I said, "That time on our honeymoonâ. Um. I need to back up. While we were at high school, one of the students attacked an instructor with a knife, and he threw him. The instructor taught PhysEd, and it seems he knew some martial arts system, and defended himself by throwing the attacker. We were all shown a film of the event, later. Anyway, for some reason, from before we were married, my wife has worried about someone attacking me like that someday, and she insisted on my getting martial arts training, so I have, for several years now. Mostly taekwondo, and I've always been upfront with my instructors that what I wanted was just to be able to defend myself. I'm sure you understand that there's kind of a blurry line between moves for attack and defense, though.
"At any rate, when Sharkey went after me, I almost threw him. You understand, you practice these moves until they're a reflex. I managed to think in time, and to convert my move to just get a standard wrestling hold on him. I had no desire to hurt him, and I was sure I could defend myself. He's a little bigger than I am, and he was always kind of a tough-guy type, but even as a beginner I could see that I could handle him as much as I needed to.
"This guy had a knife, and I really had no idea of his capabilities, and he was threatening Ellen, and he might have hurt Abraham too. I just let my reflexes take over, because I didn't think I had leeway to do anything but defend myself. I didn't set out to do more than that. It's fair to say I was scared half to death, this time.
"I don't think the attack I mentioned, on the teacher, will be in your files. It happened out of the country. But if you like, I think I can give you contact information for him. We've kept in touch, a little, and we've discussed my martial arts training."
He asked a few more questions, but it looked like he was basically satisfied. About this time, they brought Ellen and Avi out, too. Avi kind of ran to me. He was tired, and I thought all the strangeness was getting to him. He was pretty clingy.
It turned out that once again Ellen had managed to get the actual attack into a video with her phone. It started right after she had called 9â1â1, and the light was bad, but we could make out his coming at me with the knife, and my throwing him. The police immediately wanted a copy, for evidence. None of his first speech was there, of course. The video began with me backing away as he followed me with his knife, and then his attack and my throw.
They made us wait while statements were prepared for us to sign. When the statements were ready, we both read them closely. I had encountered such things beforeâin fiction only, but the same impersonal flavor was present in these. In mine, for sure, the words were mostly mine, but thoroughly condensed and, well, pureed. Where there had been questions and my answers wouldn't have made sense out of context, the questions had been reworded and put into my mouth, as introductory clauses. So, "Why were you there at that time?" became "We were there because," for example. None of this distorted in the least the meaning of what I had said, so I didn't comment on itâbut it didn't sound very much like something I would have said.
Ellen's statement sounded similar, as far as that went, and certainly supported what I had said. I was startled by one bit in the middle. Ellen had said that, far from seeking to pick fights or even quarrels, I was invariably courteous even in the face of great provocation, and that she had seen this on many occasions before we were married or even knew each other very well. But then she added that if I had seen a stranger being accosted violently in the way she was, I almost certainly would have sought to intervene.
Apparently, my surprise showed. I was asked what brought on my reaction. I read the relevant sentences, and said, "I'd like to think that's true, but with Ellen and Abraham to think of, I might just have tried to call 9â1â1. I admit that my first impulse might have been to get involved, though."
The policewoman laughed. "A lot of people say they would have gotten involved, but not many do. In your case, I believe your wife, especially since you're ready to say you're not sure. The ones who are full of hot air tend to be really, really sure."
I asked, and then took pictures of the statements. We signed, and they told us not to leave town without notifying them, and then they took us home. They also told us that the attacker was in the hospital with a concussion, but was wanted in connection with both armed robberies and rapes. I gathered they were pleased to have him in custody, except for having to have someone guarding him in the hospital.
And, indeed, we found a notice of his capture in the newspaper a couple of days later. It described in general terms what had happenedâwithout identifying us or giving details that would identify usâand referred to the other cases. He was eventually convicted on a several of those, cases where he had actually succeeded in harming someone or stealing money. DNA evidence and videos from security cameras identified him clearlyâonce he was in custody.
One of the policemen called me to say that they didn't expect us ever to have to testify, since they had plenty to charge him with, and that we were free to travel without notifying them. He said, in passing, that I had done a good job in self-defense, protecting myself and Ellen and Avi without harming the attacker more than necessary. I thought that he meant that, if I had done more damage, the police would have had to spend a lot of time determining that I had been justified. But I also felt good at the comment.
My taekwondo instructor also was pleased with me when I showed him the video and described the course of events. This one, like my instructor back at the university, was in favor of restraint and thought, as long as it didn't slow the student down, but he saw that I didn't have much room for restraint in the situation. And, well, I easily could have hurt him a lot worse.
When we got home, we had a lot of trouble settling Avi down for the night. He wasn't really talking all that much yet, or even understanding muchâadult things, I meanâbut I was pretty sure that he had felt the tension and fear. And of course it was way, way past his bedtime, and he was tired. But he finally settled down and slept.
When we finally got ourselves into bed, Ellen held me so tight I wasn't sure what to make of it. Finally, she said, "In one way I knew everything would be OK, but I was also as scared as I've ever been in my life. I knew you would give your life defending me, if it came to that, and I couldn't help being afraid it would." She kind of shivered a little, and didn't say anything more for a moment.
"Phil, that was what I saw. I saw you backing away, and him following you with the knife. I didn't know I would be there, and certainly not Avi. And I saw him lunge at youâand nothing more. I was afraid to tell you more than I did, but it was him, I knew him the minute he stepped in front of us. And I never saw what happened next, until tonight. But you were magnificent. As always."
We made love, and the way some people think of it, it wasn't very good for Ellen. She didn't comeâin fact she never really got all that aroused. I certainly tried! Sex wasn't what she needed that night, except as something to give me. Right away, she told me to quit delaying and just go in. There are times just to give her what she wants. She was about as passionate as I had ever known her to be. Not like our wedding night, not quite, and there had been a few more times, but she was saying, 'I love you,' as thoroughly as she ever had, with every moment's contact. Passion, not arousal. Desire for contact and reassurance, not for physical pleasure.
If I had insisted, she would have tried for arousal and orgasm. But if she had promised to obey me, I had promised to cherish her, and that meant giving her what she wanted and needed in this case. In most cases. She was so precious to me!
In the morning, she told me, "I hope you'll keep up the taekwondo anyway. Just because I've never seen you need it again doesn't mean you won't. But I can stop dreading seeing him come at you with a knife, at least." She stopped for a moment. "Phil, you know we rarely know the real reasons things happenâthe ultimate reasons. You're the one who told me that, after all! But now that I think about it, what really was the likelihood of our running into Sharkey when and where we did? Jenny hadn't known he was around, in town, either, remember! It looks to me like he was there to give you some easy practice, and to encourage you to persevere on the martial arts training and practice. And maybe a pop quiz or something, for your benefit and mine. Preparation for last night. But was last night the final exam, or the midterm? I'm a little worried that this is just more preparation for something much bigger, someday." And that made all too much sense to me, too.