A Life More Ordinary Ch 03

Author's note: Welcome to chapter 3 of this Stardew Valley story! I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. The plot thickens and the cast continues to expand, so I would recommend reading the previous entries to learn more.

By way of a content warning, it features intersex characters, large to massive breasts, oral sex, super sentai fanboyism, incestuous relationships, large cumshots, romantic stargazing, a lot of non-sexual content, cum swapping and swallowing, poorly-executed pool hustling, and most importantly, an amateurish ability to write sexy scenes. These warnings will be updated per chapter as necessary. If any of these are of little interest to you, the reader, I offer my apologies.

Disclaimer: All characters engaging in sexual activity are at least 18 years of age.

Chapter 3: The Game Plan

Spring 5, Year 1 (Continued)

Four days.

FOUR. DAYS

, and she'd already been found out by some jackass wizard that apparently had nothing better to do than involve themselves in her business. She had a full schedule planned already, and now this. She reread the letter, fuming:

To Kaylia Gardner, Red Dragon Farm; alias Private Kaylia Gardner, Company A, First Battalion, 103rd Infantry, Republic Armed Forces; alias Kaylia the Red, the Peerless Tactician, Unmatched General of the Gotoro Empire, Wielder of the Lance of the Cosmos; from M. Rasmodius, Sorcerer of the First Realm of Ephiseus, Seeker of Ancient Truths, Master of Flame and Shadow, Keeper of the Seven Elemental Orbs of Halak, Manipulator of Mystical Delights, Champion of the Great Halls of Terr'akkas; greetings.

I am given to understand that, in your short time here, you have become somewhat familiar with the problems that face this valley. I am also aware you recently visited the town's community center and have discovered its unique... 'infestation' issues. I am something of an expert in these matters, and I may have information regarding same that may be of interest. Please attend my humble abode west of the forest lake at your earliest convenience.

Kay was beside herself with rage. It had all the common hallmarks: the pretentious titles, the vague offers of assistance, the arrogance of an object summons presented as a 'polite invitation'. It was all Kay could do to not charge over there, kick the door down, and beat the jackass half to death with her bare hands.

She took a moment to breathe and think the situation through. She was a relative stranger with a host of secrets here, while the wizard was a native and possibly a well-regarded member of the community. Were that actually true, though, why wouldn't they have done something about the valley's 'problems' themselves? Why wait for Kaylia to show up to be blackmailed into doing wizard's work? Granted, they hadn't outright

said

they'd reveal Kay's secrets if she didn't comply, but that sort of overt threat wasn't wizardly. The letter's introduction was implication enough of that.

No, this called for a calm, measured response. Kay went into the cabin to fetch a few things, no sense going in completely unprotected. She exited and started south towards Cindersap Forest, deciding to put her best foot forward.

*****

Melvyn Rasmodius, Sorcerer of the First Realm of Ephiseus, Bearer of About One Thousand Other Titles He Couldn't Be Bothered to Keep Straight, carefully stirred the contents of his cauldron before returning to the magic circle. He adjusted the black hat perched atop his voluminous purple hair, smoothed out his black wizarding robes, and stroked his imaginary beard. He always fidgeted with the facial hair he was incapable of growing when he was nervous, even though he had taken the appropriate precautions. Whatever fell sorcery the Peerless Tactician could bring to bear would be blunted if not outright countered (he was sure of that), perhaps giving him the chance to explain himself. He thought back to the letter, penned in some haste, and wondered if he'd been perhaps a bit too perfunctory in his invitation.

He was startled as the door to the tower flew off its hinges with a loud

BANG

, landing on the floor and sliding to within inches of where he stood. In the doorway, the Peerless Tactician stood upon one leg, her right foot extended out in a flawless side kick, which she pulled back and brought to the floor with a flourish. She was adorned in crimson armor, the plates etched and inlaid with precious metals to give the effect of scales, and her face was hidden behind a snarling dragon's maw forged of pure ruby. Her eyes glowed red from behind that terrible mask, and she projected a fierce aura of strength and confidence as she strode into the wizard's abode.

"I do not appreciate being summoned, wizard," her voice was altered by the mask, sounding slightly metallic and entirely menacing, "I am not your servant to command."

Melvyn stared at her for a moment before a wide, childlike grin covered his face. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed, "That was fuckin' righteous!"

