LXVIII: My Girlfriend's Ex
Liam and Lexi
Liam
Liam took a deep breath as he stopped before the door to Blake's apartment, then covered his mouth as the breath turned into a yawn. He'd barely been able to sleep last night. His mind had kept spinning and spiraling with thoughts of him and Blake. And his conversation with Tasha. He'd considered walking down the hall and asking Kiki's opinion on it as well, or calling Kekoa, but had decided against it, know that they would probably reinforce what Tasha had said.
Liam smiled thinking about Kekoa. His brother knew how he felt about Blake, and would have probably just told him to go buy everything in a flower or chocolate store and send it Blake if that's what he thought it would take to smooth things over.
Liam had almost rushed here first thing after waking up, but had thankfully remembered that Marie wouldn't be leaving until around ten. That had given him time to shower and eat and make sure he actually looked presentable before walking across campus to Blake's place. He'd waited in the convenience store downstairs for about twenty minutes, feeling a bit like a stalker as he watched for Marie. When he hadn't seen anything, Liam had walked in and climbed the stairs to Blake's floor.
Thankfully, Marie hadn't come walking down the hall. He probably could have explained his way out of it--that he was taking Blake out to celebrate with some friends, or that he was coming to apologize for the previous day--but that wasn't an encounter he wanted to deal with yet. He hadn't seen Marie since their break-up, and didn't know exactly how he would feel if that happened.
Realizing he'd been just standing in front of Blake's door for a few minutes, Liam took another deep breath to settle his nerves, then knocked on the door.
He really hoped Marie wasn't still inside.
"Just a sec!"
Liam blinked, then relax just a bit at Sophie's voice.
He heard footsteps, then a pause before the door opened.
Sophie smiled at him and stepped back as she pulled the door all the way open, dressed in a big T-shirt and PJ pants, dark curls tied up in a bun, bowl of sugary cereal in one hand. Her smile made Liam feel a little better.
"Hey, Liam. Come on in. Marie's gone. Blake's in her room. Apparently, there's some trouble in paradise?"
Liam gave Sophie a sheepish grin, cheeks hot as he scrubbed a hand through his hair and walked past her into the room.
"Good luck, dude," Sophie said, closing the door behind him, then walking past him toward her room, "I'll leave you two to talk."
Before Liam could respond, Sophie raised her voice, "Blake, your boy-toy is here. If you're still mad at him just make sure he cooks something before he leaves."
Liam smirked at that as Sophie sauntered over to her room, disappearing into it.
His expression sobered when Blake poked her head out of her room a few moments later. Liam couldn't read her expression as her eyes met his, but after a few seconds, she gave him a half-smile and stepped out from behind her door.
She looked beautiful, as always, wearing a big, oversized hoodie with her bright blue hair pulled up in a bun. It was a bit darker at the roots, so she would probably have to dye it again, soon. She didn't wear any make-up, but Liam liked that. She looked gorgeous with it on, but without it, she looked more open, more real.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," Liam said back, "I'm sorry for just...appearing here. I know I should have texted--"
Blake shook her head, "It's fine."
Silence stretched between them for a few seconds before Blake gestured to the main living area, "Want to sit down?"
Liam tried not to smile too much at that as he nodded, "Sure."
Liam unbuttoned his coat, but didn't take it off, as they walked over to the couch and sat down on opposite ends. He wanted to reach out and take Blake's hand, but he knew that wasn't the right thing to do at the moment. Instead, he sat facing the table and rested his elbows, looking down as he took a deep breath.
He waited just a moment to see if Blake would say anything. When she didn't he took looked over at her.
"I wanted to apologize for handling yesterday so poorly," he said, meeting Blake's cerulean gaze, "I know you told me that I would need to deal with this kind of thing, and I meant it when I said I could, but..."
He trailed off, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to hold her gaze even as his lip wanted to twitch like it did sometimes when he was nervous and had to say something important, "I thought I would be able to do better, but I was obviously wrong. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, and I promise I will do better next time. If there is one."
Liam swallowed, holding Blake's gaze as he waited for her to respond.
She studied him for a moment, then surprised him by biting her lip and taking a deep breath before she spoke.
"Thank you, but it wasn't your fault."
Liam blinked, but before he could say anything, Blake continued, "You didn't handle it the way I would have hoped, and you could have made things worse, but I know how freaked out I was the first time that happened to me--I wasn't exactly thinking straight when it did, and I shouldn't have expected that of you just because you said you could handle it. You have every right to feel protective of me and act the way you did. Mostly. I know it wasn't some stupid macho thing, just you being concerned about me."
She paused, taking another deep breath as she tucked a stray lock of blue hair behind her ear.
"I think I was just really shaken up by it and I took that out on you since I couldn't take it out on that guy. For that, I'm sorry. And I was glad to have you there with me. Can you forgive me for that?"
Liam blinked. This was not how he'd expected this conversation to go, but he nodded, "Of course, Blake. I--"
"I do want to get one thing straight, though," she said, voice firm even as her eyes softened, "While I appreciated you being there, you did overreact, and I did not need you there. I've handled shit like that by myself before, and I need to be able to do that going forward without relying on you. Got it? Even if I can rely on you, I need to be able to handle it if you're not there since you won't always be there for me to rely on."
Liam frowned at that last part, but figured she just meant when she was home for break or when he wasn't physically with her. He would take what she said seriously, but he had a feeling she'd been speaking almost more to herself than to him."
Liam hesitated for a moment, then reached across the couch and took Blakes hand. She didn't pull away. Instead, she curled her fingers around his and smiled.
"I get it," he said, "I hope something like that never happens again, but if it does when I'm with you, I'll let you take the lead instead of running my mouth, okay? I really am sorry that I reacted so stupidly. I--"
Blake put her other hand over his, cutting him off, "You already apologized for that, Liam. Thank you."
She studied him for a moment, licking her lips, then scooted closer to him. Liam wrapped his arms around her. It was a somewhat-awkward side-hug, but Liam didn't care. He was just happy to have her in his arms again.
For a while, they just sat there, Liam enjoying the feeling of Blake pressed against him. Then she took a deep breath and tilted her head up, meeting his eyes.
"I know my whole situation is pretty fucked up," she said, "And me being fucked up and being mad at you like I was isn't easy to deal with. You're really wonderful, Liam."
Liam blinked shocked at the punch of emotion in Blake's voice, then raised a hand to stroke Blake's hair, pulling her closer with the other.
"And you're too hard on yourself."
Blake didn't say anything to that, but she did snuggle into his embrace a bit more.
Smiling, Liam held her like that for a while, then decided he'd probably pushed his luck as far as it would go. Blake had accepted his apology. Now that he knew things were okay between them, he would give her a bit of space.
Liam kissed her forehead, then stood up, letting go of Blake. He'd barely taken a step away from the couch when Blake shot up on her knees and grabbed his wrist.
"What are you doing?"
Liam blinked, chest tightening at the panic in Blake's voice. When he turned to look at his girlfriend, Liam found Blake's eyes wide, jaw tight. She looked almost scared.
"Don't you want to stay?" Blake asked.
Liam's eyes widened as he realized the cause of the emotion behind Blake's voice. A bit of relief washed over him, but a bit of pain for his girlfriend jabbed at his heart.
Did she think she'd scared me off?
