Tiny Tina 1

Please be forewarned. This little romance has minimal sexual activity.

-----

"Hello?"

"Hey, Maria," came her sister's voice through the cell phone.

"Oh, Hi, Sof. What's up? You almost never call me, so it's gotta be something important."

"You smartass!" she laughed, "You could say that, I guess. Well, at least something pretty odd happened a few minutes ago."

"What?"

"I just hung up from talking to a young woman who claims to be related to us."

Maria's heart suddenly started beating a little harder and faster. "Uh, are you sure?"

"Well, I'm sure she called and I'm sure she claimed she's related to us. What I'm not so sure about is if she's actually related."

"What'd she say?"

"She told me she was adopted as an infant in February of 1998. The records were closed apparently by her birthmother. She was still curious about her mother and father and did a genetic test. She said it was through 'Chromosomes and Me'. Ever hear of them?"

"Yeah, I have. How'd they tie her to our family?"

"Uh, I have to confess that I did a genetic search myself three years ago, you know, just for fun. I found out we have a general mix of southern European blood, you know, mainly Spanish. But there's some Central American native blood as well. Kinda like you'd expect."

"So, uh, they were able to tie you to her?"

"They tied her to our family. I don't understand all the details, but apparently she and I share one quarter of our genes."

"Wow."

"So, somehow, somewhere, someone in our family made a baby twenty years ago and she's the result."

Maria's head was pounding with each beat of her heart, her mouth was dry and her hands were shaking. She paused before going on, "Who did she say it was?"

"That's just it. She doesn't know and wants to meet the person. She says she loved her adopted parents but they're gone now. She wants to know her 'genetic roots,' to use her words."

"Uh, what happened to her parents?"

"They're dead, apparently. She said they were pretty old when they adopted her. They tried for years to get pregnant and finally when her mom was forty-five, they gave up and went for adoption. It took them nearly five years to find a baby because most people felt they were 'too old' to adopt."

"And how'd they die?"

"He died of a heart attack when she was in her mid-teens and her mom died a couple of years ago of ovarian cancer. She's all alone and decided to track down her birth family."

"That's so sad. So, she's about twenty and no parents..."

"No family at all. Both her parents were only children. No cousins, no nothing."

"I see. Now they're pretty sure about this?"

"Apparently so. Hey, Mar, do you think it was Dad?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know. Did Dad get someone pregnant and never tell anyone? Did he cheat on Mom?"

Maria's mind raced. She knew it wasn't her dad but she didn't know how to talk about her own very secret past. "I can't see Dad having cheated on Mom, can you?"

"No! Those two have always been so close. They never vacation apart and they've always taken care of the store together. I looked back and it was right after they moved out west. They were so busy getting the new store going, I can't see how he could have knocked someone up, much less why."

"But if it isn't him, then who could it be?"

"Well, it certainly wasn't Mom. I was still living with them and she was never preggers when I was around. And I know it wasn't me!"

Maria knew it wouldn't take her sister long to figure out the truth. Their dad didn't have a child. Maria did.

"Sofia, let's think things over a bit before we go out and accuse Dad of doing it. Maybe I can come over tomorrow afternoon...?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Andy will be gone with the kids to Little League and we can sit down and talk it over."

"Great. I'll see you around two, OK?"

-----

Twenty years before...

Maria's parents were struggling to keep things going with their tiny grocery store. They provided good food at reasonable prices to the surrounding neighborhood but most of the customers were poor and could only purchase the bare minimum. Items with wider profit margins sat on the shelf and in order to compete with the bigger chain stores, her parents had to keep their prices on basics such as milk, eggs and canned goods very low. Instead of earning a reasonable mark-up on these items, they barely made enough to pay the distributor.

Early in her high school senior year, Maria's parents were given a chance to manage a larger and busier store owned by her father's older cousin. He wanted to retire and offered them the chance to work there and to eventually buy him out. They jumped at the chance. Maria was devastated. She wanted to stay at her school and then attend the local community college to work on a paralegal certificate. Since she was an instate resident, it would be inexpensive but to move to the new state, her costs would go up over ten times. After many tears and arguments, her aunt Catharina stepped in and offered to let her move in for the two to three years until Maria finished her training.