Kay's eyes narrowed. This was... different.

"I mean," the wizard continued, "I'm glad you took out the door and didn't knock a hole in the wall, but I suppose that would have been pretty bitchin', too. Or, maybe a three-point landing through the roof? Sorry, wow, you actually came! I was kind of worried, I didn't realize I sounded like a total dick in that letter until after I sent it, and I try to keep written communications like that formal, but I just... fuck! The Ruby fuckin' Dragon, right here! In

my

tower!"

She'd been expecting something a little more confrontational and less effusive. She definitely felt her abilities being dulled pretty competently by whatever wards he'd erected, so he wasn't incompetent, but they were strictly dampeners, not siphons trying to draw off her power and weaken her defenses. They certainly wouldn't protect him from a severe beating with her bare hands, that was for sure. Also, she'd probably have to take his lunch money for the sake of decorum if she beat him up, this guy couldn't have been more than 20.

"You sent me the letter?" she asked, incredulous. The wizard nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah! Melvyn Rasmodius, at your service, ma'am!" He doffed his hat and bowed with a flourish. His hair was legit, a ragged mop of unruly curls, clearly well-washed and moisturized, and of a similar color to a certain shopkeeper's daughter. His face was bright, and he was just so happy to meet her.

"I, uh... K-Kay," she responded. Something inside told her she may want to give this kid a chance, wizard or not. She pursed her lips, then dismissed the armor with a thought, the enchanted plate mail retreating into the medallion she wore around her neck. She then removed her mask, and it too folded in on itself into a small diamond-shaped token that she placed in a recess in the medallion.

Melvyn nearly lost it before remembering himself. She was everything he'd hoped for: tall, ripped, beautiful beyond mortal ken. He'd studied countless texts about the Imperial Bladesisters and their mystical origins, and when he'd realized the new farmer wasn't actually the Gardners' granddaughter but the Peerless Tactician, he'd nearly lost consciousness from all the squeeing.

"Keep it together, Mel, she's here on business, no fanboying." He cleared his throat and smiled, gesturing to the table next to the magic circle. "So, uh, I take it you have questions."

Now that sounds like a wizard

, Kay thought to herself as she sat down, disregarding the 'fanboy' comment for the moment. "You could say that. You say something's amiss in the valley?" He nodded.

"Yeah. I only just started noticing it last year, it's taken me a while to really get in tune with the magical weave here, I'm, uh, kind of new to it." He winced before continuing. "Something has been messing with the natural flows of magic, interrupting or redirecting them in unnatural ways. I haven't been able to pin down the exact causes, but I've already sensed something trying to fix it. I'm guessing you've got a harvest coming in already?" He wasn't sure if she'd planted anything or that she'd had a chance to bond to the land, but the surge of energy building at the farm was a positive sign.

Kay nodded. She wasn't sure what this guy's game was yet, or even if this whole youthful exuberance thing was an act, but she wanted answers. "Yeah, I'm new to farming as a profession, myself, but I do know that parsnips take longer than 4 days to mature."

"Right?!" Melvyn scooted closer. "There's an energy to this place, it's as though the natural cycles of the land are on overdrive. That's why the produce from the Valley is so highly prized. Same for the fish and animal products, as well. The best part is, all of that feeds back into the land, reinforcing the energy and making more of it available for others. Basically, when the land and its people are in balance, it's like everything is 'work it, make it, do it, makes us,' all the time."

"Harder, better, faster, stronger," Kay replied, almost by reflex. It made some sense, and it agreed with the Imperial theories about earth magic in the Republic. "But, I thought one needed to enact some sort of ritual to access that kind of power."

Melvyn nodded. "Sort of. Anyone that works the land will have a much easier time of it if they form a... well, a 'mystic bond' with it, for lack of a better term. It generally requires an offering of oneself to the land, and the emotions behind the offering are very important. An offering of greed or desire for dominion, for example, won't take very well, and may even warp the land to some extent. An offering of love and friendship, on the other hand, tends to kick start that bond rapidly indeed. So, this is kind of a tricky question, and I totally get if it either doesn't make sense or you can't think of an answer, but would you have given the land anything of yourself since you've been here?"

Kay instantly felt her face go bright rose. "I, uh..."

