Chapter 8 – Revelations
Eryn awoke with a start, gasping loudly. Judging by the lack of light coming through the windows, she could only guess that it was late in the evening. Looking to the chronometer near her beside, she saw that it was indeed late, or rather, early in the morning.
"What just happened?" she said to herself, looking around the room.
The top sheet slipped away and Eryn looked down, realizing she was still naked. She instinctively crossed her arms across her chest, covering her breasts as she felt a slight chill race up her spine. She pulled her knees up toward her chest, and as she did so, she felt the residual stickiness coating her thighs… and her vagina. Cautiously she reached a hand down, touching her thighs with her fingertips, then bringing her fingers to her face.
She smelled like sex. Not masturbation; no, there was the distinct smell of a man mingled with the scent of her own fragrant juices.
"Ugh… what did I do?" she moaned, suddenly slightly panicked.
She tried to remember. She remembered the day, how she had been so excited all day by the odd dream she had in class. She remembered coming home and finding Jacen in the shower, and seeing him naked as they switched places. And then she remembered the lust, the raw, animal urge to have sex that had swept her body as she lathered herself. At that point, everything came flooding back – the sex with Jacen, the amazing orgasms, everything. It had felt so good… and yet she knew it was so wrong.
"What have I done?" Eryn whimpered in the dark, starting to tremble. "What will everyone think of me?"
Despite her best efforts, Eryn began to cry softly to herself. She hugged her legs tightly, letting her tears trickle down her cheeks. She had turned her back on all that she was, abandoned the most basic principles of her society. What would her friends say? Her family? Would they even want to speak to her again?
Unexpectedly, her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at her door. As she frantically wiped her face and pulled her sheet back up to her shoulders, the door open and Jacen stuck his head in.
"Eryn? Are you okay? I thought I heard something."
"Jacen, please go away," Eryn muttered, turning away from the light from the hallway. "I'm a mess."
"Is everything all right?" the young man insisted. "Do you want some company?"
"I said no!" Eryn screamed at him. "It's bad enough I let you fuck me like some cheap whore! Can't you just leave me alone?"
In frustration she threw one hand up toward the door. Jacen felt himself pushed back into the hallway as Eryn's door slammed shut, driven by her powerful Force push. Jacen stood looking at the closed door for a moment.
"I guess that's what I get," he told himself. "Shouldn't have tampered with the Flower of Paradise like I did."
Jacen went back into his room, feeling rather guilty and somewhat dejected. He tried to get back to sleep but couldn't, so he just lied there in bed staring at the ceiling. He could feel Eryn's emotional turmoil sending ripples through the Force, even from in his room. He tried to block it out, but that was a skill he did not quite master during his week on Yavin.
After a few minutes that felt like hours, Jacen heard a knock on his door.
"Jacen?" Eryn's voice called hesitantly from the other side. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah," he replied, lying on his side with his back facing the door. "It's unlocked."
He heard the door open, but apparently the hallway light was off because the room remained dark. He felt Eryn's physical presence as she entered the room, sitting down on the edge of his bed.
"Jacen, I'm sorry," she said. "I overreacted. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
"No, I'm sorry," Jacen told her, still not facing her. "It's my fault for pushing you too far."
"Jacen, don't," Eryn said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Please… look at me."
Jacen reluctantly turned and faced her. He had to struggle to hide his shock as he noticed that she hadn't dressed, but rather only had her bed sheet wrapped around her.
"Hey you," Eryn said, smiling. "Glad you can still look at me."
"Why wouldn't I?" he said, sitting up in bed.
"I don't know. I figured you'd be upset at me for screaming at you like that. Or maybe you think I'm just too much of a slut."
"Eryn, you are not a slut," Jacen said, firmly.
"Oh sure," she said skeptically. "I just threw everything my parents taught me about decency to the winds because I had an uncontrollable urge to feel a cock in me. I'm not a slut at all."
"Eryn, we went over this already. What we did wasn't wrong – certainly not for you. If anyone was in the wrong, it was me."
"You? What are you talking about? I was the one who gave into you. I just wanted it so badly…"
"That's precisely what I mean," Jacen told her. "Look – you're not on Asiris anymore, Eryn. You're finding your own place in the rest of the galaxy now, which means making your own choices. If you want something and decide to take it, then that's your choice. You've broken no law of the Republic. We're both consenting citizens of legal age."
"But we Asirians have traditions, Jacen."
"But you shouldn't let those traditions hold you back from becoming the person you want to be," Jacen countered. "If you want to be someone who doesn't have to hide her sexuality, someone who wants a sexual experience other than masturbation, then that is your choice to make, and you are no worse of a person for making that choice."
Eryn was silent, taking in what Jacen had just said.
"And besides," Jacen added sheepishly, "I'd like to think that what we shared today wasn't just a big mistake."