A friend asked me to put her experience in story form, so after several interview sessions I finally got the gist of her story, and with a few embellishments here it is. Some Tagalog phrases are included, but you can get the gist of story, I think. Names have been modified as per her request. She hopes you enjoy reading it as much as she did. - author
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I'm Yna, and I guess I'm what you might call a spoiled brat. Being the youngest has its perks, and early on I've learned how to make dad, mom and older brother Nic do my bidding - well, mom to a certain degree, but she always gets outvoted by the other two, so I get my way in the end, most of the time.
We're kinda well-to-do, but not filthy rich. My dad works hard enough at being a doctor to send my brother and I to the best schools. My mom's family is even richer, being pure Chinese. It's often a wonder how dad was able to win mom's parents over while they were still going steady, but I'm glad they got together.
I didn't want for anything growing up. I never had to commute going to and from school, played with the best toys, had the best birthday parties. I've seen most of Europe, the United States, Asia, and even Russia by the time I entered college. Life was good.
College didn't start out well. First, they wanted me to go to UST, their alma mater. Or, for me to join my brother over at Ateneo. I had my mind set on La Salle because my preferred course was there, although my primary reason for wanting to go there was for me to finally move out of the house and have a greater degree of independence. UST was close to my grandparents', and Ateneo was like a stones' throw away from our house. At La Salle, I would have to move in a condo. Naturally dad and mom were opposed to the idea, but I stood firm, and finally they had to give in (as usual). The only concession I made was that I would be sharing the condo with Pam, a childhood friend. It helped that Pam was pure Chinese, her parents being close friends with mom.
It was a concession that would make a big impact on my life. Pam and I hit it off right away, and we became BFFs in no time. We went to the same college, shopped 'til we dropped at the same malls, double-dated. We were each others' mentor as far as fashion and guys were concerned. Although we went out with guys, and even flirted with the cute ones, we never got into any serious relationships. I was enjoying my freedom to get myself tied down to a man, while Pam's excuse was that her parents had arranged a marriage for her, as per Chinese tradition. That I was free to choose whomever I want gave me a sigh of relief and some pity for my friend.
During our third year in college I caught the eye of a fashion photographer, who offered to give me a modelling job. Now may be a good time to describe myself. I'm almost 5'7", kinda on the slim side, 35-22-34, with smooth fair skin, prominent cheekbones and chinky eyed. Wary at first but very interested, I tried it out. I enjoyed the experience so much that I never looked back, much to the chagrin of my family. Not only did the job fulfill another of my dreams, it gave me more financial freedom. The photog also wanted to get Pam to model with me. We were of the same height, although she had a bigger bust (36D, grrrr!) and flawless white Chinese skin. I tried to convince Pam to give it a try, but she said it wasn't her thing. But the best friend that she is, she always went with me to the photo-shoots, except on the out-of-town ones.
It was after a particularly successful project that gave me a huge bonus that things began to get complicated. To celebrate, Pam and I went to Bora for a weekend. We went bar-hopping and got back to our hotel almost wasted. She beat me to the bathroom so I busied myself fixing up my things then dimming the lights after in preparation for a hectic nights' sleep. She came out with a towel wrapped around her and I rushed inside the bathroom, my bladder bursting. I had a quick shower and coming out of the bathroom I saw Pam sitting on her bed, looking morose and actually crying. That was a first for me, so I immediately got worried. I sat down beside her and coaxed her into telling me what the problem was, and it turned out to be her pre-arranged engagement. With less than a year to go before graduation her parents wanted her and her "fiance" to start going out together in public. She admitted that Benj had been visiting her whenever she went home the past year, and that they've gone out twice recently when I had out-of-town modelling gigs. She said that during that time she's gotten to know him a little more, and that he's not all the geek that she thought him to be.
That bit of news cast a pall over our celebration. I took it for granted that Pam and I would still be together after college, pursuing our careers together, travelling the globe together. Now it seems that we might have to part ways so soon after graduation, and that thought made me burst into tears and we ended up hugging and crying. I didn't know who was more unconsolable then - my friend, who was being forced into a marriage, or me, who was losing her.
Don't get me wrong. Her fiance wasn't that bad. He was four years older than Pam. Benj was even kinda cute, in a nerdy kind of way. But I never imagined the two of them spending time together, much less the rest of their lives. Pam was simply too independent-minded for that, or so I thought. But her admission that she was seeing her fiance more frequently scared me. The possibility of losing her to Benj didn't seem as remote as I once believed. At that moment I experienced a feeling of helplessness I never felt for a very long time.
I guess it was this feeling, combined with the number of drinks I had that night, that made me unprepared and vulnerable to what happened next. One minute we were holding on to each other, comforting one another with promises of not leaving one another no matter what. The next thing I knew Pam was running her hand up and down my back, my towel having slid down to my waist, and feeling her warm breath over my neck. I didn't pay too much attention to it at first, because we always hugged and embraced each other that way. But there's probably a sensor somewhere in your body that tells you whether it's just a casual, friendly hug, or something else. My alarm went off, and it dawned on me that my BFF was actually hitting on me!
She probably felt me stiffen and draw away from her, and that's when she cupped my face and looked straight into my eyes.
"Yna," she said, with a pleading look in her eyes. "Do you really want to be with me forever?"
"Oo naman Pam," I replied. "Di ba that's been our plan all along?"
"I know, and that's what I want too. I wish we can just run away together!"
"Pam, what can we do? I feel so helpless na nga right now."
"Let's make a pledge now Yna. No matter what happens, we'll be together."
"Yes! Ok ako diyan Pam!"
She hesitated, as if trying to choose her words carefully.
"Yna, this means we have to take our relationship one stage further... ," she continued, her words trailing softly.
