Twins 32

It's a long story, breaking this into two was a consideration, but I leave it to you the reader to decide if I got it right. It sits in Romance because my editor says it belongs here, left to me I would have put it in Novella. My thanks go to SouthPacific for keeping me honest. As always I'm to blame if you find something wrong with the storyline.

*******

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" A question that gets asked by the majority of parents to a child and, as I recount my story to you, I often wondered if the path that lay before me was the one intended for me all along.

College was a given; web design was what I thought of as my first passion. But, of course, that was before I met Stacey and Karen. It wasn't my intention to meet them; hell, the twins' reputation preceded them. Don't get me wrong: they were smart and fit, not only physically, since they were both track stars at our college, but damned good-looking, and both of those characteristics were a torch for all the jocks, the pretty boys and trust fund babies.

I'm almost sure the queue went around the sophomore dorm first, and then the second year it was the sorority house. I was just so glad that our circles didn't clash. Isn't it funny when you think stuff like that, because you just know that the universe has its own plans for you. And, as the cards fall, you have just got to wonder what sick bastard would orchestrate all this.

*******

A friend of mine asked if I would like to earn some extra cash. When my eyebrow went up, he spent the next couple of minutes telling me that it was all above board. Tutoring, he said; he even made it sound like fun.

"Mind you, I would stick to math; your English sucks. I mean, who even understands that Georgia accent except you?"

It seems I perfected the art of rolling one of my magazines into a tight roll so quickly that I managed to get in two good hits before he made it out of my room. Yet the idea seemed to stick, so much so that getting any of my own work done just came to a screeching halt. So I took it to one of my professors and double-checked with him. He read the notice I planed to put on one of the information boards. All I was asking for was his signature next to it so that any student reading it would know it was legit.

My radar should have gone off when he smiled and said he would help with my first two students. I guess it (my radar, that is) was having an off day; either that, or I trusted him way too much.

Since it was warm out I had arranged with my professor to point my first two victims at the benches by the sophomore dorms the next day. Word came back via my professor that they both couldn't make it, so it was going to be one to one. I actually thought the Gods were smiling on me, since one to one would be a good start to my career of tutoring.

I got there ten minutes before the agreed time and left an hour later, with my own work completed and my opinion of tutoring now being a thing of memory. It was nine in the evening when I got a knock on the door to my room and found one of the students outside, holding an envelope in his hand. I was patient enough to wait until I closed the door before opening the envelope, and some money dropped out.

The note read: "Tutoring for two. Sorry that neither of us could make it."

Adding my own note to the cash I stashed back into the envelope, I went into the admin building the next morning and had the nice lady place the note into my professor's in-tray so he could send it on. That note read: "Can't take your money when I've not earned it. Please look for another tutor since this one has retired."

Next thing on my list was to slap my friend for even suggesting it in the first place. The next day Professor Marshall held me back when the class was dismissed.

"You have to know those two students still need tutoring; put yesterday down as a communication error, Andy." He slid my envelope back across to me.

I watched it for a moment and wondered why I was bothering to do even that. This time I listened to my instinct and declined. We talked some more, with my professor telling me that both students could learn from my helping them but, feeling that my decision was the right one, I declined and left.

My study period saw me outside, sitting under a tree for shade while I read. A thud made me jump, and I looked up to see that a pink shoulder bag had hit the grass two feet away. An identical bag hit the dirt on my other side, my startled gaze meeting that of one of the twins as she and her sister slid to the ground beside me.

"Hi! I'm Stacey and that's Karen; we are the victims you are tutoring."

My friend got an upgrade. I wasn't going to slap him for suggesting this. I was going to kill him, and I knew exactly where to hide his broken body when I was done with him.

*******

The pause was only so I could draw breath. As I looked at Stacey she just smiled back. That silent moment continued, inasmuch as I didn't want it to, because my body had that flutter. I wish I could explain it better; it's as though my stomach flipped. I was sitting the closest to the twins I had ever been in all the time I'd been here, and all my mind could do was to put my brain into neutral.

