"THIS MOMENT, THIS MINUTE"
By Nellskitchen
βͺβͺβͺ.........This moment, this minute
And each second in it
Will leave a glow upon the sky
And as time goes by, it will never die......β« - Sinatra - My Shining Hour
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Introduction
It comes about rarely, but at times, and quite unexpectedly, a commonplace glance converts to a happening. An otherwise unremarkable day addresses a lingering question.
Such is the case for Neil and Janina, who find themselves in the same place and at an event of no particular consequence.
Crossing paths, a not-so-coincidental thing, addresses whether they would ever see one another again; however, it leaves open how each will behave.
Might he be indifferent, as he was on that long-ago night of their breakup? Will she be defensive? Such are two of any number of possibilities.
The pair had parted ways some twenty years before; the final anguishing moments of their drama left both profoundly wounded. Afterward, and despite their sizzling affair, Neil Gate put her out of his mind, erasing memories like a schoolteacher wiping the chalkboard. Rarely thinking of her, Neil never tried to see Janina again.
Janina, not Neil, had made a mistake, so his feelings made sense to the extent these things do. That aside, her view naturally differed. Madly in love, and despite having since married, Janina never quite let go. All this time later, the still slender, fair-skinned, and statuesque Latvian secreted a tiny flame. It filled a more prominent corner of her broken heart than it should have.
Given the state of things when the relationship ended, Neil's attitude was not unwarranted; neither was Janina's, though for starkly different reasons. He was fed up with lying and games. On the other hand, she felt ambushed and perpetually scolded herself for missing the gathering storm brewing in the man she adored.
Most distressing, she never imagined he would shut her out, but he did.
Part 1 - Twenty Years Ago
The light rain added to the murkiness of an already gloomy night. The couple sat quietly together in his car. He knew what was about to happen, she suspected it.
Being together for two years meant she discerned his moods and harmonized with his ups and downs. Janina had beheld his genius, picked apart his mind, and thought she knew everything, but now this.
As the mini-drama played out, so did her fears. Instead of reaching to kiss her goodnight, he stayed quiet and looked away. She sensed he was onto her. Somebody must have told him; it was probably Nysa, but there was no way to be sure.
Conflicting thoughts consumed her. Neil was her life's bright light, but just then, she thanked God for the night. Sometimes, darkness acts as a shield against the inevitable. Perhaps it would keep his penetrating intelligence at bay through the next horrifying minutes during which Fate would decide whether the slowly closing door would seal shut orβΈ»or what?
Neil broke the stifling instant. Speaking softly, he bared his mind. "Somebody has to say it, Janina. I've had enough. We need to be away from this, from each other. I'm getting out."
"'Be away?'" she gasped disingenuously. "You're leaving me?"
She sobbed rather than admit that doing what she did meant throwing away what they had. Terrifyingly, she half-imagined he might say the paralyzing words, 'You did it, I found out, it can't un-happen.'
He was not so direct. Instead, carefully articulating, he added, "It's over, Janina. It's been over; neither of us dared say it until now."
She shook; tears spilled from her eyes. Desperate and too afraid to argue further, she made another mistake. Angrily, she ripped away the diamond necklace he had given her for Christmas. "You won't find someone better!" she screamed. "I've given you everything--all of me--all this time! You won't..."
Choking, she stopped mid-sentence and covered her face with her hands. Neil, unmoved, said nothing as she tossed the glittering keepsake across the short distance between them.
Janina elbowed the car door and escaped the unraveling calamity. Neil, impassive, touched the ignition and drove away.
**
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Part 2 - Twenty Years Later
By some unspoken celestial rule, forgetting is easier for fetching men than for beautiful women. No one dares say why, but men inevitably come upon new, equally beautiful partners who seamlessly fill the void.
Too soon after, Neil found Vittoria--or rather, she found him. A girl from the old neighborhood, the shapely Italian, had grown up a few short blocks away. There, she blossomed into stunning womanhood. Though never admitting it, Vittoria secretly had eyes for Neil as early as grade school.
Typically male, Neil knew nothing of Vittoria's abiding interest; he only met her after his breakup with Janina. An FBI Special Agent, Vittoria Casella, was not only beautiful; she was younger than Janina by two years. To Janina's mortification, the new couple came together at just the right time in time--for Vittoria, who explained it as a woman's coincidence, which, to anyone of reasonable intelligence, is no coincidence at all.
Upon learning of the last act of the Neil-Janina love affair, Vittoria moved quickly. With olive skin, bountiful breasts, and chestnut hair, she enticed this man of her dreams--of Janina's dreams!
Each woman had strengths. A force of nature, Vittoria's mental quickness contrasted with Janina's subtlety and thinly-veiled determination. Vittoria's resolve took the budding couple to the altar mere months after their they first had sex, which happened to have happened mere moments into their first date!
Was it happenstance? Beyond gossipy speculation, only Vittoria knew, and she has never said.
To complicate matters, theirs is a small town, and in small towns, everybody thinks they know everything about everybody. Amid that whispery backdrop, the sidelined and powerless Janina stood by as Vittoria, an upstart trespasser, took her place.
With her emotions in shambles, the cast-aside Janina self-defensively escaped the newly married couple's oppressive bliss. She moved to Europe. There, she endured ten unhappy years of relationship wilderness before marrying the impersonal Faruk, a Turk with whom she has a beautiful daughter.
Amid marriage and a charmed life overlooking the Bosporus, figments of Neil stalked her. Not only did Janina imagine seeing her ex again, she imagined it all the time. A fantasy playing in her head; it was a looping rerun, a reality show absent reality. Might it turn real?
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Part 3 - Twin Sister from Hell -
Janina had never been friendly with Neil's sister, the hateful Nysa.
Nysa reviled Neil. Whenever she could, Nysa lashed out at her brother. She undermined his relationships and did whatever it took to bring him grief.
The siblings' contrary association derived from Nysa's unhappy childhood and her overshadowing brother's perceived indifference to her chronic bitchiness. Due to this, Neil kept his fraternal twin at arm's length.
Despite the family friction, Janina kept in touch with Nysa. She had her reasons. Through Nysa, Janina kept track of Neil, resulting in an accurate sketch of her one-time lover's life with Vittoria. Janina saw her opportunity through Nysa.