Melvyn tilted his head. "I know, it's super vague, I'm sorry about that. It could have been anything: a short prayer to the Goddess, maybe some sweat or saliva..."

"...a big load of cum..." Kay shrunk down in her seat a little. She didn't embarrass easily, but something about

this

conversation with

this

wizard got her there. To her surprise (and mild relief), Melvyn took her answer seriously, and rubbed his chin as he considered.

"Yeah, that would definitely work. Actually, I'm surprised I didn't think of that first, an expression of love... err, well, lust might be close enough if it wasn't predatory... sorry, it would fast-track the whole business. I take it you jilled off and made a mess?" He asked in a fairly clinical tone, without any sort of judgment or apparent disgust.

"Well," Kay responded, in for a penny... "jacked off is more accurate, but yeah."

Melvyn's eyes widened and his cheeks blushed. "Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry! I just... I assumed because of..." He gestured to Kay's chest. That got her to laugh.

"It's fine. What can I do to help?"

Melvyn's face brightened in relief. "Honestly? Get the farm rolling. The more you grow and provide to the community, the more the land will start to recover on its own, which will boost the farm's output, and so onward. It's already started, from what I can tell, so just keep it up. You'll get similar effects from raising farm animals, or even just a pet, there's a lot of power in the bond between animals and their caretakers. Also, I'm still not 100% about this part, but making friends with everyone in town will help, as well, I think. Like everyone and everything is a part of the community. So when the people are happy..."

"The valley is happy," Kay finished. It seemed a very new agey approach to this, similar to the vibes she got from Emily, but it did make some logical sense. Kay recalled the mayor's lament and realized how helpful fixing up the Community Center would be in reestablishing those bonds of friendship within the whole town.

She suddenly remembered the other feeling she got from elsewhere in town. "How much of a problem will Joja be? Should someone take steps to..."

Melvyn cut her off. "Absolutely not! They're a big part of this, I'm guessing you sensed that too. They're trying to harness the Valley for their own ends, and it's doing a number on the local ecosystem, which in turn is ripping the magic out of the land. I wouldn't be surprised if they knew what they were doing and didn't care. But forcing them out wouldn't help, the violent nature of such an eviction might make things worse. They have to leave of their own volition."

Kay wondered about that, but decided to move on. "The Community Center."

"Ah!" Melvyn jumped up and snapped his fingers. In the magic circle next to them, an image of the sentient green fuzzball appeared.

"THAT'S IT," Kay shouted, recoiling a bit. It was larger than the one in the center, but it was just as adorable. Melvyn smiled and nodded.

"They have a little hut in there, right?" Kay nodded in response. "Did they ask you for anything?"

"No, it- they just kind of chirped at me, but they did lead me to some kind of plate in the activity room." Melvyn's eyes widened.

"Hold on, I'm going to go take a look." He snapped his fingers again, there was a flash of light, and he was gone. Kay rose from her chair, the faint tang of ozone hanging in the air. She looked around and noticed that the door was back on its hinges. When did that happen? She wondered. Suddenly, it flew open as Melvyn rushed in, grabbing a set of scrolls and a quill from the table and immediately starting to scribble on them.

"Incredible!" he said to himself as Kay approached. "I think I can translate this... it's pretty obscure, but I think... yes, this should be it!" He handed the finished scroll to Kay:

We, the Junimo, would be happy to aid you. In return, we ask for gifts of the valley. If you are one with the forest, you will see the true nature of this tablet.

"The Junimo?" Kay asked.

"Earth spirits! They'll set up shop in out of the way places and ask for things in exchange for helping out where they can. They're really industrious little fellows if they get the help they need."

"Why haven't they reached out to you? I mean, coming to an ex-Imperial seems a bit desperate, especially if the Valley has its own wizard." Kay wondered aloud, and Melvyn's face fell.

"I don't know. They avoid me like the plague. Maybe-..." Melvyn shook it off. "If they're appearing to you, then you're the one to help them. Now, 'one with the forest'..."

Melvyn turned back to the cauldron and gave it a stir, beckoning Kay over. The pot bubbled and emitted a green steam. "This is a decoction I've been tinkering with the past few days. Baby ferns, moss grubs, caramel-top toadstools, and lots of other local roots and lichens. Can you smell it?"

Kay leaned over and inhaled deeply. "It smells like tree sap and dirty feet." She had a bad feeling about where this was going.

