++++++++++
"What's
his
deal?" Eddie asked from behind the bar. He gave a suspicious nod toward the man seating himself at the table in the far corner.
"He's harmless, Eddie. Just leave him be," Lily replied, not even looking up to see who he was talking about. She tried to act nonchalant, hoping he'd drop the subject but suspecting he wouldn't.
Eddie could be a pompous blowhard when sober and an insufferable jackass with even a little bit of alcohol in him. The latter seemed to be the case most of the time, though, and even tonight, she'd noticed him imbibing while on the clock.
Unfortunately, keeping Eddie on staff was a stipulation Doc insisted on before gifting the bar to her. He had others, tooâ'provisos' he called themâprovisions that would have seemed strange if they'd come from anyone else.
No advertisingâNo decorating for holidaysâNo televisionsâNo karaoke
(or any music, for that matter, besides the jukebox, but even that could only be used by customers if the bar was open). But this provisoâseemingly the most benign of them allâconfounded her the most.
"He has no people-skills, Doc," she argued. "And he isn't just awkward, either. I could work with that. He's downright rude sometimes and not only to me but to the customers! Please, cut me some slack on this. I've agreed to everything else!"
"Non-negotiable," was his staunch reply.
Normally, Lily was a tenacious optimist, always looking for and finding the good in people. But Eddie was a tough case even for herâa really tough caseâand under any other management, he wouldn't have lasted half this long. But she intended to keep her word, not only because Doc still liked to drop in every once in a while, but because it was the right thing to do.
"This place can't afford customers hogging tables all night, Lily. I'm going to go take care of this." Eddie threw a towel onto the bar and puffed out his chest as if he was about to bounce the man out of the place.
"Whoa, whoa whoa! Hold on there just a minute! If there's anything this place can't afford, Eddie, its employees drinking the profits. And I already told you to leave him be. That's not how we do things here and you should know that by now. Not to mention, he's one of my regulars."
"That doesn't mean he can..."
"Aww," she interrupted quickly with an insincerely sweet tone. "You thought I was asking for your opinion, didn't you? That would explain why we're still talking about this, wouldn't it?" Her words dripped with sarcasm. Then, just as quickly, she ditched the fake sweetness in her voice. "I'm not asking,
Edward."
"Fine...But so help me, if he's still here at closing time..."
"Dammit, Eddie!" she snapped, reaching the limit of tolerating his incessant posturing. "He
will
still be here and you already know it. And you will still leave him alone! Just like you'll do when he shows up next Friday and the Friday after that and the Friday after that! Got it? Good!"
He was never going to winâeven if she wasn't his boss. The only thing he was actually succeeding at was pissing her off.
"Well...I guess I can give him a pass. This place is half-dead anyway."
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever you have to tell yourself."
"For the record, Lily, there's nothing worse than a half-dead bar, especially on a Friday night. I don't know how this place stays open."
"Listen, Mister Know-it-all. I know what Doc built here and money was never the pointâor even big crowds. We're here for those souls who
do
show upâno matter who or how many of them there are or how many drinks they buy. And in case you didn't notice, we're still here, you haven't missed a paycheck and we're doing just fine. So, we're not a typical barâI'm
glad
we're not. Have you still not figured anything out?" She paused to gauge his reaction. It was blank.
"Well, either way, you need to get on board. I agreed to keep you on for no other reason than Doc made me. But you're under no obligation to stay if you're as miserable as you make it sound. You can leave any time you want and I certainly won't stop you. Now would you mind too terribly much doing your job and getting this paying customer his drinks? Or would you rather whine some more?"
"Damn,
Lily. You're like the annoying big sister I never wanted." He stuck his tongue out at her. "By the way, he hasn't ordered yet so I
can't
make his drinks, now can I? Hell, you haven't even gone over there yet."
"Seriously, Eddie? How long has Doc been training you? And you still don't pay attention to your customers? Not even the regulars?!"
He had no answer. Sure, he knew this guy was a regular. He'd been coming in every Friday night since before he'd started working at Doc's Place. But the truth was, he knew next to nothing about the man. All he knew was that he sat at that same table every Friday night and then camped there for way too long. Oh, and he was
weird
âlike most of the other folks who came here. Then again, if it weren't for the
weird
customers, this place might not have any at all.
"Do you at least know
one
of the drinks he always gets?"
Again, silenceâbut this time coupled with a strained expression on his face. He was trying to preserve some measure of dignity by recalling even one of the drinks. Instead, he just looked an uncomfortable kind of constipatedâlosing even more dignity in Lily's eyes.
"Wow, Eddie. Just wow." She seemed surprised and, at the same time, not surprised at all. "Red..." she coaxed.
"Red wine!" he interrupted her abruptly, as if it had been on the tip of his tongue already.
"And a Fu..."
"Funky Monkey," again, he interrupted quicklyâ
too
quickly, this time.
"No!"
she said sharply. "A red wine, a
Fuzzy Navel,
and a water."
She waited while he made the drinks for her. At least he'd paid attention to Doc about
that
part of the jobâ'consistent pours' had been drilled into his head and she'd never heard even a single complaint about his drinks. It was only the 'everything else' about Eddie that drove her nuts. She shook her head in frustration and wondered what Doc saw in him.
"For the record, Eddie,
you're