Sandy signaled a lane change, pulled out into the left lane of I-40 West to pass the pickup truck filled with furniture, then pulled back into the right lane.
"Yeah, I thought I was just gonna drive for a couple of years and then have some kids. Funny how things turn out though. We'd been married, let's see, two years and six months when Jerry had a heart attack right there on I-30 between Texarkana and Dallas. If he'd been driving, we'd probably both be dead. Still can't believe how fast that happened. Jerry was only thirty two. He seemed OK one second and the next, just keeled over in the seat.
"When the EMT's got there, Jerry was still breathing, but he'd started to turn blue. They started giving him oxygen and it looked like he was getting better. When they loaded Jerry into their truck, I locked up the rig and got in with them and we headed for the hospital in Rockwall. We must have spent two hours in the emergency room before they moved him to intensive care. They made me sit outside while they worked on him so I didn't know how bad Jerry was at first.
"As they were taking him up to intensive care, this doctor - he looked like he was Chinese. Can you imagine that, a Chinese doctor in the middle of Texas? His name was Wilson and talked like he was from Texas but he was really short and he sure looked like he was Chinese. Anyway, he was frowning when he walked over to where I was sitting and said Jerry had had a heart attack and they were taking him to intensive care but I shouldn't get my hopes up. He said they'd already lost him twice and then brought him back but he didn't think Jerry was going to last the night.
"When I got to intensive care, I was pretty much in shock. I mean, Jerry had been laughing and talking and then he just stopped doing anything. He wasn't doing anything in intensive care either. They had needles in both of Jerry's arms and a bunch of wires taped to his chest that went to a monitor beside the bed. I could see the little blips on the monitor, just like you see on TV, one little blip for each time his heart beat.
"I sat there and held Jerry's hand for the next hour or so. He woke up once, and he smiled at me. He asked what happened, and I told him he'd had a heart attack and he should just rest. Jerry just smiled again and said he thought he was going to be able to rest for a long time now. Just before he drifted off again, he said he loved me. A little later, the alarm on the monitor went off. I looked at it and those little blips weren't there anymore. The doctor tried to bring him back again, but Jerry was gone.
"I called our dispatcher and told him we weren't going to make Dallas and why. He said he was sorry and that he'd send another truck to pick up the trailer and make the delivery. He didn't sound all that sorry on the phone, but he did send flowers to Jerry's funeral, so I guess he was.
"They did an autopsy on Jerry and confirmed he'd had a heart attack but they didn't understand why. They didn't have an answer until all the tests came back. They said it was really unusual, but it had happened before.
"Jerry had gotten a cold a couple of weeks earlier, and he couldn't seem to shake it. He was taking cold pills and using some of that nasal spray to keep his nose open so he could breathe. About a week later his sinuses started hurting him so he was taking sinus pills too. When I got to the hospital, they asked me if he was taking any medications, but I didn't think anything about it, you know, I mean, it's not really medicine, is it? You can buy the stuff at any drugstore or Walmart.
"Dr. Wilson said if Jerry had been like about everybody else, it might not have been such a problem, but Jerry already had low blood pressure and between that and what was in the cold pills, the sinus pills and in the nose spray, his blood vessels got restricted enough it caused a massive heart attack.
"Well, after I got Jerry back home where his mom and dad live and we had the funeral, I had to decide what to do. I never went farther in school than high school, and I was twenty-four. I figured that was too old to go to college or anything like that. Then I got to thinking.
"When Jerry and I got married, he talked me into getting my CDL. He said if we could both drive, we could make more money, and we did."
She laughed.
"At first, it was scary. I mean, driving one of these rigs sometimes feels like you're driving a house down the highway. People don't understand that you can't get going very fast once you stop, and they really, really don't understand that you can't stop a tractor and trailer as fast as they can stop their car. What was so scary is what they do to you. Still is sometimes. They get mad because you're not going very fast so they'll pass you when they really don't have room. Then, they'll cut you off trying to get back into the lane so they don't hit the car in front of them.
"I haven't caused any accidents so far, but I've been in more than I want to remember. Doesn't hurt my truck. That big chrome bumper on the front can take about anything, but it sure tears up a car when they cut me off and I can't stop quick enough.
"After a while, though, I started to like it. I love sitting up higher than everything else. I can see everything for miles ahead of us, not just the back of the car in front of me. It was nice too that I could do what I wanted to do and however I wanted to do it. I worked in a grocery store before we got married, and there was always somebody telling me to do this or do that and how I should stock the shelves. The cashier work, well, I didn't like that at all. You wouldn't believe the kind of people you have to check out. Some of 'em are real jerks.
"Anyway, I owned the truck, and that was the only place I had to live. I called the dispatcher and told him J & S Trucking was still in business and to start sending loads my way. Picked up the first trailer on my own on the fifth of July in '95, and bought this low-boy two years later. That was ten years ago, and I've been driving ever since. Wouldn't change anything for the world."
I asked Sandy if she didn't regret not having a family.
She sighed.
"Yeah, sometimes, but after I'd been on the road by myself for a couple of years, I really liked it. If I'd gotten married again and had kids, I'd have been sitting at home taking care of the kids and wishing I was out driving down the road. That's probably not how you think a woman should think, but it's how I think.
"I don't think about that too much anymore. I still could, I suppose. I'm not too old yet, but I can't imagine going to a high school play or game and having white hair.
"Uh-oh. See that red pickup three cars ahead? He's been trying to change lanes for the last five miles but that blue van won't either pass or slow down to let him. See how he keeps edging over to the left? He's mad and I'll bet he's gonna do something stupid. I'm gonna slow down a little in case he does."
I felt the truck and trailer start to lose speed just as the driver of the pickup hit the gas and pulled out in front of the van. He'd have made it if his back bumper hadn't caught the van's front bumper. The van spun sideways and then headed across the other lane. Sandy pushed the button for the emergency lights, hit the brakes and steered for the right shoulder. By the time she'd gotten the rig stopped, the van was sitting on the left shoulder and pointing in the wrong direction. The pickup was nowhere to be seen. As soon as it hit the van, the driver had straightened it out and floored it.
Sandy reached for the cell phone sitting in a holder on the dash and tapped in 911. After reporting the accident, she grabbed a first-aid kit from behind her seat, got out of the truck and stood there until the traffic slowed down enough it was safe to cross the pavement. I'd joined her by then, and we ran across I-65 to the van.
The young woman in the van was leaning on the steering wheel and crying. I could barely understand her when Sandy asked her if she was hurt. She shook her head, sobbed a couple of times, and then said something about just being scared.