With a heavy heart, Maria's parents agreed and Maria moved in with her aunt. She finished out her high school senior year, worked as a barista that summer and started the community college program in the fall while still working parttime. She and her parents insisted on a modest 'rent' to Catharina for food and utility costs. She grew very close to her aunt and even considered her to be a second 'mom' during the time.

In her first quarter at college, she met a charming and handsome fellow student named Miguel. He was in his second year and was taking his last few requirements before transferring to the university to pursue a pre-med degree. The two of them dated casually at first but after Christmas they became closer. By spring they were intimate. Even though he was Maria's first sexual partner, she never thought she had fallen in love with him. At one time she confided to her aunt she had 'fallen seriously in like' with him but she never could tell Catharina that the two were having sex.

Near the end of the spring quarter, it became apparent their relationship was bound to end. He was leaving the community for good and she still had another year of schooling. While they both enjoyed each other and the sex was great, they realized their time together was coming to a close. With Catharina's approval, they took a weekend trip together and spent it mostly in bed, though they did see some of the sights in the area.

After he left and while she was working for the summer, she noted a dramatic change in her appetite and had some morning nausea. She secretly purchased a home pregnancy kit and was dismayed to find it was positive. Maria was never terribly religious but she turned to the local priest in the confessional booth for guidance.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been a few years since I have confessed."

"Tell me, Child, what is on your mind."

"Father, I have been having sex and I'm not married. I like him, I like him a lot, but I'm not sure I'm in love with him."

"And...?"

"I'm, uh, I'm pregnant," she answered before breaking down in tears, "And he moved away before I knew I was pregnant. He's gone off to the university and I'm still here at the JC."

"How far along are you?"

"Not very long. I've missed only one period."

"And the father, does he know?"

"No, Father, I haven't told him. We used, well, I guess I sinned yet again because we used rubbers, you know, condoms."

"Don't worry about the condoms, Child. If you must know the truth, most sexually active parishioners take some precautions. Now, what about the father. Will you tell him?"

"I don't know. He's a nice guy and smart. He has so much to look forward to. He's planning on being a doctor. This could ruin it for him."

"Do your parents know?"

"No! I don't live with them right now. They had to move and I'm staying with my Tia Catharina."

"Have you told her?"

"No, Father. You're the first one I've talked to."

"Do you trust her?"

"Oh, yes, I do. She's great. She's like a mother to me."

"OK, Child, here is what I recommend. You need help. You have a very big burden and you'll need help. Talk to her. See how she can help. You're going to have this child, no question about that. Right?"

"Yes! No question. I would never, uh, you know..."

"Good. Talk to your aunt. Get her support. Then you can decide if you want to keep the baby or maybe let it be adopted by a loving family. This would allow you to move on and finish your schooling."

"Do you know of anyone who would want a baby?"

"Through the church and social services, we sometimes hear of couples desiring to adopt. I can quietly ask around."

"Oh, thank you, Father. You have helped me so much." She went on with the ritual of confession, "This is all I can remember. I am sorry for these and all my sins."

"Now please say the Act of Contrition."

Once she had finished the Act, the priest absolved her of her sins telling her to pray the Rosary ten times and finished with a quiet, personal note, "I sense you are a wise young lady and will choose the right way. Go in peace."

Feeling much better after confession, she sat down with her aunt that evening.

"Catharina, uh, I need to talk with you about something."

"Sure, Maria, what is it?"

"It's pretty important. Could we turn off the TV?"

"Sure. Now you've got my interest. What's up?"

"I'm, uh, I'm..."

"You're what? Don't tell me you're pregnant," she laughed.

When Maria looked at her with a stunned look, Catharina uttered, "Oh, my god. Really? Is that it?"

Maria nodded and Catharina went on, "Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry I made a joke out of it. I had no idea. Are you, are you OK?"

"Yeah, I guess. I talked to Father Tommy this afternoon, you know, in the confessional."

"I had no idea you were such a believer."

"I'm not, at least very much, but he helped me. A lot. I still have a lot more to think about."

