Yellowstone

The warmth from outside was felt in here, in the lounge. I was sitting at one of the tables, waiting for my drink to arrive. There were several tables and the bar itself was small. The tables were quite spread out, but the bar itself was crowded, even without customers. I think there was only one person at the bar. A couple was sitting at a nearby table, quietly making conversation with themselves.

Just then a woman approached the bar. She was wearing shorts and a short sleeved shirt. She looked as if she had been outside for a long time. She was dirty, sweaty, her skin glistening. Then she just passed out, and her body poured onto the floor. She lay on the floor while a couple of people, probably her party, came to her aid. The bartender picked up his phone at the bar and made a call.

The whole time I didn't move. I just watched the scene as if it were from a movie. And I was still waiting for my drink.

An attractive woman, I'd say her hair was reddish brown, walked into the bar area. She had a nice, slender figure, and her legs were as white as chalk, not surprisingly since she rarely wore shorts. Her mouth about hit the floor when she saw all of the people around the fallen woman. Then she came over towards me and sat at a table, by herself.

At this point, the bartender brought me my drink—I think it was a rum and Coke. The woman who just sat down saw this, and she smiled at me as if to say, you sure are enjoying yourself in all of this confusion. To be honest, I was, but I would have been much happier had the woman not passed out. It wasn't exactly noisy in the seating area, but there was a low murmur that was a little unsettling.

The trip up here was a good one, uneventful but good. We had stopped at a couple of different hotels. The first one was a casino in West Wendover, Nevada, which is on the Nevada-Utah border. We got there late at night, in fact. We left the casino hotel after lunch, and then we spent a few hours in Salt Lake City and afterwards headed north.

We spent a day and a night at a hotel in Idaho Falls. I liked this place. The room wasn't nearly as nice as the one at the casino, but this place had a great indoor pool. That's the best of America, an indoor pool in the middle of nowhere.

It also had a small gym enclosed with glass walls. I worked out and watched the families in that huge indoor pool. I would have been in the pool, but my girlfriend forgot her bathing suit, as usual. When I got back up to the room, she was watching tv, mad at me because I had left her alone in a small hotel room...

The rum and Coke was delicious. I felt that I should be enjoying myself now, and that made me happy. Other people would certainly think I was enjoying myself, if they bothered to notice me, and that made me happier still.

I could tell she wasn't too terribly mad at me as she was happily looking at postcards and other knick knacks that she had just purchased from the gift shop immediately next to the lounge, but I still didn't want to think about her right now. I was on vacation regardless of how she felt.

I had a great view of the fireplace, a two-sided, free-standing number in the center of the building. A large cylindrical copper hood graced it, and the stone ran the length of the flue all the way to the ceiling. The ceiling was vaulted and, directly above the fireplace, very high. In front of this side of the fireplace were a leather sofa and two large leather chairs. And even on a day like today, there was a fire. The lady who had collapsed had collapsed near the fireplace, and I watched as she was now taken away by paramedics, and at the same time, I wished I were sitting over by the fire.

Tonight we were planning on eating at the restaurant here, in this building. It was a fancy place to eat. But now, for lunch, I was going to get a hamburger in the building that housed the cheap food and the cheap touristy stuff, basically a convenience store with an old-fashioned burger place in the middle.

"Do you want to get lunch? I'm starving," I said.

She said no, not yet. There was one more thing she needed to buy. I could go eat now if I wanted to.

I wanted to. So I headed outside and towards the other buildings, which bordered the parking lot.

I smelled dust, asphalt, and hot pine resin, and I liked it. I would have liked sitting out in the parking lot for a while, but I kept going because I was hungry. I walked past a wooden building that was shaded. The shade was the color of night but, I could still see people playing basketball inside. The sign on the building stated that it was for park workers only. I took a few steps through a large barn-like opening. Those I saw playing were young and happy and wet with perspiration. Behind the basketball court was a bench and some barbells and dumbbells. I wanted to use the equipment, but I told myself that maybe it was better thinking about it than actually doing it. After all, I was on vacation.

