The Sexiest Thing in the World

Musical theatre is one of those things that people tend to either love or hate. For my part, I love it. I love watching it, I love taking part, I even love being backstage as I am this week. I won't say where, for obvious reasons, but I will say that the show in question is Mel Brooks' musical masterpiece, The Producers. Those of you who've seen it will know what I mean when I say that it contains some of the most over the top gay-ness in the history of the theatre... And that's saying something.

Being backstage of all that for a whole week has an effect on me. I'm close to the borderline between Hetero- and Homo-sexual anyway, but there's one thing that's making me feel pretty damn straight this week. Or rather, one girl.

Some of you might find it strange that it's not one of the skimpily dressed showgirls, but one of the, by necessity, black-clad students on a work experience placement at the theatre. Ashleigh is somewhat younger than my 23 years, so initially I decided that she was attractive and fun, but not a good idea to pursue, not that I've ever been all that good at it anyway.

That lasted for a while, though I never went out of my way to ignore her. We became quite friendly by the opening night, sharing jokes backstage, chatting briefly when we had the chance between scene changes. She always laughed hardest when I mouthed along to the a few of the campest scenes with a friend in the cast. Perhaps that was what lead to it after all, I've often heard that girls like guys who make them laugh. I haven't asked and I don't think I'm going to.

Whatever caused it, it happened. On the third night we were talking during the intermission and the conversation turned to Matt, the friend I mentioned.

"Is he actually gay?"

I smiled and shook my head "No, surprising as it seems he's actually straight. A bit camp, but straight."

She laughed "That's a relief, I almost thought you two were together."

That caught my attention, even as the overture started. Had she thought we were both gay? I was a bit disappointed to think that that's how I'd come off, but at the same time, not too surprised considering how I'd been acting at times. But if she was relieved then, "He is with someone though, I've met her."

The lights began to dim backstage for the second half.

"I wasn't worried about him." The lights went out completely and I felt her lips press briefly against mine in the darkness before she hurried to the other side of the stage to get into position. I barely saw her leave and nearly missed the first cue because I was so surprised.

That night, even though I had plenty of opportunities, I didn't go and find her during the second half. Only once the curtain had come down for the final time and the lights came up did I catch up to her. I pulled her silently into the space between the scenery out of sight of everyone else backstage.

The first thing she did when I stopped moving was surprise me again, this time be apologising with one of the most remorseful expressions I'd ever seen.

"Stop. Stop. What are you apologising for?" I relaxed my posture, only just realising that I was standing with my arms folded in the pose of an angry father about to give a lecture.

"I'm sorry... I thought... Since you weren't with... y'know, that... you... liked me." Shit. Emotions. I am really bad with emotions. I knew enough not to start saying I did like her, that would get into the area of 'like' and 'like like' and I've always found that kind of annoying.

"Look. I'm not angry. Why would I be? I'm straight enough to be happy when a cute girl wants to kiss me." That was enough to get her to flash a smirk, but she still clearly regretted it. "I just needed to think. I mean, we've not known each other that long and you're, what five years younger than me?"

She looked surprised at that. "I'm in college. I'm eighteen."

"Yeah, five years younger than me. I'm twenty three." Another look of surprise, followed by a bit of understanding. "If I wasn't, I'd have chased you stage right, second half be damned. I'd probably have tried something myself."

"Why are you so worried about five years?"

"Do you remember what you were like 5 years ago? Compare that to now, then try and imagine what effect the next five years will have on who you are."

She looked away, a thoughtful look on her face, then sat down on a prop box. She didn't look happy. I sat next to her. "That's only part of the reason though. We don't know much about each other. But to help with that I'm going to tell you something." I looked her in the eyes and started speaking:

"Around two years ago, I was in my second year of my second university course, I'll get to that later, but for now we'll just say that life as an Academic never really suited me. During my first year, I'd become quite good friends with a guy named James, who's about as different from Matt as it's possible to be. Between the first and second years, James broke up with his then girlfriend, Gemma. It wasn't the best of endings, but they remained reasonably good friends, because they shared a lot of hobbies and interests. These same things were what helped forge my friendship with James, so it wasn't long before I met Gemma and a few of their mutual friends. After one particularly fun day doing nothing at a nearby park, James and I were back in his room on campus, when he got a message asking my opinion of Gemma. Why she'd sent it from her friend's phone we never did figure out, but my response seemed positive enough for her and the next day she pulled me away from the group to 'talk'. There was some kissing, a few other things, and that's how my first relationship started."

She started at that last comment, as I'm sure a few of you did. "You're serious?"

"Deadly. It probably only lasted as long as it did because of how little experience I had with them. It took me longer than most to realise how little I was enjoying myself."

She moved a bit closer and leant against my shoulder. "How long did it take you to get over her?"

"About two months before she broke up with me. I just didn't realise it."

She shifted a little. I don't know if the bluntness of my comment made her uncomfortable or if it was the whole conversation. Either way, she didn't move away when I put my arm around her shoulders.

"I didn't tell you that to try and make you feel sorry for me or anything, it's just best way I could think of to give you an insight into who I am."

She turned to me again, her face very close to mine making me realise just how beautiful I found her and how comfortable I felt holding her against me. She leant up towards me and this time I joined her in beginning the kiss. It lasted for a long quiet moment before she pulled away and stood up. "I have to go. I need to think about this." I nodded and stood with her.

"Now I'm sorry. I just thought you should know."

Then she left. She did, however, smile at me as she went through the door.

The next day, I did something I'd never done before. I took a condom with me as a precaution. Not because I was expecting anything and certainly not because I intended to force anything, but because if there's one thing I've learned it's that I am not very good at predicting people and I decided to be prepared for anything.