Just then another thud could be heard as Martin Sorenson, one of our middle linebackers, dropped his impressive bulk onto the grass next to Karen.

"Hey, ladies! Why are you sitting with the dweeb?"

It was only when Stacey turned her attention to Martin that my own mind dropped into gear once again.

"He's our math tutor, Martin. We would have asked you to tutor us, but your math skills only go as far as last week's football score."

Wow! What a put-down, and I didn't even get a chance to open my mouth! I have to say in Martin's defense, though, he sure rolled with the punches.

"32-17. An impressive score, and I played rather well that day, even if I say so myself."

"You just did, Martin." Karen smiled when she said it, so even I wasn't sure if she was taking a dig at him.

Getting the impression that he wasn't helping himself, he got up and looked at me when he did. "Look after my girls, dweeb."

I watched as Martin made it a good five paces away before Karen called out to him. When he turned, she had a tape measure in her hand. I swear I didn't know where she got it from. Four inches of the tape could be seen between her fingers. "We're just friends, Martin: remember that." She made a polite coughing noise, and tilted her head in my direction as she did. She added eight inches to the space between her fingers. "We found out last night he is the one with the benefits."

He went crimson and clutched his shoulder bag a lot more tightly than needed, before he smirked and walked away. Now I had both of them staring at me again and, impressed as I was at how they handled themselves, I still wasn't interested.

"Great - just great! You piss off a Neanderthal and I'm left with the fallout."

"Well, explain men to me. Why do they have to stand there and compare dick sizes?"

Feeling the rush of blood to my cheeks, I took the coward's way out. "Karen, this is math 101, not biology X cert."

Now that's the trouble with twins. While one pauses to consider her options, the other one gets involved.

"So, ARE you going to tutor us? Professor Marshall said you were having second thoughts."

Stacey placed her hand over mine in an effort to gently push me towards a "yes" and that's when we both lost it. She yelped and moved away from me while shaking her hand at the same time, and my stomach just folded over. Not the most romantic way of saying it, but there it was. Karen quickly looked over at her sister, and then daggers at me. The accusing look was enough for me, so I stood and left them sitting there, knowing that any further conversation would be futile.

*******

My friend came barging into my room the next morning, spotted me at my desk, and sat next to me while helping himself to the now dwindling supply of my mother's homemade cookies.

"Man oh man, the twins! Fuck, you should be thanking me, buddy. Just don't drool over them, OK? It's not your most redeeming feature."

Other than giving him a "what the fuck" look, I stayed quiet as he just kept on. And on. And on.

In the end even I snapped and said, "Dammit, Charlie, the whole tutoring idea was a dud to begin with, and now I have Professor Marshall and the poison twins circling like vultures. The idea was to get through college in one piece, remember. Now my head is on a stick and raised above the parapet for all to see."

Yet, try as I might, Charlie just couldn't see a negative side to being in close proximity to the twins. In the end I took my cookie jar back and agreed to disagree.

The laws of physics say that a college cannot reduce in size, and yet I saw more of the twins over the next week than I had in the whole of the previous year. Part of me also expected retribution from Martin Sorenson or some part of the football team, but nothing.

Being all too familiar with the term "calm before the storm," I watched and waited. The most maddening part was being most on edge while I was in Professor Marshall's class, and after the third week he held me back again.

"Andy, your work's slipping; what's going on?"

For my part I adopted the two-footed shuffle, while trying to figure out the most diplomatic way of saying anything around this man. In the end he sat on the corner of his desk while he waited me out. I couldn't believe it; I'm knocking on the door of twenty-two years old, and was behaving like a kid of ten. In the end even he lost patience with me.

"Sit down, Andy. This is now a 'clear the air' meeting, so make yourself comfortable."

"But, professor, I've got..."

His hand went up first. "You've got nothing but a study period after me, Andy: I checked, so please go ahead. What was it you were going to say to get out of sitting there and listening to me?"