I was sitting at the counter of the hamburger stand, waiting for my hamburger, when I saw another woman fall to the ground. She was across from me. She looked into my eyes and put her hand out, and all I could do was stare. I wanted to help this woman but I was frozen.

Someone yelled is there a doctor here? People couldn't use their phones because of where we were, in a giant, hilly forest. I yelled there's a phone in the bar and pointed, and someone ran over there. I wasn't about to leave—I was too hungry. Besides, there were so many people in here. One of them could easily do it.

I got my burger. It was as good as could be expected. Just then my girlfriend showed up. She asked what all the fuss was about.

"Another one hit the deck," I said in a low voice. "They can't take it."

She showed concern for about thirty seconds, said that she needed something to drink, a surprise given that she hates drinking anything besides coffee and alcohol, and then went shopping in this giant tourists' shop. That was fine with me.

I didn't want to stuff myself. I wanted to leave room for tonight. And I wanted to get back outside. I figured that it would be around seventy degrees tonight, maybe more, but that that would feel cool since I was acclimated to the heat. I was finished eating, just drinking ice water now, sitting on a stool at the counter, waiting for her to come over with a big paper bag full of stuff for me to carry.

We still hadn't seen the room here at Canyon Lodge. I'm sure it would be a let down, for several reasons. The room at Old Faithful Inn was incredible, as was the Inn itself. I wish we could have stayed there another night, but I was impressed by this fireplace too, so I was contented.

I had been planning this trip for a while, and all that ruminating and yearning is part of what had made it so good. I had already been here a hundred times, when I was at the gym in Pacific Grove, when I was driving on a sunny day, when I was sitting down to watch a movie at home, every time the thought of Yellowstone putting a smile on my face. In my head, I wasn't there—I was here. Now I'm here, really, and I am so happy because my wishes have all come true. This trip marks the end of a chapter of my life, a happy ending for once.

We drove to the cabin. The road, no more than a dirt path, was surprisingly rough, not even safe to drive on. The potholes, or rather dirt holes, were so deep that one of them could seriously damage my sports car. I was miffed to say the least. I didn't expect such a terrible road in such a popular tourist attraction. Oh well, you can't expect too much from the government.

But we were truly in nature out here. Our cabin was one of many spread out far behind the main lodge. I unlocked the cabin door and my girlfriend walked in. I didn't like the looks of the place. It was more of a cheap motel room than it was a rustic cabin, and the exterior had a thick coat of paint, so it reminded me of a shed my family had when I was growing up. I couldn't believe how much I was paying for this room. Thankfully, we were staying here for only one night.

I brought all of my bags in. Gloria had taken over the bathroom, and I was disgusted by the room and still upset about the road.

"I'm going for a walk," I said.

She said okay. I couldn't tell whether she cared that I was leaving, and I didn't care anyway.

I walked down the road, to see what was down that way. The trees here were so large and thick that almost every square inch was shaded, a dark blanket from the summer day. How ironic it was, because I came here for both big trees and a strong sun.

I walked pretty far and I was seeing more of the same, "cabins" and cars and trees. Everybody seemed happy, and I wondered how long some of these people had been here, for they seemed quite settled in.

I turned around and headed straight for the main buildings, where I was less than an hour ago. I was heading for the restaurant and lounge building that I had been in. I picked up the pace now.

And soon, I came upon what I was hoping to find, a short cut—in this case, a narrow dirt walking path. This path branched off from the road and headed up a hill. The terrain was uneven. But the path itself took a straight shot to the buildings, even giving a view of the backs of the structures.

Although the path was bumpy and sometimes hard to see and the behind the scenes tour was not a pretty one, this part wasn't as bad as it sounds. I knew thousands of people had taken this same route, so it sort of bonded me with them and the history of the park. We were camping, I guess. This was roughing it, having a slipshod "cabin" and taking a functional path. I guess it's what I came here for.

I was relieved to see the buildings. I rushed to the doors of the restaurant and walked by that fireplace and found the men's bathroom in a corridor that barely separated the restaurant dining area from the bar and lounge area. The bathroom was made for one man at a time, but thankfully I found the door unlocked and the room empty. Afterwards I washed my hands and straightened up my hair and dried my hands.