As it turns out, I was a little overcautious that day. My limited experience can be blamed for that.

When I arrived, she was waiting for me in the same spot we'd talked the previous night, a nervous smile on her face when she caught sight of me. She waved me over and quickly slipped her hand into mine when I was close enough. She laughed at my surprised expression.

"You're weird you know that right?" She linked our free hands together and stood looking up at me.

"It is something I've noticed, yeah."

She popped up onto her toes to plant a swift kiss on me and shook her head in amusement. "I kinda like it. It's sweet that you were being so careful with me, but you missed a really big point. Relationships are about getting to know each other, so unless you're going to pretend that's not what you were talking about yesterday, from now on that's what we're doing, right?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Right."

By then we'd run out of time and the show was about to begin. Everything went on as it had before, but now when we had the change, Ashleigh and I would find a quiet spot out of the way to kiss. They became more passionate as the night progressed and when the final curtain fell, she crossed the stage directly and threw her arms around me and we locked together right there in the open. Parting to our own brief round of applause from a few of the more exuberant onlookers. She looked at me, suddenly shy, and we both headed towards the door. Far from going to the exit as I'd expected, she lead me past the outer door and stopped outside the, generally ignored, disabled toilets. She didn't open the door, she didn't even turn to face me, she simply stood for a moment breathing deeply.

I started thinking about what I should do, but gave up after a second. Thinking about this sort of thing takes too long. I rested my hands on her shoulders and spun her gently, bringing her in close to me. She rested her head on my chest and seemed to relax a little. Tentatively, she reached out a hand to the door and pushed it open.

Once inside, she was calmer, like having made her decision, she had no reason to worry. Guiding me to sit on the closed seat, she straddled me and kissed me. Our lips were locked together for a long moment, until I slowly traced my fingers up her spine, eliciting a shiver and a gasp. The brief second where her mouth opened, I flicked my tongue against her upper lip and began to kiss her chin, moving along it's gentle curve to her neck.

I've read somewhere that a woman's neck can be a powerful erogenous zone and I think it may be my favourite, the intimacy of our positioning and the closeness of our bodies let me feel every little motion of her and hearing her breathing becoming heavier as I trailed kisses up and down her neck brought my already hardening member to full arousal.

The way she froze when I gently pressed my teeth onto her skin at the soft slope of her shoulder excited me almost as much as the way she leant back when I let go, her breasts rising and falling rapidly as she released the breath she'd held. Her new angle pressing her even more tightly against my rigid manhood. I don't think I was imagining the heat I could feel, even through two pairs of jeans.

She didn't say anything, but the look in her eyes told me that she hadn't expected to enjoy it. She leant down to kiss me again, this time keeping my lips occupied so I didn't give her any other surprises. I accepted her attentions thoroughly, especially when she started to unbutton my shirt and slide it off my shoulders. As her hands pressed onto my chest, I slipped mine underneath her t-shirt and traced my fingertips slowly up her back, lifting the material with my wrists as they moved. She didn't try to stop me. In fact our kiss deepened, her lips parting slightly to let my tongue touch against hers.

Eventually, my hands curled around over her shoulders. I could have stayed like that for a while, just holding her against me, feeling the warmth of her bare stomach against mine, but she broke the kiss and helped me finish removing her t-shirt, dropping it on top of my shirt next to us. After this was done she looked at me a little unsure again as if unsure of how to proceed. I on the other hand knew exactly what I wanted next. She looked so enticing, sitting on me with nothing above the waist but an undecorated black bra. The simplicity of it only adding to how much I wanted her. My hands slid from her waist round to the clasp at her back, and it only too another moment before I'd pulled the simple garment off her and tossed it away. I didn't give her much time to wonder after that, looping my arms around her and supporting her back, I leant her down and proceeded to kiss my way up her belly, lifting her back up to meet me as I ascended, bringing our naked torsos flush together and gently pressing my teeth into her shoulder again. She froze for an instant, then shuddered. I released the bite and kissed her neck until she pulled away, deliberately guiding my lips to her breasts. I'd deliberately only moved between them before, but now I paid them the attention the deserved. I'm no expert, but I can't imagine she's more than a B-cup, which made caressing them in this position wonderfully simple. Cupping them gently in my hands, I moved my fingers in intricate patterns, leaving kisses on each in turn wherever my hands were absent. As before I teased her deliberately, not touching her nipples, no matter how tempting that tight pink skin was.

She was breathing heavily, letting out an occasional gasp and every so often her hips rocked against me. The frequency of her motions increased the longer I teased her, switching between caressing her soft pale breasts and stroking her back every so often. My hands her on her back, near her shoulders when I finally surrendered to the temptation and flicked my tongue across her left nipple, before catching it between my lips and gently pulling on it.

She gasped quite loudly this time, anticipation and arousal making them sensitive. I brought my hand back round to twirl my thumb across her left while I moved my tongue to stroke around her right.

It seemed like that was all the excuse she'd been waiting for as she began to grind her hips against me in earnest, the heat from her crotch undeniable at this point and the sensation of her body writhing on top of me made my erection press harder than ever against her. She rocked back and forth against me, her hands gripping my shoulders tightly for support as my hands moved all over her body, eventually coming to rest on her firm buttocks when her pace began to increase and she locked her lips onto mine just in time to stifle a gasping moan.

Her body shook as her orgasm rushed through her. I held her close, kissing her neck as she slowly came down from it. "You are amazing" I whispered as she lay against me, gasping at the slightest movement against her sensitive body.

"Did you...?" She half asked, her voice quiet and all the more sexy for it.

"No. But you did and I will argue through nine shades of hell with anyone who says that that isn't the sexiest damn thing in the world."