Big Bang Theory-Zangen in Brazil

(fictional story about fictional characters)

*

It was early on Wednesday morning, Hump Day, and Penny was glued to her computer screen planning her next sales calls when Bernadette rushed into her office, nearly breathless. "What's up boss lady," Penny inquired, "you look like you just ran a marathon."

Plopping down in one of Penny's comfy chairs, Bernadette took time to catch her breath and then told her: "you'll never believe it...never."

After waiting for clarification, Penny asked: "you're not really expecting me to guess, are you."

"Henry Kimball wants to see us in his office," Bernadette blurted out, "you know who he is, right."

"Of course," Penny told her, "he's the VP in charge of Product Development. Are you sure he wants to see me, too?"

"His receptionist just called me and he specified both of us," Bernadette exclaimed, nearly shouting. "On the way down the hall, I ran into Shelly; you know that gossipy bitch from accounting; and she said she heard they're developing some new organic drug. I bet that's what it's about. Wow...Henry Kimball...he's got that corner office on the top floor." Penny grabbed her jacket and they nearly ran to the elevator.

When they were shown into his office, he greeted them with a hearty handshake and gestured for them to sit down. The chairs were over-stuffed and Penny felt like she was sitting on a cloud. Glancing out the window, she realized he had an unobstructed view of the Rose Parade route. He was middle-aged and rapidly balding, but looked to be in fairly good shape. He sat on the edge of his huge desk and began: "I suppose you're wondering why I asked for this meeting. Well everyone on the Board was so pleased with the effort you put forth on the new anti-inflammatory product that we would like you to spearhead our newest endeavor." Penny nearly giggled while thinking that, for his sake, she hoped it was a new hair-growth treatment.

"As I'm sure you're aware, the new trend is for everything to be "all natural" or "organic" in composition. It's a virtual gold mine if you can claim those two things in your advertising. In this new age of sustainable wind and solar energy, and organic farming; it's all the tree-huggers will purchase. Well, we have the inside track on an all-natural erectile dysfunction treatment. As I'm sure you know, we have representatives all over the world tracking down rumors of new drugs or treatments; and one of them heard rumors of an indigenous tribe in the Amazon rain forest that sported constant erections; with no apparent side-effects. This tribe, the Mamua, lives right on the border of Brazil and Peru, and has had almost no contact with civilization."

"Our agent trekked there and saw first hand that the rumors were true. There is a plant that seemingly grows only in this region and when the roots are ground into a salve it produces the ED cure. Just a small dab on the penis stimulates the blood vessels to engorge and produces an erection that lasts for hours. He tried to bring back a sample, but the Mamua are very protective of their plants and he was only able to conceal a single leaf. Our Botanists had never seen this plant before and named it Boniferous Maximus. What we would like you two to do is travel to the Mamua village; develop a rapport with the natives and secure their permission to export some of their plants."

"You are both excellent "people-persons" and communicators and we think you would be perfect for the job," he told them. What he didn't tell them was that their agent had long blond hair and the natives seemed to be totally fascinated and enthralled by it; so the Board agreed that two blond females would have an edge.

"But we know nothing about negotiations or treaties or anything like that," Bernadette told him.

Penny thought: "yeah and you probably won't be able to bully them."

"We understand that," Kimball said, "that's why we're sending a whole team of negotiators and language experts with you." "If they are reluctant," he whispered, "try to sneak some seeds out." This is all legitimate business practice. We've been in touch with the Funai; which is the Brazilian government agency for indigenous Indian Affairs and they are in full cooperation; of course we may not have been completely honest about our mission. We would fly you as close as possible and then you proceed about eighty miles by boat to their village. It's very remote; almost one of those lost tribes you read about once in a while. I don't think I have to tell you the financial ramifications of a discovery like this...it could be worth countless millions. Your bonuses would make you set for life. What do you say?"

They looked at each other, both knowing their futures at Zangen would be dim if they declined the offer and disappointed the Board. Penny was first to speak up: "sounds like a fun adventure."

"I'm not very outdoorsy," Bernadette began, "but I guess if it will help the company...."