I was still looking in a small mirror when I realized that I looked disheveled. I hadn't looked in a mirror since this morning when I was leaving the motel that had that great indoor recreation area. I rinsed my face off, and straightened my loose clothes, shorts and a t shirt, my tennis shoes covered with dust. I left in a hurry, walking so fast past the dining area that I didn't stop to look around. Out the big double doors I went, and out in the sunshine again, I was feeling less self conscious. After all, this is a vast wilderness, not a cotillion.

There were five buildings, the restaurant and lounge complex which contained a fancy visitors' shop inside, the registration office, a small post office, the visitor education building, and two small buildings devoted to snacks, drinks, and convenience shopping. I walked by all of these buildings a couple of times because it was sunny here. I admired even the parking lot, the asphalt reflecting some of the sunlight my way.

The light made me squint, and I closed my eyes and looked up and felt the warmth of my face. It was then that I decided I needed a nap at some point. I just wasn't running on all cylinders. I figured that I could stop and sit on a bench, so I did.

I was glad that I had my wallet on me because I wanted some coffee. I left the uncomfortable comfort of the bench and visited the small convenience store, in the cluster of buildings. For a couple of bucks, I bought a cup of hot coffee.

After sipping some of the black stuff, I started gulping it down. I was heading home now, and I needed a shower, a hot shower, and I'd better have hot water. I felt like getting cleaned up and dressed up.

I finally got smart. I decided to walk the road to my cabin, in order that I could memorize the layout of the automobile-wrenching craters. Subconsciously I stockpiled the information, big holes and small ones. I was even having fun with it, with the game. You know, you can make anything into a game, or perhaps that everything is already a game and you just have to realize it.

There it was, home sweet home. I opened the door—She was wearing a towel and she had dirty, oily hair—and I could sniff her puss from here.

She knew I was attracted to her, so she had me there. But she knew I could easily attract another woman, so we were tied. We were both the jealous type. It always felt like we were cheating on each other, and it made it hot.

"Aren't you going to start getting ready?" she asked innocently.

"Yes." I said, "After I fuck your stinky parts."

She tried to slap me, but I got the towel off of her anyway. I started manhandling her, and she insisted I close the only window in that little hut. She didn't want the neighbors to hear us. Rich. We didn't even know the goddamned neighbors. I got tired of hearing her wail on about it, and I didn't want to hear her crying when I was trying to concentrate, so I finally shut the window. Then I told her to not say another word. From then on, all I heard was her moaning in pleasure and pain, and in pleasure.

Any room starts to look good when you're fucking in it. I guess that's why people willingly stay in dumpy motel rooms—it'll look good after a good fucking.

We had the shades drawn, and there was no air conditioning in the room, did I mention that? It was a sauna in there. I didn't think she was going to make it. There was more of her sweat on me than there was mine.

We were upright, her ass on the writing desk. I could see the top of her head, you know, her hair, and her ears, and then her shoulders and tits and the rest of her body. She was so close to me that I couldn't see her face, because I'm that much taller than she is. I imagined for a minute that I was fucking some woman I had just met, and in a way, I was, because this was the best damn sex we had ever had up to this point. This was a new woman, and I liked this slut better than the stuck up one that was replaced.

She really smelled now—it was like having her vagina blown in my face—and it turned me on and turned me onto her. I didn't want this ride to end. Please don't tell me this will end and go away and I won't have this woman again, because I like this new toy I found. She's my new toy and I want to play with her a lot. I want to dress her up in bikinis and panties and nightgowns and maybe even nice dresses. Let's play house, Dear.

After all that, I fell in love with her again, if you couldn't tell. She rests for a moment and then she says, "I'm taking a shower." She hopped up and got in the bathroom, consequently leaving me to fall over into bed and to pass out asleep, by myself.

I was so relieved to get some rest that I didn't care for a while. Then I cared. I woke up and asked myself, Was I there for her, or was I there for us? For her benefit or for our benefit?

