Musical theatre is one of those things that people tend to either love or hate. For my part, I love it. I love watching it, I love taking part, I even love being backstage as I am this week. I won't say where, for obvious reasons, but I will say that the show in question is Mel Brooks' musical masterpiece, The Producers. Those of you who've seen it will know what I mean when I say that it contains some of the most over the top gay-ness in the history of the theatre... And that's saying something.
Being backstage of all that for a whole week has an effect on me. I'm close to the borderline between Hetero- and Homo-sexual anyway, but there's one thing that's making me feel pretty damn straight this week. Or rather, one girl.
Some of you might find it strange that it's not one of the skimpily dressed showgirls, but one of the, by necessity, black-clad students on a work experience placement at the theatre. Ashleigh is somewhat younger than my 23 years, so initially I decided that she was attractive and fun, but not a good idea to pursue, not that I've ever been all that good at it anyway.
That lasted for a while, though I never went out of my way to ignore her. We became quite friendly by the opening night, sharing jokes backstage, chatting briefly when we had the chance between scene changes. She always laughed hardest when I mouthed along to the a few of the campest scenes with a friend in the cast. Perhaps that was what lead to it after all, I've often heard that girls like guys who make them laugh. I haven't asked and I don't think I'm going to.
Whatever caused it, it happened. On the third night we were talking during the intermission and the conversation turned to Matt, the friend I mentioned.
"Is he actually gay?"
I smiled and shook my head "No, surprising as it seems he's actually straight. A bit camp, but straight."
She laughed "That's a relief, I almost thought you two were together."
That caught my attention, even as the overture started. Had she thought we were both gay? I was a bit disappointed to think that that's how I'd come off, but at the same time, not too surprised considering how I'd been acting at times. But if she was relieved then, "He is with someone though, I've met her."
The lights began to dim backstage for the second half.
"I wasn't worried about him." The lights went out completely and I felt her lips press briefly against mine in the darkness before she hurried to the other side of the stage to get into position. I barely saw her leave and nearly missed the first cue because I was so surprised.
That night, even though I had plenty of opportunities, I didn't go and find her during the second half. Only once the curtain had come down for the final time and the lights came up did I catch up to her. I pulled her silently into the space between the scenery out of sight of everyone else backstage.
The first thing she did when I stopped moving was surprise me again, this time be apologising with one of the most remorseful expressions I'd ever seen.
"Stop. Stop. What are you apologising for?" I relaxed my posture, only just realising that I was standing with my arms folded in the pose of an angry father about to give a lecture.
"I'm sorry... I thought... Since you weren't with... y'know, that... you... liked me." Shit. Emotions. I am really bad with emotions. I knew enough not to start saying I did like her, that would get into the area of 'like' and 'like like' and I've always found that kind of annoying.
"Look. I'm not angry. Why would I be? I'm straight enough to be happy when a cute girl wants to kiss me." That was enough to get her to flash a smirk, but she still clearly regretted it. "I just needed to think. I mean, we've not known each other that long and you're, what five years younger than me?"
She looked surprised at that. "I'm in college. I'm eighteen."