Even a cornered rat gets more maneuvering room than I did that day. The door behind me opened and closed; since the professor didn't say anything to whoever came in, it was clear to me he was expecting someone. Moments later pink shoulder bags dropped to the floor either side of my seat, and the twins were sitting beside me. My stomach got that very funny feeling once again as I looked from one to the other, as well as trying to figure out why, other than smile briefly at me, they turned their attention to the man who sat on the corner of his desk.

"Andy, I would like to introduce you to two very distant cousins of my wife, Trisha; Stacey and Karen Carmichael, who are also known by some as the poison twins."

I'm sure I shrank about three inches deeper into my seat.

"You beat me to the punch when you came to me about tutoring. I was actually going to ask you if you would. As much as I would like to, I can't spare the time bringing their math up to standard, and this is only the start of their second year. They will have flunked out by the end of year three if this continues, Andy, so that's where you come in."

Like a fool, I tried in vain to put up a fight. The twins just sat and smiled at what was said between Professor Marshall and me. Although I never outright told him "no," I sure did my best to.

"Andy, your standard of math is better than some of my most senior students, and mathematics isn't even your major. I pointed the twins at you for a reason. They need to improve at a better rate than they are if they are to succeed in this life, and me standing over them while they do isn't working."

In the end, even Professor Marshall knew he could push only so far. A hand came across and held mine. This time no spark and no stomach flip. I looked at the twin holding my hand. She had the most amazing blue eyes. She felt me tense up and tightened her grip.

"Please, Andy. We don't bite, despite what you may have heard. Nibble a little, maybe, but we would both have to know you a lot better before we do. Would it help if we promise to ask before we nibbled, Andy?"

The other one giggled, and I heard Professor Marshall gave an exasperated sigh, and all the one holding my hand did was move so her arm locked into mine. It was when the other one did the same that the stomach thing happened again. Something weird was sure going on here, and when I turned to look at her she knew it as well.

Standing put distance between me and the twins; pacing was a good excuse for me to stand in the first place. In the end I agreed. Even as I did so, my mind just kept screaming "NO."

"I want double my fee. They may be a matching set, but there are still two of them, and that means double the trouble I'm in with the assholes who look on them as their property."

One of them stood and tried to get in my face while I was in mid-rant.

"We're not property! No-one owns us but us."

"Yeah? Tell THAT to the knuckle-draggers and the pretty boys! Hell, the social hierarchy in this place says I shouldn't even be breathing the same air as babes like you, let alone speaking to either of you."

The second one stood and held onto the arm of her twin as she was about to unload on me. She still looked damned mad when she turned to look at her sister, who just smiled back. It did seem to have a calming effect, and the sister sat back down while the smart one talked.

"So it's agreed? Public places for our studies, and hands off you because you don't want the grief that follows us around?"

A nod of my head was all they got as I grabbed my bag, left class, and walked to the library, trying all the while to figure out what the hell I had let myself in for.

*******

Charlie crashed into my room like a hurricane, grabbing my cookie jar on the way to what seemed to be his seat for the duration of any of his stays at my apartment.

"You do know we're supposed to share out the crap that gets dished out between us geeks, don't you?"

Closing my book was inevitable whenever Charlie wandered in.

I answered the only way I could as well. "What?" Hey: I'm a web design major with a minor in math, not a mind reader or Einstein.

"Your girlfriends are putting the word out that pain follows any man, woman or child that so much as looks at you funny. Poor Gerald had to ask if his glass eye counted as looking at you funny. He got an exemption from your girlfriends on that one."

For some time I moved between finding that amusing and wanting to go out and find the twins. Did they even realize how embarrassing all this sounded?

They were easy to find. You only had to follow the smell of money, hormones and fake girlie laughs at crap jokes. It did surprise me that they were this close to the library, but then I noticed they were sitting at one of the benches, and using the building only as shade from the afternoon sun. One of the poison twins spotted me and nudged the other one. I suppose I was the same in one respect: just how the hell did you tell these two apart?

