"You're so young." Will said to me, and I rolled my eyes. It was a common refrain when I came into his office for career advice. When I met Will at the beginning of the semester I had no idea he was over 40. At 28 years old, I didn't go straight to law school, and I often assumed that the supervisors at my internships were not much older than myself. Will's appearance had added to my perception. He was tall and slim. It was hard to make out his body under his tailored suits, but he was clearly a bit muscular. His skin was smooth. Overall, he was incredibly handsome.
I couldn't quite figure out why he drew attention to our 13 year age gap so often. Was he convincing himself not to take things further? Was it an attempt to let me down easy? Certainly, he understood why I was always chose the route through the office that would take me by his door, why I was perpetually twirling my long brown hair when we spoke and adjusting my shirt so just a touch more cleavage showed when he was near.
Still, this time he left his leg pressed against mine after he said it. I stood near his desk wondering, maybe he was asking for permission? Maybe he would actually
do it
this time.
My crush on him developed as soon as I first looked into his eyes. They were blue, contrasting with his brown skin. They conveyed a softness when he looked in my direction, stirring butterflies in my stomach. My crush became all consuming when I was assigned to work on a project with him. His actions throughout that first month showed a genuine kindness that is incredibly rare. He stayed late working for our clients -- individuals facing the threat of eviction. He took an interest in getting to know them and their lives. He was kind to everyone. Other attorneys in the office came to him to be cheered up. He was kind to me. He seemed to genuinely care about whether or not I was gaining the experience I needed from the internship.
His kindness was also why I never knew exactly what was going on in his head. When he placed his hand on my thigh, was it because he felt the tension between us as well? Or was he comforting me the way he comforted everyone else. When we walked down the hallway a little too close together, did he also feel the electricity when our shoulders bumped together?
"When someone is as emotionally stunted as you are, age is just a number." I teased him. My black skirt was riding up my legs a bit, exposing the side of my thigh. Generally speaking, his age was just a number, but I think it added to the taboo of the disparity of our power roles. At first, he was a supervisor, teaching me how to do my job and also holding the key to potential fulltime employment when I graduated at the end of the year. However, knowing that he might be feeling a power trip from the 20 something intern fawning over him also added to the allure.
The pure sexual tension made me look past everything that I would normally categorize as a red flag. 41 years old, and he spent his free time playing drums in a rock band. I had long since lost interest in the egotistical musicians I had once chased after, but with Will it turned me on. He was single. Never married. A life-long bachelor. And, he was hitting on his intern!
This all also meant I needed him to make the first move. If I was misreading his signals, my future would be in jeopardy. But the same went for him -- imagine if it got around that he had creepily made unwanted advances towards the intern.
Will leaned back, and his leg left mine. I gently sighed in disappointment, hoping that somehow Will didn't hear. "Let's grab a drink." He suggested. I smiled. Happy hour was not an unusual offer after I finished working on a project with someone in the office, but Will had not yet taken me out.
He stood up, towering over me at almost six feet tall. I was just 5' 2" but my heals gave me another two or three inches. I wasn't skinny, but I had an hourglass figure. My large breasts were still perky, and were balanced out by my wide hips. My face had a strong jawline and prominent cheekbones. My eyes were large, and I liked to draw attention to my thick lips with light pink lip gloss. I wasn't the most beautiful girl in the office, but I certainly knew how to play up my best features.
He pressed his hand into the small of my back and guided me out of the office. We started to walk to a bar down the street, a usual evening hangout for all of the attorneys. Instead of stopping, he kept moving down the street.
His head nodded forwards casually, "Let's go to the bigger bar down the street. I can get you a cocktail instead of just a beer."
