It must have been louder than she thought for the guy next to her stirred, then turned his head quickly toward her.
"Are you Okay?" he asked with sleepy concern in his voice.
Without looking at him, she nodded not trusting her voice. He turned back. Her eyes widened, she knew that voice. Suddenly it all came back in a flash. She had gone out with a "new" employee. She made another noise, this one a snort.
Her husband looked back over his shoulder and asked, "Is something the matter?"
She looked at him, smiled and said, "Not now."
He looked puzzled, but just rolled back and probably went back to sleep. He must have been partially awake to respond so fast. More of what happened last night came to mind. They had a good dinner and talk. He got a bottle of Champagne and she had at least four glasses there, maybe more later, no wonder she was a so foggy this morning, but now she didn't mind.
Now though she knew what had happened that day. She had gone to the hospital like usual. Things seemed to be improving; maybe she was finally starting to get over losing Jimmy. She felt a little better this morning, like she knew it was going to be a good day, yesterday she had chuckled at a joke someone else had told. She still missed him though, it was like he had died, obviously he hadn't but it felt that way.
She had thought about what had inspired her to want that separation which turned out to be a bad mistake. It was many things she had decided. Part of it had been her anger at him for not taking care of his health; he was a nurse he should know better. He just kept gaining weight. There were other things that had gotten her so angry at him. He had forgotten a couple of important engagements and then even though apologizing profusely, he didn't seem to think his forgetting them was so bad. And work hadn't been going so good either. All that and more had contributed to her being frustrated and angry, more than usual. Plus her PMS had been worse than usual the last couple of months before she came up with the idea for the separation. She had always looked down on women who blamed PMS for their behavior but there were some months where she did act more like a bitch. Maybe she should take those PMS vitamins some of her coworkers said helped them. It would be too late for her and Jimmy's relationship but her PMS had been a small part of it anyway. She of course, had taken out her frustration on him. She sighed as she thought that it had been very unfair of her to do that. He hadn't helped the situation any but most of it fell on her.
As she sat down in her chair, she wondered if she would have that package, she was dreading when she got home. Babs had been expecting divorce papers any day. The way he had felt at the end, and she couldn't blame him for feeling that way, she thought "he would get the divorce going as soon as possible." She wouldn't fight it even though she wanted to. That wasn't like her, she always fought for something she wanted if need be but he deserved a better wife, someone who would be more easy going. That thought brought up another reason she had said no to all attempts to date her, in the past two months. She didn't want anyone else, not even Jon or Tony, she wanted Jimmy. But she had driven him away. She shook her head, not being sure why she had gone wild with dating like that. She had thought about that a lot, part of it was that she had been free from some of her frustration and guilt about how she was treating Jimmy, all the yelling and put downs, but a large part of it had been that she was running from herself. Very soon, after the decision she had known deep down it had been the wrong one, but she hadn't wanted to admit it to herself so she ran. It wasn't the first time she had done that. She didn't like being wrong and sometimes would go to great lengths not to admit it. And she had to admit that going out on all those, dates had been fun plus it fed her ego that so many men wanted to date her even after being married for a while. God, she had blown it so badly.
Just then, her thinking was interrupted by her boss's voice. She was almost as loud as Babs so much of the time Babs could hear her through the door. This time she seemed to be talking about a new employee, introducing him to some of the office staff. "Probably a replacement for Jimmy" she thought since he most likely would not be coming back when his sabbatical was over. A minute later, she heard Tiffany ask the new guy if he wanted the address he had given her as his primary address. She seemed surprised that he would.
Babs couldn't hear the answer but a minute later, she did hear her boss speak louder as she asked Babs to come out to the hallway. She did but as she went through the door, she wondered what this new guy looked like, for she had heard exclamations from a couple of the female staffers. "He must be a bodybuilder or some such by the tone of the voices" she thought. The only person out there though, was Tiffany. She was older than Babs and "a little on the plain side but had a good athletic figure" Babs thought.
She motioned Babs over to her and said that once he was back from being introduced to some of the staff she would introduce the "new" employee to her. Babs could hear the quote marks around the word "New" and wondered about it. Tiffany went on to say that, she wanted Babs to show the guy around the hospital. Babs almost protested for that wasn't her job but she didn't feel like expending the energy.
Tiffany said, "While we are waiting for him to come back. We need to talk. How are you?"
Babs shrugged and said, "Okay."
Her friend and boss looked at her as if to say "yeah and if I believe that, then you have a bridge to sell me."
Instead, she asked, "Gone out on any good dates lately?"
Babs looked at her with an incredulous expression on her face.
She said, "I haven't gone out on a date for over six months. I went out on too many before...before the...the conference and I'm not going out now, you know that."
"Yes I do but one never knows when you might change your mind. There are a lot of men who want to go out with you; some are very nice looking and charming at that."
"Have Jon or Tony been here?"
"Yes but not for some time. I thought you might like to go out with the new guy; he is very charming and rather buff. And you need some sex."
Babs stared at Tiffany; she wasn't ready for any matchmaking. Her boss should know that and it was HER business whether she had sex with anyone.