Not waiting for them to change their minds, Kimball exclaimed: "great...I'll tell the Board. You understand the urgency of this mission; the pharmaceutical business is cutthroat and there are spies everywhere. If we heard about this, there are bound to be others right on our heels. We would need you to leave right away. Do you both have passports?"

"A passport is good for like ten years, right," Penny asked. When Kimball nodded in the affirmative, she assured him, "good, then I have one." She still had the passport she had gotten for the ill-fated Valentine's Day trip to Switzerland with Leonard which never happened because she had contracted the flu.

"Start preparing right away while we finalize the travel arrangements," Kimball told them. "Anything you need, just put on your company expense account card. Get ready for an adventure. Make sure you stop by the company heath nurse and she will give you your Malaria inoculations. And remember; you do whatever you need to do to close this billion dollar deal."

As they were leaving his office, all Penny could think of was that movie "Up," where the moto was "adventure is out there." In the elevator, they both exhaled loudly and Bernadette exclaimed: "wow, I didn't see that coming. Brazil! A little out of my element...but think of the money."

"Yeah, the money would be nice," Penny agreed, "but did you notice nothing was said about spouses coming along. Purely a business trip. How do we break it to the guys?"

Always blinded by the dollar sign, Bernadette replied: "oh yeah...the guys. They'll just have to suck it up. Somehow I just can't see Howie in the rain forest...they probably have mosquitos bigger than him."

"I guess you're right," Penny agreed, "I'm sure Leonard will understand. He isn't even that fond of the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland."

By the end of the day, Kimball had called Bernadette and Penny and confirmed that their flight would be departing LAX on Saturday morning. When Penny had expressed surprise that they were able to clear all the logistics so soon, he had replied simply, "money talks."

When she arrived home that night, Leonard was already there and she immediately sat him down on the sofa and explained her situation. He, of course, supported her but expressed many of the same concerns she had. "So you're talking about traveling to a small village in the middle of the Amazon rain forest and dealing with a basically undiscovered tribe," he asked? "Are you sure it's safe? How many will be in your party and what protections will there be? Will someone be there who can communicate with them? How long will you be gone?"

"Wow...all good questions and the same ones I asked," she assured him. "Mr. Kimball promised us that there will be Brazilian guides who are familiar with similar languages and will be able to communicate with the Mamua tribe. The Brazilian government has granted the expedition permission to carry firearms for protection from wild animals and snakes; and you know I'm familiar with guns from being on the farm. He said there will be Brazilians hired to carry the equipment and navigate the river; and Zangen will be sending, I think, three negotiators. It'll be quite a large party. He said to figure on ten days; most of which would be travel time...I guess it's pretty slow going in the jungle. I think he said they would even have a satellite phone with them."

"And this is really something you're sure you want to do," he asked.

"Well it is quite an adventure and Bernadette is counting on me...and just think of the bonus," she exclaimed.

"Yeah," he reluctantly agreed, "but will you still get a bonus if the mission doesn't succeed?"

"Think positive," she smiled, "I'm pretty good at persuading people."

Knowing that he had no right to say "no" and that she would resent him if he did, Leonard reluctantly consented: "well, I guess if you're sure you want to go...you should go. Make sure to pack lot's of bug repellent." They hugged for several minutes and then spent the rest of the evening glued to his laptop discovering what types of wildlife she would be encountering.

The next day, she and Bernadette spent the day shopping for clothing suitable for a jungle excursion. Clothes would have to be made of material that dried quickly in the rain forest; heavy enough for protection from the dense foliage and yet breathable in the extreme heat. The actually found an Army Surplus store and the proprietor recommended several articles of clothing that had been used in the Vietnam war. When Leonard came through the door that evening, Penny was waiting for him wearing just a long sleeve, button-up camouflage shirt and no pants. He immediately became aroused at seeing her magnificent bare legs, and wondering what she was wearing under the shirt. The shirt wasn't buttoned and when she moved he could see her wonderful cleavage and lack of a bra. The first words out of her mouth were: "me Jane...you Tarzan."

Thinking quickly, he told her: "hold that thought," threw his laptop bag in the corner and headed straight for their bedroom. Penny would swear it was only thirty seconds later, he emerged from the bedroom dressed only in the sexy leopard print Speedos she had bought him for Christmas as a joke. He declared: "me Tarzan." She was still impressed how well toned his muscles had become since he had started practicing yoga with her; and they both laughed at the fantasy.