One of them smiled while the other one just stared. "Hi, I would ask you to join us but, as per your rules, my friends can't be in the same place as you when you're with us. So, can I help you with anything?"

The posers smiled and the other hangers-on waited for the fun to begin. I went to say something, but the silent sister took a step towards me and that's when my stomach did that flip thing again. Her own posture seemed to change as well, as though she had had a light bulb moment of her own.

She held out her hand. "I'm Stacey, just in case you're wondering who is who."

My folks taught me manners, and that's the only reason I took her hand and shook it. The change in her was interesting to see; as for me, my damn stomach just wouldn't stop flipping. I'm not even sure which one of us had the reddest cheeks.

"You can let go of my sister's hand now." There were more giggles from the peanut gallery, but the comment acted like a bucket of cold water on me as Stacey and I hastily broke our handshake, watching each other for a moment longer before I remembered why I was here.

"I need a copy of your free periods so we can sort out tutoring times."

Stacey smiled and nodded before rummaging through her bag. With an "Aha," her hand came out with a card and she went to hand it to me.

"This is my roster of classes and free periods. You can work out everything you need from that."

All I did was stare at it. She moved it towards me a couple of times, but my hands stayed rooted to my sides.

Finally, in a volume that only Stacey and I could hear, I said, "I only need your free periods." My head nodded towards the card in her hand before I continued. "If I take that, well: let's just say that people like me would be accused of stalking you both."

Something flashed across her face; I thought for a moment she was angry at something. Finally she gulped and looked towards her sister, and then towards her fake friends.

"Sorry, guys: we'll catch up with you later. My sister and I have work to do."

A few mumbled, a few moaned, and most glared at me for breaking up the gathering. Stacey watched them all leave before turning to me.

"Here or in the library?"

With a shrug of my shoulders I pointed to the picnic table where Karen was sitting. She moved to sit across from me, and Stacey did the same.

"OK, Andy. Say that again so my sister can hear you this time."

When I did, I was more surprised by the shock on both faces. Both then set about scribbling information onto pieces of paper while I watched them. The smile I got from both as they handed me their study period times caught me off guard. Something about us changed as well and, try as I might, I just couldn't figure out what it was. The way they both treated me from that day on felt more like I was their friend.

Even thinking that much made me laugh inside. After all, these were the poison twins! Once I finished comparing study periods, and all three of us worked out what suited us best, Karen put her hand out.

"Give me your cell."

Feeling more than a little curious I complied. She worked so fast on my phone that I hadn't got a clue what she was doing. Stacey glanced over and nodded, before getting her cell out and holding it in her hand. It rang a few seconds later and then stopped. A few more seconds went by before Karen's did the same. Both then nodded their heads and I got my own cell back.

Karen tried that mean look, and she almost passed it off. "We now know where you live, so mess with us and we'll come hunting."

I felt my neck get warm; it got even warmer when both girls noticed and laughed.

*******

The next few days, and the following weeks, proved insightful to me, accompanied by a sadness that the reputation that followed these two (and which people like myself believed) was so wrong. They had that one-would-start-a-sentence-and-the-other-would-seamlessly-finish-it-off thing down to a fine art, and the more they did it the more I just watched in awe. Their sense of humor left a great deal to be desired, though, such as when Karen turned up and claimed to be Stacey. When I looked at her, waiting for her to smile or admit she was teasing me all along and it never happened, I just started packing up my things.

When she asked where I was going, I told her that since she lied to me I couldn't see the point in the lesson.

"But I AM Stacey! And, anyway, how can you tell us apart, when neither of our parents can?"

Not willing to admit to anything, I said, "Stacey has two more freckles across her nose than you do."

"That's bullshit! We've both counted, and there is the same number." The look on her face as she eventually digested what I had said, and the fact that she even admitted doing such a thing, was a picture. "There is no way you would count every freckle on our faces! That's just stalker territory."