Author's note:I'm sorry this part took me so long to complete. I'll try to get part 4 to you guys a little faster but I can't promise it. Hope you're enjoying The Unwritten Rule none the less!
x-x-x
Diary Entry 24/01/2013
I had the most disturbing yet erotic dream last night.
I was running through a dark forest. It did not feel like night but like the whole area was encased in a black, ominous bubble. There were chains all over my naked body. The more I ran, the heavier they became. I had no idea who or what I was running from yet I was afraid like I'd never been in my life.
Suddenly I broke into a clearing. It was warm and a beam of light shone through, illuminating the small area. There were flowers, hundreds of them and tiny insect buzzed around. In the center of it all stood Yuri.
He was nude, gloriously so, with his cock full and pointing toward his stomach.
"Come to me," he said and I left the darkness behind. The chains fell away with every step I took and ribbon-like extensions reached from behind Yuri and replaced them. They were warm as well, and soft.
Our bodies touched and as I looked into his brown eyes my fear was replaced by something I could not define, something that made me want to run away yet need to stay exactly where I was. He lowered me to the ground and the ribbon encased us in a cocoon with only the barest amount of light filtering through.
He made love to me tenderly and just as I was about to cum, he said something that I could not hear no matter how much I strained. Even though he was pressed against me, his body hard in mine, he seemed far way and I could not reach him.
I woke up with tears on my cheeks and my chest aching, feeling like I lost something precious before I had a chance to treasure it.
****
The surf tickles my bare toes. I barely feel it though the sensation is one I love. I barely see the picturesque sunrise either. My mind is a clutter and has been since I nearly had sex with my best friend two nights ago.
Just remembering has my sex clenching in wanting and my chest tightening in panic.
He is everything I thought and so much more. Tender. Masterful. Dominant yet not overbearing. All rolled up into the one man I have loved most of my life. Looking into his eyes on Friday night I was forced to admit I am in love with him. But no matter how sudden the realization, it was not surprising.
It is all the more reason to keep our relationship platonic. I cannot risk our friendship over something sure to fail. I am a broken woman and Yuri deserves so much more than a woman with far too much emotion scars. I thought them healed until that night but they are all too real and still bleeding.
Vowing to never becoming involve with a man like my father, self-involved and withdrawn, I married the splitting image of him personality-wise. Karim Remy was a classically handsome man. His blond curls rioted around his face, giving him a mischievous air that the twinkle in his baby blue eyes promoted.
Eighteen years when we met, and so very naïve, I fell fast and hard for his cool looks and charming demeanor. His manners were exquisite and I never heard him speak in anything other than a low-pitched bass. He was the epiphany of southern gentleman.
Until our honeymoon.
My virginity was taken with callous calculation and I found out our marriage was nothing more than a business merger by our fathers. Karim had been gifted with a million dollars and a promotion in his father's company to play the doting suitor and husband. I'd been sold like a broodmare. Physically, I hurt for days after. Physically and mentally I was devastated especially after hearing my mother's response when I told her what happened. "You did not think a man like that would look your way without some help, did you?"
My father had simply commanded, "Do your duty."
With no help forthcoming from my parents and no resources of my own, I had no choice but to endure my loveless marriage. Karim took me many times after that night, never with any feeling other than contempt. I learned to retreat into myself when he did. He called me frigid and said I was unable to please a man. I took his words to heart.
Embarrassed that I'd been so gullible, I hid the fiasco my marriage turned out to be behind fake smiles and declarations of happiness to the equally fake friends who gushed their envy that I landed such a "catch" and Yuri. I could not bear to tell him how stupid I'd been.
Soon Karim turned his lecherous attentions elsewhere and fucking me-there is no other word to describe what he did to me-became secondary to staying in the arms of his many mistresses. I was grateful when he stopped coming to my bed entirely.
For almost two years I knew some semblance of peace until he came home drunk one night and barged into my bedroom. That night I just could not stand his touch. I announced my intention to move out and get a divorce. I had some savings from the allowance he gave me and was almost done with the degree my father insisted I get for appearances sake. The words came out of my mouth without thought but I knew it was what I wanted. That night I determined I would finally take control of my life.
My proclamation was met with the first and only time he hit me. I escaped into the rain, walking for miles until I found a payphone. I called the only person I knew gave a damn. Yuri.
I slid down against the cold walls and hugged my knees to my chest, far too tired to cry then. He talked to me until his car pulled up to the corner with a squeal of brakes.
I pulled my life together with Yuri's help but though I physically got rid of Karim during the divorce his mocking words stayed with me, always in the back of my mind.
The sound of high-pitched laughter breaks me out of my depressing reverie and I turn to observe a couple walking hand in hand. I cannot suppress the prick of envy watching the woman's face as she tilts her head to receive her lover's kiss.
Picking up my sandals, I get up, pat the sand off my shorts and retrace my footsteps. I wonder what I'd do now, the rest of day stretching out in front of me. The beach is only a few minutes away from the apartment and as part of my plan to avoid Yuri, I'd snuck out before the crack of dawn.
I feel guilty doing it. Yuri has done nothing wrong. For a few incredible moments everything had felt so incredibly right in his arms. Then I hit that roadblock that prevents me from climaxing. I fell back on old habits and faked it. Only Yuri did not fall for my deceit. I have never seen him so angry.
It is embarrassing to remember how I burst into tears. I think Yuri was as shocked at the outburst. It's the only reason I was able to escape his grip and barricade myself in my bedroom.
I have been avoiding him since by waking up early to sneak out and coming home later, tossing a few words his way, avoiding eye contact and locking myself in my room.
If the bakery had not been open yesterday, I have no idea what I would have done. Lovely had floated in on a cloud of happy, announcing she's engaged. The diamond ring was dazzling but her smile was more so as she related the story of her childhood crush seeking her out and claiming her as his. He even showed up after we closed up shop to pick her up. He laid a kiss on her sure to fog up windows. In his expensive Volvo, passion in their eyes, they raced off and left me with my turbulent emotions.
I am happy for Lovely. She deserves to have someone replace the sadness in her eyes with that new sparkle. But I'd be a liar if I say I am not envious. Their romance is like a fairy tale; a modern-day independent heroine reunited with a handsome, rich prince who is clearly thoroughly besotted.
So absorbed in my thoughts I almost miss the tall figure leaning against the jeep. The morning breeze plasters his cargo shorts and short sleeve plaid shirt against his body. My heart immediately begins to race. I wonder if I will ever be unaffected by the sight of him.
Leaving the sand behind, I step onto the road stretch leading to the apartment building. He uncrosses his arms and legs and closes the distance between us. His expression gives nothing away. For a while we just look at each other until he says, "Hi."
