The Yank And The English Lass

The Yank and the English Lass

Author's note: This is totally fiction. It is also (In a roundabout way) a sequel to GarySmith69's great story "The Date". I would like to take this time to thank him for letting me borrow four of his characters for my first story. I would also, like to thank GarySmith69 for his suggestions, which I have added to the story. I hope that I have done his story and his characters justice.

The town of Cong in County Mayo, Ireland is a real town in Ireland. You have probably seen the town. Every time you see the movie "The Quiet man" with John Wayne, Maureen O'Hara and Victor McLaglen. Cong, in County Mayo doubles for the town of Inisfree.

While I have never been there, I have seen photos of The Oxford Retreat, and it seems like a beautiful place.

Yes, it is possible to take a ferry from Ireland to England. A few last things. The narration starts in the third person but quickly changes to the first person. If you are looking for sex in this story, it is not overt. It is implied only. If you are looking for romance, you might like this story.

Lastly, for those of you who say that this would not happen, to paraphrase another fine writer that I admire on this site, "Just about anything can happen in my universe and usually does."

Now, I would like to present to you my first story, "The Yank and the English Lass".

Gary came home from work one Friday and was looking forward to the weekend. He had a smile on his face because his wife Corinne, the love of his life, had told him earlier in the day that she had a surprise for him.

He walked in, kissed his wife and noticed their friend Sarah sitting on the couch.

Before he could say anything, Corinne said, "I had an interesting phone call this morning, just before I left for work. You know that gentleman from Texas, in the United States, that you have been corresponding with for the last year and a half? The man you showed me the pictured of?"

"Yeah, Mike, what about him?" Gary asked.

"He called this morning." Corinne said, "Apparently, he got into Oxfordshire late last night and he would like to meet with us. So, go up and get changed my love. Sarah has a date tonight and I thought that we would accompany her. Besides, we have not had a night out in a fortnight."

"Okay, who is the lucky guy?" Gary asked his wife.

Corinne slightly blushed and looked at Sarah. Sarah, looking at Corinne, said, "I don't know, it's a blind date that Corinne set up."

"Honey, can you come into the kitchen for a minute?" Gary asked with a frown. Once in the kitchen, Gary asked his wife. "My love, what are you doing? Are you sure that this is a good idea?"

"Come on Gary, you know that Sarah's last few dates have not gone too well. I have a feeling that a date with Mike might be just the thing for Sarah." Corinne simply stated.

"Corinne, does this "blind date" have anything to do with my American friend?" He asked with a smile.

"It might, you trust Mike, and let's be honest, the men that Sarah have been dating are not that great. So, someone from a completely different place, country and different perspective just might be what she needs. Trust me my love, I know what I'm doing." She said as she smiled and kissed her husband.

. "Okay," Gary said, accepting his wife's idea, "I'll get changed and be right down."

[Mike:] (The day before)

After twenty-two years of a beautiful marriage, I never thought that I would be single again, much less a widower. Then again, I never thought that I would be doing the tourist bit either.

So, here I am, a 66-year-old, slightly overweight man from Grayson County, Texas, currently on a ferry from Cong in County Mayo, Ireland, to England. The current plan is to drive from Liverpool to Oxfordshire and quite frankly, I'm worried.

You see, in the United States, people drive on the right side of the roads. Here in England, they drive on the left side of the road and that, for a Yank, will take some getting used to.

Also, most, if not all the cars here are right hand drive and, in the states, they are left hand drive.

Before I go any further, let me introduce myself. My name is Michael Jaxxson, from the great state of Texas in the United States and yes, the last name is pronounced like the late singer pronounced his, it's just spelled differently.

How did this Texan get to be so far from home You ask? Well, I'll tell you. 6 years ago, I lost my wife of 22 years to a particularly vicious form of cancer. After moping around and feeling sorry for myself for a couple of years,

I decided that it was time to get my act together. About the same time, I came into some money via the lottery and decided that the best way to get out of this funk that I was in was to do some traveling.

Since I was retired from being a warehouseman, that is what I decided to do. That brings me on this ferry to Liverpool and eventually to the Holiday Inn Oxford in Oxford.

Once there, I plan to contact a man that I have never met face to face. I only have a description of him, along with a picture and a phone number, based on our correspondence.

You see, if this were the 1960's or early 1970's Gary Smith and I would have been considered "pen pals" writing to each other by letters. However, in this day and age of the internet, we correspond via e-mail. I guess that makes us, oh I don't know, e-mail buddies.

Little did I know that meeting Gary and his wife Corinne, my life would change in ways that I never expected.

I got to the hotel after a wild drive in from the coast. I noticed that not only was it late in the day, but I was also tired from driving. So, I just stuck close to the hotel.

The next morning, after doing my morning routine, I called Gary's home. I must have just missed him, because it was his wife, Corinne, who answered the phone.

I explained who I was and that I was staying at the Holiday Inn Oxford and wondered if the three of us could get together and meet. She said that I had just missed him, but we could get together tonight.

