*Oghma here! This one was actually a request from a friend. It's a break from my usual fare as it's World of Warcraft fan-fiction and has nothing to do with Breeders or the ongoing saga there. But hey, variety is the spice of spice of life as they say, and the spice must flow! Well it seems I'm mixing metaphors, so I'll leave you all to enjoy!*
**Disclaimer: Excessive sizes, fantasy elements, and general silliness ahead. All persons depicted in sexual situations within are of 18 years or older.**
*****
"I dunno...I don't think that's really my color." Pyrista said as she held up the garment. It was a bright green pair of hot pants, with a pair of armored skirts along the side. "The enchantment's nice and all but don't you have anything in blue?"
"Ahhh a woman of taste!" said Goddo, cracking a wide smile filled with pointed yellowing teeth. He was an older Goblin, his deep green face lined with the wrinkles of many years of experience. A long silver white ponytail adorned the top of his head, and upon his eyes were a pair of red tinted goggles. He certainly didn't look like the best enchanter and salesman in the city, but his reputation spoke wonders of his prowess. "You're right, green isn't good. Green is for ugly little goblins, not lovely Draenei ladies like you, no no no!" he reached into the crate, carefully digging through to find what he was looking for. "Aha! Here we go!" he said, lifting up a set of mail pants. The weave was exceptionally fine, with chains so tiny they may as well be silk fibers, interlaced tightly to form an armored bikini bottom. Like the ones before it, it had a set of long plate tassets, attached to a backing of blue velvet padding. Embroidered runes glowed a brilliant azure, drawing all attention its way. Pyrista's eyes grew wide in awe, she couldn't have found a more perfect bottom for her outfit if she tried.
"That's it!" she exclaimed, rushing over to grab it up. Just before her arms made contact however, Goddo quickly pulled it away.
"Ah-uh-uh!" he said, waving his finger back and forth. "You gotta buy before you try!" Pyrista sighed, right of course.
"How much?"
"900 gold!" he exclaimed with a proud smile. Pyrista visibly recoiled at the price.
"900?!" she gasped. "Isn't that too much? How about I give you 500?"
"I can't sell it for 500!" Goddo countered. "That's real Titansteel there, and the runes themselves took forever to carve and enchant. They're the ones creating the barrier that makes it stronger than normal plate. And then there's the blue lacquer- "
"Alright alright..." Pyrista held up her hand to stop him. "How about 600 then?"
Goddo paused for a moment, thinking carefully on it."
"I guess I could let it go for 700..." he said slyly. "If you throw in 10 silver and 9 copper?" Haggling for small change? Well, no matter.
"Alright, you got yourself a deal." Pyrista said offering up her hand to shake on it. It was still under budget, and she'd have enough to get herself a nice meal afterwards. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her coin purse. After carefully counting the coins she handed them over to Goddo. The Goblin had to suppress a smile; he could have gotten a fat profit on 500.
"Pleasure doing business with you!" he said with a boisterous laugh. Eagerly, Pyrista carried her new purchase over to the changing rooms to try it on. As she walked away, Goddo spotted a towering figure approaching his counter, it was time to put on the charm again.
"Welcome to the bazaar!" He said cheerfully, only now noticing the customer was a Tauren. Didn't see too many of those around here, but he wasn't one to discriminate. It was bad for business. "Can I help you with something?"
"Yeah... I hear you sell everything around here?" said the Tauren gruffly. He looked to be an old soldier, with patches of grey splish-splashed haphazardly across his fur. Scars of all shapes were seen all over his body, some looked to be cuts from variously sized objects, others the remnants of burns or broken bones that never healed completely. His horns were weathered yet still retained their proud shape; they must have been used quite a few times. This man was probably quite a handsome figure, but was definitely not Goddo's type. After all, he wasn't into Tauren, or really men for that matter.
"Yes, we do!" he replied cheerfully. "What were you looking for? I have weapons, armor, potions, jewelry, herbs, explosives, lingerie, toys for the kids, toys for- "
"That last one." Said Maiirn, stopping the Goblin mid-speech. Goddo paused, well he certainly wasn't expecting that!
"Certainly... what did you want? I've got both 'slots' and 'pegs' if you know what I mean..." he said with a sly wink, doing his best to keep things on the down low. The customer usually appreciated a bit of discretion when buying from him.
"Onaholes." Maiirn answered flatly. Once gain Goddo was struck speechless. Nobody ever asked for them by name, they just tried to allude to them. "Something that would fit a Tauren." Oh right of course, stories of their... gift traveled all across Azeroth, and the difficulties with intimacy it brought with them. That was a bit of a tall order, he had to ponder what he had to provide.
"Hm... well, let's see..." Goddo said digging deep into his memory for anything. A few ideas popped into his head, though he'd need to narrow the parameters down a bit before offering anything. "How much are you willing to spend?" Maiirn said nothing, simply reaching into his pouch. When his hand reemerged, it was holding a rather bulging full bag of coins, the slightest movement let loose a loud jingle of coins rustling together. He then unceremoniously dropped it on the counter with a deafening "clang" accompanied by a noticeable creaking of the wood buckling a little under the weight.
"That much." Goddo opened the bag and peered inside. He was almost blinded by the interior, his eyes suddenly assaulted by the light reflecting off all the gold. His hands dug through the pile eagerly, just to make sure he wasn't getting short changed with a padding of silver and copper. Sure enough, it was all gold, at least 1000 coins overall! He had to suppress his excitement as best he could, lest the client think they had the upper hand.
"Well my good sir!" Goddo said, putting on his best smile, one so wide you could swear his upper head would fall off. "For a man of your taste and caliber, I think you need something special! I'll be right back!" With that, he disappeared behind into the back room. While Maiirn couldn't see him from behind the curtains, he could definitely hear that the goblin was up to something what with the sounds of moving boxes and furniture. This would probably take a while.
*
"Here it is!" came the voice from behind the curtain, with the goblin soon following after it. Maiirn barely had enough time to discern the shape of the toy before Goddo slammed it on the table. It was a familiar oblong design, with a rounded end featuring a hole modeled after a perfectly smooth vagina, that tapered into a noticeably less girthy cylinder. The toy was a bright pink, likely to invoke a human's aesthetic.
"Looks pretty small." Maiirn said.
"Ah, that's the beauty of it!" Goddo chirped energetically. Picking the toy up, he slid two fingers inside. "It's tight enough that you'll feel snug no matter how small you are, and yet..." with a grunt he pushed his arm inside completely. Somehow the limb disappeared within the hole, the toy stretching obscenely to better fit the intruder. Yet despite how much larger it had gotten; it showed no signs of tear. Indeed, if Maiirn were to reach over and feel it, it would still have all the give left in it. "It can fit even the largest of men!"