She started to do a little shimmy & shake dance, coyly lowering the shirt off one bare shoulder at a time, her back to him and asked: "so what do you think of my new shirt." He really didn't have to answer because the bulge in his Speedos was now threatening to split the material. From the first time they had made love, Penny was convinced that his fat nine inches was the absolute perfect size for her: just large enough to completely fill her pussy and yet not so big that she couldn't fit it in her mouth. His size had surprised her at the time and she had scolded herself for not giving him a chance sooner. With her back still facing him, she pulled her arms out of the sleeves and proceeded to use the shirt as she would a bath towel; pulling it back and forth as she slowly lowered it, exposing more of her smooth back.

When she reached her perfectly round ass cheeks, she let go of one side of the shirt, raised it up over her lead and began to twirl it like a lasso. As soon as her ass was revealed, Leonard knew she had gone completely commando and it seemed to him like she had uncovered a Michelangelo sculpture. Still gyrating her hips, her wonderful breasts jiggled and bounced as she teased him. They were perfection personified: a full firm 36 C with pink gumdrop nipples surrounded by elongated light pink areola. "God, she's beautiful," he thought, "I am the luckiest man in the universe." Staring between her marvelous long legs at her wide thigh gap, he marveled at her prominent camel-toe. Her mound resembled two peach halves separated by a wide coin slot, and he could see that it was already glistening with her arousal.

She released the twirling shirt and heard it hit something by the kitchen island, then dropped to her knees in front of her smiling husband. Wasting no time, she grasped the sides of his Speedos and yanked them down to his knees; his large prick slapping him in the stomach. Pushing the suit down and off his feet when he lifted them, Penny grasped his rod in her hand and began to swirl her talented tongue all around his knob. "So Tarzan," she continued the fantasy, "do you think I could persuade you to give me your plants?"

Looking down, Leonard watched as her bright red lips closed around his shaft and she sucked him back into her throat. "You can have the whole jungle," he moaned as her tongue caressed the underside of his penis and her hand massaged his scrotum. Watching her blond head bob up and down his shaft was the sexiest thing he had ever seen; her beautiful face swallowing his hard-on. As she expertly sucked his cock, Leonard leaned forward and grasped one of her incredible breasts in each hand, marveling at how firm and yet soft they were. He kneaded them and massaged them as if worshipping her magnificent mounds. When they first started having sex, Leonard wasn't sure whether he should comment on her oral prowess, for fear of offending her; but after becoming more intimate, he realized she was incredibly proud of her skills.

"Oh God," he moaned, "you are the best cock-sucker in the universe." He could see the corners of her mouth turn up as she grinned around his shaft and she playfully scraped his hard-on with her teeth. "Oh shit," he shivered as his prick began to twitch in her mouth and suddenly her throat was flooded with his seed. Penny gulped and swallowed like she was feasting on melting ice cream on a hot summer day. Leonard ran his fingers through her lustrous blond mane and grasped the sides of her head as he fucked her gorgeous face. When he was done pumping his load into her mouth, he pulled back and let his slightly shrinking shaft slip from her lips. Not one single drop escaped her mouth and she smiled up at him like an angel...an incredibly naughty angel.

He dropped to his knees in front of her, hugged her against his chest, enjoying the feeling of her soft breasts flattening between them; and then urged her to lay back on the carpet. With that angelic smile still on her face, she spread her legs obscenely wide and asked, "see anything you like?"

Determined to keep the joke alive, Leonard voiced: "Tarzan hungry." Leaning forward, he ran his hands up and down her silky thighs several times before using his thumbs to pry her plump lips apart, revealing the pinkest flesh he had ever seen. He never tired of gazing at her pink pussy and just sat there for a couple of minutes before leaning in, extending his tongue and licking the outer edges of her slit from bottom to top. "Mmmm good," he grunted as he lapped up the juices that were leaking from her opening. Penny's perfectly round cheeks began to gyrate as Leonard licked her labia and she shivered when he actually started to chew on her fleshy lips. Using his tongue as a scoop, he slid it as far up her hole as he could while simultaneously slipping two fingers of his right hand into her juicy pussy.