She told me that there was a place not too far from the hotel called The Oxford Retreat. She then asked if it would be alright if she could bring a friend along as well.

I said that it would be fine, the more the merrier. She then said that Gary, her and her friend, Sarah would meet me there at 1830. (6:30).

I spent the rest of the day seeing the sights. I got back to the hotel, with an hour and a half to spare, to both relax and to get ready.

At 1730 (5:30) I walked into the pub, and I said to the Barmaid, a cute redhead, "Howdy."

She replied, "Howdy?"

I chuckled, "Sorry, that's just one of the ways we say hello where I'm from. Hello."

She said hello as well. "Nice place you have here," I said, "quiet, nice and cozy. I think the word I am looking for is comfortable. Yeah, that's it the place here is comfortable. However, looking at that dance floor, I bet it's not that quiet at night."

"What can I get you? The barmaid asked. I said,

"Well it's a little early for a beer, so how about a diet soft drink."

"Pepsi, Coke or Dr. Pepper" The Barmaid asked. I said that I was not too particular.

She got me one and as I took a sip I said, "I'm Michael Jaxxson."

She looked at me and said "Yeah, sure." I chuckled and said that I got that a lot.

"There is something that I would like to show you." I said. I then proceeded to get out my driver's license.

"You see, I spell my last name Jaxxson and not Jackson. I also go by Mike to avoid confusion with not only the late singer but with my father, who was Michael Jaxxson Sr."

I'm Rose O'Hanlon." She said, smiling, "What brings you to Oxfordshire Mike?"

"Well, three things actually Rose, may I call you Rose?" I asked. She nodded her head.

I said, "Number 1; I'm doing the tourist bit. I took a ferry from Cong in County Mayo, Ireland and I drove here to Oxfordshire, bypassing London.

"That leads me number 2. I'm looking for a different place to live because I'm not happy where I'm living now, and Oxfordshire seems like a good place to settle down.

"It meets a lot of my requirements. First, I live in a small town in the state of Texas. So, Oxfordshire has a small-town, out in the country appeal to me."

"Oxfordshire is not that small of an area" Rose stated.

"That might be true to someone who has lived here for a while." I said smiling, "But, even though I got spoiled by living in a small town, the area where I grew up was wall to wall city.

"Where I grew up, a person had to drive four to five hours just to get to the country. So, to me, Oxfordshire does have a small-town, out in the country appeal."

"Secondly," I explained, "Oxfordshire is not that far from London, so, if I want to drive there for a visit to see the sights, I can do it. Oxfordshire is only a couple of hours from Sherwood Forest as well.

"I sure that there are also things to do here in Oxfordshire as well. So, if I could find a decent apartment with decent rent, I could see myself settling down here."

"What's the third thing?" Rose asked.

"I'm here to meet some friends." I stated.

Just as I said that, the bell over the door sounded and in walked Gary and his wife, Corinne. With them was an absolute goddess.

She must have been 5'11" and slim with long luxurious dark hair. They went and sat in a booth under a huge mirror.

Just as I was about to get up and walk over there, four men walked in, and I could see that they were going to be trouble. "Uh-oh." I said looking at Rose.

"What?" asked Rose.

"Those four men who just came in, they are going to be trouble. I can see it in their eyes, the way they walk and their stance." I explained.

Just as I said that I saw one of the four grab the goddess's wrist and I heard her shout NO!

"Do me a favor," I asked Rose, "Get me another diet soft drink please, and put it on that table over there please."

"You are not going to do anything are you?" asked Rose.

"I'll make you two promises Rose," I said, "First, I am not going to instigate anything, those four already have started it.

"Second, I am just going over to defend the lady's honour. That is all I am going to do. I am not looking for trouble, but that depends on them as well." I said.

I walked over there just in time to hear the one who held the wrist of the goddess say, "I told you Gary, just sit there! You are outnumbered four to one. You are alone in this matter!"

At the same time, Corinne asked, "Who ordered the soft drink? We didn't?" I said that I had ordered it, it was my soft drink.

I then turned to the one holding the wrist of the goddess and said, "First of all, just what makes you think that Gary is alone in this matter? Four to one is not very good odds, not good at all.

"Now, if you said four to two, now those are better odds. I like four to two odds. You see, it is my opinion that the two of us, Gary and I, are more than equal to the four of you."

In the mirror I saw two of them get behind me and one with an ugly looking jacket start to move his hands.

"Don't do it son," I said to the image in the mirror, "don't you do it. I have eyes in the back of my head. All it will do is lead to pain and humiliation on your part. So, you just stand there nice and still."

I turned my attention back to the one that I was originally speaking to. "Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, secondly, the lady told you no. So, remove your hand from her wrist. NOW!"

"She is my ex-wife, and she is coming with me!" The man stated.

As I turned to the goddess I said, "Really? Ma'am, do you want to go with this person?"

The goddess said, "No, no I don't."

