Stephen slumped back in his chair. The words on his computer screen were unmistakable, and they hit him with the force of a knife in the heart. He had waited all night to find Tina on line, but the conversation he was hoping to have did not materialize. Her words were short and to the point. While she said she loved him, and enjoyed their time together, she wanted to give her ex-fiancée one last chance. To be true to him, she told Stephen that they shouldn't continue to contact each other, that it would be too painful. In fact, she was planning to make this last meeting in the chat room their last conversation. Ever. Although his heart sank at the news, Stephen was able to think up something quickly. Typing rapidly, even as tears formed in his eyes, he asked her if she was still planning to visit him next week, as they had planned.
"I don't think that would be appropriate. I would have to decline," was her terse reply. Recovering quickly, he asked if he might call her in the morning, one last time. "Fine. I work at 9 AM. Call me after that." With that, Tina disconnected from the chat room, leaving Stephen stunned and alone.
Sleep would not come easily for him that night, as he thought of the wondrous miracle that had been their relationship, and the cold reality that it was all over. Random thoughts filled his mind as he lay in bed. What to do next. Would he beg her to take him back? Was revenge a better option? Was there a chance that they might salvage something of their relationship? He would toss and turn all night long, but those questions would remain unanswered until the next morning. All the while, he kept remembering how their initial chance encounter led to many hours of online meetings and later, phone calls. Then his visits down to her. Thousands of miles had separated them, yet they seemed to be able to surmount all obstacles placed before them. Now this. Less than two weeks before she was flying out to see him, and she was calling it all off. What went wrong?
Tina's fingers raced across the keyboard. Damn it. She had meant to be civil, to say goodbye, but she had accidentally logged herself out of the chat room. What would he think? As the familiar icons crossed the screen, she scanned for his name. Nothing. He had left. Well, she thought, maybe it's for the better. We can't go on seeing each other like this; he has to be out of my life completely if I'm going to make this all work out for me. Too bad he won't be a part of my life, but I have to stand firm. As she thought back on the love that they had shared, she burst into tears. Her fiancée raced out from the bedroom to see what was the matter. Sobbing and crying, Tina buried her head on his shoulder as he led her to bed. His arms wrapped around her as he attempted to console her, but she drew away.
"Leave me alone, just leave me alone!" she pleaded. He backed off, withdrawing to his side of the bed. Tina wrapped herself in a blanket and lay on her side, facing away from him. "I'm doing the right thing, really, she told herself. Then why do I feel so awful about it?" was the question that wracked her brain for the rest of the night. Try as she might, the luxury of drifting off to sleep never came.
She hadn't been at work for five minutes the next morning when the phone rang. "OK, Tina, be strong, you have to do this, it's for everyone's own good," she kept telling herself. During her entire sleepless night, she had anguished over her decision, but she was bound and determined to stick with the position she had chosen. What happened next was something that she hadn't expected. Stephen was looking for closure, to find out what went wrong between them. Most importantly, he wanted to know if there was anything that he could have done, or could still do to make their relationship work. Despite all of her preparation, Tina didn't have an answer for him. What had seemed so right just a few days earlier faded as she spoke to him. Caught off guard by his approach, Tina relented, a little. In a mutual agreement with him, they decided to continue their friendship, for now. Tina and Stephen agreed that while they could still call and write each other, these would be less frequent. In addition, certain topics that they both still found painful to approach would be off limits.
Satisfied as to their conclusions, Tina was about to finish their call when Stephen reminded her of the plans they had made for the following week. While she didn't think that a visit that would basically end up as a weekend spent entirely in a hotel bedroom was appropriate, she did admit that she would still like to do some sightseeing. Because there was quite a drive involved for Stephen, she graciously allowed him to plan on sharing their hotel room. But in no uncertain terms, she made sure that he knew that he would be sleeping on the couch. Deciding that the opportunity to see her one last time was sufficient, he agreed. After all, he had no illusions about just how much contact they would share once the weekend was over. Her tone had told him that.
The intervening days between that phone call and her impending visit passed quickly. For her part, Tina worked at putting the pieces of her life back together, accepting the fact that Stephen would no longer be a part of it. It had been her decision, but she still had some reservations about it. One thing was certain, her boyfriend, back in her life, was not doing all that much to maintain his position. While he had every right to be hurt at her previous rejection of him, it was becoming apparent to her that his return seemed more for his convenience than out of any mutual longing for each other. Her friends and co-workers noticed too, when she had been with Stephen, there had been a glow to her, a perkiness that was now missing. Tina had always been a happy, outgoing person, but now she seemed more melancholy. In fact, one day when Stephen had called her, and talked to a friend of hers at work, her change in mood was extremely obvious.
Catching the tail end of the conversation, she heard her friend say to him "So, how was your weekend? Oh, you don't want to talk about it, I see. Well, anyway, here's Tina for you." When she first heard that he was on the phone for her, her face lit up, but as her friend turned and handed the phone over to her, her spirits sank as she knew just how much pain she had inflicted on him. After a brief conversation, her friend took her aside. "Tina, what's wrong between you guys?" she asked.
"I told him it's over, that I have to give my life down here one more try."
"Well, it's none of my business, but you seemed to be a lot happier with Stephen instead of him."
"Damn right it's none of your business," was her cold reply. Taking a deep breath, Tina resolved that no matter what, she had to stay with the decision she had made, and nothing could be allowed to change that.
The morning of her flight, Stephen called again, with a rather interesting question. "Hey, how am I supposed to greet you at the airport? I can't just sit in the parking lot waiting for you; you'd never find me. And we can't say hello the way we used to now, can we?" That had usually entailed a passionate embrace, and never failed to lead to the bedroom.
"Well, we're just friends," she emphasized. "Greet me like you would any other friend flying in for the weekend."
"A handshake then?" he asked.
"No! Silly!" she laughed. "I suppose a hug would still be OK."