As he finger-fucked, and lapped at her tight slit; he began to manipulate her engorged clit with the thumb and forefinger of his left hand. He could see Penny's fingers trying to dig into the carpet as her naked body writhed, and when he roughly pinched her swollen nub between his fingers, his face was suddenly flooded with her orgasm as her body stiffened and arched. It was like being drenched by a child's Super-Soaker and Penny squealed: "oh my fucking God." She thrust her groin forward into his face and Leonard sucked and licked at the fluids drooling out of her hole. As he cleaned her crotch with his tongue, her magnificent body began to relax and lay flat against the rug. "Holy shit Bwana," she gasped, "I thought my husband was the only one that could make me squirt."

"Do you think they'll call me Bwana in the jungle," she jokingly asked.

"I doubt it," he remarked, "it's an African word...Swahili I think." He sat back on his heels just admiring the most perfect nude body he had ever seen; in person or in pictures. "Jeez you're beautiful," he mumbled as he stared at her naked flesh.

"Thank you Tarzan," she teased him, "now how about fucking me." Reaching down, she used her fingers to pull her puffy lips apart, giving him a nice target. More than eager, Leonard thought his prick was so hard it might explode as he inched forward and nudged his fat crown against her open slit. "Do it baby...shove that big fat cock up my pussy."

When his wide crown was nestled between her fat lips Leonard made fists and began to pound his chest like an ape. He yelled out: "ahhh...ahhh...ahh...ahh...ahhh...ahhh...ahhh...ahhh...ahhh," like the classic Tarzan jungle cry (but sounded more like the Carol Burnett imitation). The second he was done, he lunged forward and in one motion buried his meaty cock all the way up Penny's wet pussy. She had been going to laugh at his impression, but that thought had been dismissed from her mind by the utter ecstasy she was now experiencing. He had caught her off guard with his sudden thrust and her body quivered with excitement as he stretched her vaginal walls. They knew each other so well, that Leonard didn't move for a full two minutes. They both relished the overwhelming sensation of the very first penetration: for her the stretching of her entire hole, and for him the way her warm wet tunnel gripped his shaft.

She was the first to speak: "holy crap I love your cock...fuck me baby...fuck my cunt." Penny loved the feeling of having his pole spreading the walls of her pussy just enough to make her feel full. Leonard reached under her, grasped a wonderful cheek in each hand and began to fuck his gorgeous blond wife. As his large meat slid in and out of her hole, she gasped: "oh God that's good...I love it when you fuck me." Leonard sat up straight and watched her magnificent tits jiggle up and down on her chest in perfect rhythm. He thrust into her hard and then leaned down so he could suck on her hard gumdrops. Her nipples were like firm gumdrops as he nibbled on them with his teeth. He began to pound into her harder and harder.

"Oh yesss, baby," she moaned, "fuck me...fuck me harder...stretch my cunt." Penny wrapped her long legs around his waist and locked her ankles behind his back, trying to pull more of his cock inside her. In and out, he jammed his fat meat and she squealed: "yessss...yesss...fuck my cunt." He released her perfect cheeks and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as he thrust into her juicy pussy. There was nothing in the universe that Leonard would rather do than be inside her cunt; it was his idea of heaven. He had married the girl of his dreams, and he couldn't have been happier. After a few more thrusts, Leonard shoved up into her hole, ground his pelvis against hers and she felt her tunnel being flooded with his seed.

"Oh God, yessss," she screeched as her naked body convulsed, "cum in me baby...cum in me...fill my fucking cunt." She raised her head up and actually bit down on his shoulder so hard that he winced. "Fuck me baby...fuck me...jam that big fat cock up my pussy." They were both out of breath and sweating, but didn't want the embrace to end. When Leonard's shrinking prick slipped naturally from her slit, he reached up, grabbed a couple of throw-pillows and they just lay there in each others arms, on the floor, until they fell asleep.

On Friday, Penny spent the day packing and on the phone getting final instructions from Kimball. They would be flying into Manaus, Brazil; where they would meet the rest of the party; and then traveling upriver by boat. Leonard made sure she packed several bottles of bug repellant. The whole gang had dinner together that night and wished Bernadette and Penny good luck.