"You're not thinking of getting rid..."

"No! No, of course not. But I do have to decide if I keep the baby or go with an adoption. And I have to decide if I tell Miguel."

"The way I see it, you tell him if you keep the baby. He'll need to help support you."

"But that would ruin his future!"

"Well, what about your future and the baby's future?"

"Yeah, you're right."

"If you go with adoption, I guess you could avoid telling him and his life could go on. And once the baby's adopted, your life could go on, too."

"What about Mamma and Papa?"

"What about them? You wouldn't have to tell them, either. This could be our little secret. You have the baby, it goes to a good home and you go on with your life. But with better birth control!"

"Yeah, I think I'd avoid men for a long time. At least until I'm finished with school."

"Look, I'm in your corner. I'll support you all I can. Let's get you to a doctor. My insurance is good and I'm sure you're covered as a family member. And maybe the doctor can help with any adoption ideas."

"Father Tommy said he hears of people wanting to adopt all the time. I can work through him and the church, too."

"Honey, you think about it. Sleep on it. If you're sure about adoption, then we can get started right away."

-----

Over the next few months, Maria worked with the social services arm of the diocese and a somewhat older couple desperately wanting to adopt was identified. Both they and Maria decided to keep things anonymous and they never met. She only knew the vague outline of their situation. They were older, unable to have children and were financially secure.

She was set up with a delightful, younger obstetrician, Dr. Suzanne Phillips, or, as she preferred, Dr. Suzanne. Dr. Suzanne was enthusiastic, reassuring and helpful at all the visits. She provided confidential reports to the adopting parents telling them how well mom and baby were doing. All were pleased when the ultrasound showed a healthy appearing girl.

She continued her work during the summer and resumed classes in the fall, but she was getting too tired to continue part-time work at the same time. A few classmates casually asked about her situation but she was able to deflect the questions easily, mainly by remaining somewhat aloof and keeping away from most everyone.

She exercised lightly, ate the right foods and took her vitamins. She never was a smoker and rarely drank, so it was easy for her to abstain from alcohol. She had heard rubbing lotion on her skin might prevent stretch marks and she faithfully used it every night. Several times she almost tracked Miguel down but realized it would be of no benefit for anyone. She also ignored his few letters until he quit writing.

During the holidays, her parents wanted to see her and offered to pay for a ticket home. She was able to gently turn them down with an excuse she was 'too tired' to make the trip, implying school was the cause.

-----

About four weeks early and on a cold night in early January, Maria's water broke. There was a mad scramble to the hospital where Dr. Suzanne met them. Due to the early delivery, a pediatrician was summoned to check on the baby once she was delivered. Someone also notified the adopting couple who came to the hospital but remained away from the delivery suite.

Catharina had agreed to be Maria's informal doula. She stood by, brought water, wiped the sweat from Maria's face and coached her through the contractions. The delivery went well and a small, six-pound baby was delivered without any particular trouble.

"You have a lovely baby girl," the pediatrician announced. "The Apgar scores, which tell us how healthy she is, are normal. Congrats."

"Thank you, Doctor. Uh, I don't know if you were aware, but she's being adopted."

"Oh, I didn't know. She's a lovely child. Looks perfectly healthy. Has all fingers and toes, as we say. A little birth mark on her left forearm, but otherwise perfect. Would you like to hold her?"

"May I?"

"Of course. Here she is."

Maria nervously held the baby. "You are so cute. Look at you. And so tiny. I'll call you Tiny Tina. You like that name, Sweetheart?" The baby gurgled a little and dropped her head onto Maria's chest.

Maria gently stroked the baby's back and head before bursting into tears. "Oh, God, Sweetheart, I love you so much but I can't, I can't take you home with me. I won't be able to take care of you. There's a nice couple here who will take you to their home and they'll be your mommy and daddy. I'll miss you every day, Tiny Tina, I really will, but this will be the best for you. I love you. Really, I do," she said between tears. She turned to the nursing staff and whispered, "Please take her to her family when the doctor says you can and tell them... tell them to take care of my precious little girl." She handed the tiny, wriggling bundle to the nurse and turned away, sobbing unconsolably in Catharina's arms.