I said okay and I turned back to the man and said, "You heard her, she does not want to go with you. Now, you have two options and only two. Option #1; You can willingly remove your hand from her wrist.

"Option two is that I can remove your hand from her wrist. But, if I remove it, it will hurt you. Now, just to show you that I'm a nice guy I'll let you make the choice. But either way, your hand is coming off her wrist"

He reluctantly took his hand off the goddess's wrist.

"Very good," I said, "That is the first smart thing that I have seen you do in the last ten to fifteen minutes."

Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw, in the mirror, that ugly jacket put his hand in his pocket.

"Excuse me," I said and turned around. "Son, let me give you some advice." I said to ugly jacket.

"I am not your son!" he snapped.

"It's just a manner of speaking where I'm from but, since you don't like it, let me put it another way" I said. "Boy, I am going to give you some advice and if you are smart, you will take it.

"You remove your hand from your jacket pocket and do it slowly. If anything, other than your hand, comes from that pocket, anything at all, I'm going to take from you and feed it to you in the most painful and humiliating way possible! Now remove your hand!"

I had to give it to him; ugly jacket did remove his hand and only his hand came out of the pocket. "Very good, that is the first smart thing that I have seen you do in the last ten to fifteen minutes." I told him.

"Don't be a wuss Jason, take him!" I heard from behind me.

"I assume that you are Jason." I said, Well Jason, you and your friend stand perfectly still and there will be no problem."

I turned around and said to the speaker, "Judging by your piss poor attitude, especially where women are concerned, most particularly this woman, and judging by the fact that you are a jerk, I have got to assume that you are David."

"Who are you?" David asked, "I don't know you."

"That's good that you don't know me," I said, "because if even half, just half of what I have heard about you is true, I do not like you."

"You don't know me." David replied. "That's a good thing as well because I do not want to know you." I stated.

Just then, something told me to twist to the side, and it was a good thing that I did. Just as I turned Jason had a knife out and took a swipe at me ripping my jacket.

"Boy, that was a mistake!" I stated. Now, why don't you give me that tadpole sticker and take your friend and go on down the road before someone really gets hurt!"

Jason said nothing and just lunged at me. I grabbed the wrist that had the knife in it and smashed it on the corner of a metal chair.

While I was doing that, I kicked the man that was next to Jason right in the kneecap. I heard a noise behind me, but I couldn't worry about it at that point.

"You broke my wrist!" Jason screamed in agony.

"Possibly," I said, "but what did you expect, that I was just going to stand there and let you stab me? Boy, let me give you some advice. Don't do that again. Ever!"

I turned around and noticed that one man was on the floor holding his manhood and David had one hand holding what clearly was a broken nose and the other hand was holding his jaw, with Gary standing in the middle of it all.

"Are you ok Gary?" I asked.

"Well I'll be damned. Mike, it's good to finally meet you. You can obviously look after yourself. Mike, have a seat and tell me how you ended up here." he said.

I held out my hand and we shook hands.

I told him that I would, but we were about to have some company.

The police came over to us and after we explained that we were not only defending ourselves, but I was also defending the lady's honour, other patrons of the pub came over and backed up our story. So, they took David and his three henchmen away.

The goddess moved over so I could sit by her. "Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing in Oxfordshire and how did you find me?" Gary asked.

"Well," I said, "I got to the hotel late last night and when I got up this morning, I looked your name up in the phone book and remembered that I had your phone number.

"So, I called and spoke with your wife, Corinne to set up a meeting here. I just didn't plan on those four goons showing up. What was that all about anyway?"

"David and Sarah are divorced, that's Sarah you are sitting next to, and David is not taking it well. Hopefully he will get the message now." Gary explained.

We sat and talked for a bit and then then the music started.

I looked at Sarah and asked, "Ma'am, I'm not very good at it but, would you do me the honour of dancing with me?" I held my hand out and she got up and went to the dance floor with me.

"Don't they make a cute couple?" Corinne asked. Gary just smiled and said, "Let's dance."

We stayed there for what must have been four hours, the four of us enjoying ourselves. At one point, Sarah asked me if I wanted to go home with her.

"Sarah," I said, "you are a beautiful woman, but I have a couple of ironclad rules. First, I will never take a woman that I am interested into bed on the first date. I will not and do not disrespect women like that."

"First date?" She asked.

"Well," I grinned, "I am hoping that this date leads to more dates, since I am going to settle down here in Oxfordshire."

"What is the other rule?" Sarah asked.

"It's simple," I stated, "I am a one-woman man. If I am with a woman, that's it. I am with her until the woman says otherwise. I do not even look at anyone else other than the woman I am with."

Epilogue: Thus began a magical time for me.

Even though I didn't have to do so, I went back to being a warehouseman and I was able to find a good one-bedroom apartment with decent rent.

Sarah and I continued to date, eventually becoming exclusive. Five years later, we are still going strong. Did we finally make love? A gentleman never tells.