Melvyn took a ladle from the side of the cauldron, dipped it in, and filled a crystal goblet with the bubbling liquid. He took a whiff of it before offering the goblet to Kay. "If I'm right, this is practically pure forest essence. It's not weeks of intense meditation deep in the forest, but it should be a suitable shortcut."

Kay was incredibly dubious of this whole business, but there was no denying Melvyn's earnestness. Cautiously, she accepted the goblet. "Down the hatch, I guess." On 1, 2, 3, she gulped the contents all at once, gasping for breath after she swallowed. It tasted surprisingly fresh and minty.

"Okay, that wasn't tooooooowhatisgoooooooingooooooooon..." The world swam around before going dim. Kay felt her body begin to float through an endless stand of fir trees, a calm surrounding her very soul. She could sense the vibrant life in the forest around her, and as she opened her consciousness to this vision, she felt the magic flowing through her and the world around her, an overwhelming feeling of the deepest love she had ever known. It was as though the Goddess herself had taken Kay into her bosom, the warmth of her love and radiance suffusing Kay.

"Uh, madame General? Are you okay?" Melvyn's slightly reedy voice brought Kay back to consciousness. She sat up, realizing she was now on the floor a short distance away from the cauldron. Melvyn looked at her, concern writ large on his face.

"I'm okay," she replied. "That was a trip."

"Probably the LSD," Melvyn mused. Kay glared at him. "Kidding! I mean, some of those mushrooms were definitely of the 'magic' variety, but nothing too powerful."

Kay stood up, her balance seemed to be okay. She stepped over to the door and looked out. The world seemed just a little bit brighter, more colorful. She turned back to the wizard.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"Uh, 32 last winter, why?"

Okay, not as young as I thought, but still...

"You haven't been here that long." He shook his head.

"About 5 years. I took over for my predecessor when he... when he retired." He avoided Kay's eyes, clearly hiding something. Kay decided now was not the time.

"Alright, I've got crops to pull in. Do you need anything more from me now?"

"Your autograph?" He laughed weakly. "Just, keep me posted, madame General. If I find out anything useful, I'll drop you a line."

"Kay," she corrected, "my name is Kay."

He smiled bashfully and nodded. "Right. Sorry, I just... I don't know if I can handle being on a first-name basis with you. You and your sisters are kind of amazing."

She smirked as she left him to his work. "Fuckin' A, we are."

*****

Kay's to-do list got revised in her head as she headed back to the farm. Still at the top were "Harvest the parsnips," "deliver the parsnips to Pierre's," "plant the next round of crops," "deliver Haley's horseradish", "check out the mine," and finally "deliver an object lesson in humility." Now, she inserted "go back to the Community Center" towards the top, figuring to take a look and see if anything was different. It was a full day, but Kay knew she'd be able to fuel up properly for the first time in days if she had to.

Upon arriving back at Red Dragon, Kay found that something had started the harvest a little early. The remains of a parsnip lay near the rest of the crop, and a large raven was hopping around in the field sizing up its next course. Kay rushed over trying to wave it off. "Shoo! Shoo, you vulture!" The raven regarded her with some interest before flying up and perching on the porch roof, cawing amiably.

It made sense that the local wildlife would consider her fields a prime buffet. Guards were called for, in the traditional farm manner. Kay went to her supplies chest and pulled out some fiber bundles and a lump of coal, then walked to one of the woodpiles for some rough planks. After a few minutes' work, she drove a rather fashionable scarecrow in between the tilled plots of land, positioning it to also watch over the future plots that she'd spool up in the days ahead. She hoped it would at least deter the more skittish scavengers from despoiling her crops. She could figure something out for the rest of them.

She spent the next half hour pulling parsnips from the ground and piling them in her backpack. They came out surprisingly clean, with only a few specks of dirt easily knocked off here and there. It was a fairly sizable harvest, and several of the root vegetables were of exceptional size. She hoped they would bring a better price, but Pierre would be the final arbiter.

On the way over to town, Kay stopped and collected a sizable bounty of forage. She was getting better at picking out the wild veggies and flowers, and she was happy to add on to her payday. Once again, she reached the general store well in advance of opening hours, so she detoured around and headed for the Community Center. No sense putting it off if she had the time now.