-----

Twenty years later...

That evening Maria's mind was racing. Who could have ever predicted her daughter would be able to track her down? The adoption was closed! But technology threw her a curve ball and now her daughter, whom she had held in her arms for only a few minutes years before, had tracked down the family. Maria knew she'd have to fess up to Sofia. Otherwise, Sofia would think their dad was responsible. And she knew at some point, she would end up meeting her daughter for the first time in twenty years.

Maria was a well-established attorney specializing in family law. After she finished her paralegal course, she found work near where her parents lived. She excelled and after a year or so, her boss proposed she go to law school! Her LSAT scores were superb and her boss helped her to be admitted, even though she'd not completed a four-year college degree. She sailed through law school, passed the bar and joined his practice. Once he retired, she took over and enjoyed her small, thriving practice.

Maria's personal life had been less than ideal. Right after law school, she married another lawyer but they both realized within a year or two they had made a mistake. Their divorce was amicable and they were still friendly with each other when they met at bar association meetings or at the courthouse.

During this entire time, she often thought about her daughter, wondering what she was like and how she was doing. This, of course, made her think occasionally about Miguel, as well. One time she googled him to find he was a dermatologist in a city a few hundred miles from her. From what she could tell, he appeared to be married so she had long before decided never to contact him.

The next afternoon she visited her sister. Sofia greeted her at the door and held out a glass of wine. "Here, I think we'll need this until we figure out what's going on."

"Thanks," replied Maria. "You're right, we'll probably need more than one," she chuckled.

Once they sat down, Sofia told her sister the entire story. She had received an email from "Chromosomes and Me" indicating there was an individual whose testing showed a very close match to Sofia's. They asked if Sofia would be willing to communicate directly with this person. After responding 'Yes', she waited a week or so before a personal email came from the individual. They communicated back and forth a few times with the last email requesting she find out who was the one in her family who was her parent.

"So, that's what you're trying to do now?"

"Yeah. She seems very nice. Polite. Deferential. She's not pushy, she just wants to find her parents. One of them is in this family. I think we'll need to privately pull Dad aside and see what the deal is."

"Uh-huh. I guess. But, Dad? No! No way."

"I agree, but Tina insists the family member is here."

The blood drained from Maria's face. She hesitated a few seconds until Sofia asked, "Are you OK, Mar? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Uh, did you say Tina?"

"Yeah. Her full name is Martina, but she goes by Tina."

"Uh, Sof, I need a refill."

"Mar, you look funny. What's up?" she asked as she filled the wine glasses again.

"I know who's her parent. It's not Dad. It's me," she said in a whisper.

"You? You're shittin' me. You?"

"Umm-hmm. Me."

"But you were never pregnant, were you?"

"Remember when I stayed back with Tia Catharina to go to school? I got pregnant. I was able to keep going to school and Catharina helped me through it all. My daughter was put up for a closed adoption."

"What's that?"

"It's one where the child is never able to find the biological parent. She did, however, but through genetic testing which wasn't even on the radar back then."

"So, you're a mom? Really? Oh, shit! So, all these years you've lived knowing there's your daughter out there. Wow.

"Wait a minute," she went on, "What was it about the name Tina that got to you?"

"I held her in my arms for maybe five or ten minutes, at the most. She was so cute, so tiny, only six pounds. I nicknamed her Tiny Tina and told her she was going to go with another family. Oh, Sof, it was so, so painful to give her up. I sobbed in Catharina's arms when they took Tina away."

"And her real name is Tina."

"How weird is that? They gave her a name and her nickname is exactly what I called her."

"I wonder if they heard?"

"They weren't supposed to know anything about me. Maybe a nurse let it slip, about the name, I mean."

"Tina. Hmm. Hey, wait a minute! I'm an aunt. Tina's my niece!"

"Yep, she is."

"What about the father? Does he know? Is he around?"

"No, he has no idea. I've not spoken to him since way before she was born. We had split even before I knew I was pregnant. I never told him."

"Where is he now?"

"I googled him. He's a dermatologist up in Central City."