I was so dirty I was getting the sheets dirty, but I didn't want to move. I had to move. She started in with the hairdryer, that invention most hated by men. This wasn't a cabin, of course. If it had been, it wasn't now.

She said something shitty, and I struggled out of bed. She looked at my penis and said that he did a good job. So, I asked myself, was I there because I needed to be there, or was I there so that my penis could be there?

In all fairness, she didn't want to come along on this vacation. I'm the outdoorsy type. She's the stay in bed and read a book type. That said, I think she was really enjoying this trip, or at least I was enjoying it so much that it didn't matter if she did.

More good news—there was hot water left, after all. Forget the goddam drought, I'm taking a shower until I get bored in here. This was the swimming pool and hot tub combined, because this place had none of that.

Shit, I forgot to open the window, I said out loud. She heard me and tried to open it, but she wasn't strong enough to open it.

"You'll have to do it, macho man," she said.

"Come over here and wash my back like a good girl," I said, or rather demanded.

I stuck my back out and she lathered it up. I think she liked to wash my back. When she did, she always commented on my muscles, as back then, I did more chin ups than anyone I had ever met—my back should have looked like something. And when she was finished washing my back and shoulders and my butt, she always reached around with those delicate fingers of hers and washed my dick, just like a good girl should.

It felt good to be pampered for a change. I did all the driving and decision making on this trip. I did most of the work when we had sex. She was too shy to get on top of me, or too lazy. I don't know which. I was going for a long hike tomorrow, and I didn't care what she thought. I knew she wouldn't go with me. She was one of those people who drove around and around in a parking lot until they got a really close spot.

The shower felt so good that I didn't want to get out, so I didn't get out. Instead, I thought about what I was going to wear. It would start cooling off fast, and seventy degrees would feel pretty cold.

I knew what I was going to wear by the time I was drying off from my shower. I had a new pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt from Banana Republic that looked dressy but also fun. Thankfully, I also brought my favorite leather jacket, which still looked newish, to keep me warm.

I got out of the army on October 31st, 1993. I went to the mall in Monterey that night. I was wearing only a t-shirt and jeans, and it was cold and damp out. I went into Wilson's Leather and saw the coat right away.

It was a heavy brown leather coat with a little bit of green trim. I think the size was XXL. I checked the price and sure enough it was the most expensive coat in the store. To top it off, all the prices were sky high because it was winter, but I was too stupid to think about that part. A guy I knew from the army was working there, and he too had just recently gotten out. I talked to him, and I was too stupid to try to get a discount from him. I paid full price for the coat—something like $400. That was a ton of money back then.

I put my new coat on and went to my girlfriend's condo, which also happened to be where I was going to live. I had some marijuana with me. I had never smoked it before, so Halloween 1993 was my first time. We had sex on it, and I was so happy and so glad to be out of the goddam army, and I kept forgetting who the woman was because I was so stoned.

That was a good girlfriend. She was a nurse and she liked to fuck a lot and she was really nice and easy to get along with. She just went along with whatever I said, most of the time.

My girlfriend, the one I have now, was ready. She looked good, but her dress was a weird pattern. I thought the dress was kind of a downer, if you ask me. I'm the one who has to look at her clothes, so why don't I get to pick them out? How screwed up the world really is.

We drove to the restaurant. It was about two tenths of a mile, not far, but I had to navigate around about a hundred giant potholes in the road. I got through the minefield intact and parked my car on the parking lot up above where I had parked a few hours ago, a solid, level asphalt parking lot with no structural deficiencies. This part of the Canyon Lodge area was nice like the rest of the park. The buildings there were all in very good condition, and the restaurant was downright fancy.

We entered through the double doors, and after reserving a table, we sat in front of the fireplace. Sitting here was the best part of the trip. The fireplace was magnificent and we were cozy and toasty here. Some strangers were sitting near us, looking into the fire. But I was more concerned with the fireplace itself, for it was massive and the brass outside made it look machine like. We could see through the fire and into the restaurant, and I watched fine people eat at their leisure, a cadre of actors and actresses in a slow, quiet play.