Daniel Langier watched her sleep peacefully from his chair. He sipped at his ice water to try to fill the pit in his chest. He tried to think of what to say to her. He'd said he was sorry, but it didn't feel right. She'd covered his mouth and rolled away from him. They shouldn't have done it. He'd pushed her too far, last night. She'd wake up and hate him. When he got out of bed to use the bathroom, he thought he should probably leave. He couldn't bring himself to do it. 'This is bad, but I deserve whatever punishment she gives me.'
She rolled over and opened her eyes. He smiled slowly at her and she raised up to focus on him.
"You let me sleep? What time is it?"
"It doesn't matter. I'd rather you got your rest," he softly said as he set down his glass and sat down next to her on the bed.
"Did I snore?" She looked up at him with those beautiful brown eyes and sighed. He couldn't help the kiss he pressed to her forehead. He had to reward her for that look.
"No," he smiled to himself. "You were like an angel."
"Angel! Ha!" She sat up straighter and wrapped the sheet around her. "Not after what we did, last night."
'Not after what I did.' He didn't laugh. He didn't want to see the easy smile on her face. He made the mistake of looking away.
"What's wrong?" She turned his face with her hand and looked right into him. 'She can see it all over me, can't she?' She studied him as he tried to come up with something to say.
Her eyes were just narrowing when he blurted out, "We shouldn't have slept together."
Her mouth dropped open slightly and she pulled the sheet closer over her breasts. "Was I that bad?"
She looked away from him. He had to reassure her before her shoulders folded in, "Oh, no. I just...last night...I rushed through and... Maybe you weren't ready."
She frowned at him, "I bought the condoms. I came here with you. You didn't force me to do anything."
"But, I saw your face."
She touched his arm, "It's okay."
"It's not. Not the way you looked at me," he crossed his arms over his bare chest. He'd only seen a shadow of what she'd actually done, because he'd been kissing her part of the time. When she screamed he stopped. Her body had been tensed under him. She'd dug her nails into his arms and shut her eyes tight. Her mouth opened, and her teeth clinched tight. The terror was still frozen on her face when she finally opened her eyes again.
"Dan," she sighed with her cheek on his shoulder, "You have to cut me some slack. It felt good. Really good. I just need a little practice, okay?"
"Practice," he mumbled.
"I was a little scared, at first. That's all. I shouldn't have been. I'm with you. You don't scare me. I scare me," she pointed to herself.
He wanted to believe her, but there was something not right in the way she rushed through the words. He ran his fingers over her forearm and slowly down to her fingertips. "Baby..."
"Donatello," she firmly said. "Stop thinking so much. Come back to bed." She'd called him Donatello. It sounded good coming from her.
* Joanne urged him to lay down with her hands. His muscles were firm under her fingers. 'He's right. I know I flipped out,' she sighed as he finally settled into the mattress. 'It was stupid. I shouldn't feel weird with him. I just wanted things to be good. Why can't things just work out?' As she ran her hands over his back, he let out a soft sound and said, "I'll give you forever to stop that."
She wanted to see the places she'd been denied for weeks. Dan turned to his back and silently surveyed the situation. She dug her fingers into his hair and ran her nails over his scalp. She bent forward and smelled his hair. His face moved into a strange expression when she moved to his face. Her palms rested on his cheeks as she traced his eyebrows with her thumbs. She bent down and kissed his lips. She teased at his stubble and put her lips to his neck. She found a sensitive spot on the side of his neck and he squirmed slightly. Her mouth went to his shoulder and she fanned her hand across his chest. She felt his breathing quicken as her hand moved deliberately over his abdomen.
"Okay, babe. I'm not too sure about this," he purred as he picked up her hand.
"Neither am I," Jo said as she tried to move toward him again. She wasn't sure where this was going, but she wanted it. She wanted him inside her again. This time, she wanted to be with him, instead of inside her head.
"I want us to be sure," he said slowly and precisely. "Absolutely, sure. Because, I don't want to do this again just to do it again."
"Well, maybe, I just wanted to see some things, before I made up my mind," she blushed. 'God, I am such a teenager, right now.'
He rolled his eyes and muttered, "I can't believe I'm gonna say this." He covered his chest with the sheet and said with a suppressed laugh, "Up here only. No below the waist until I'm ready."
She sat up and let her end of the sheet drop. She liked the way he was distracted by her bare breasts. The way that he focused on her, she could almost feel him on her skin. She snapped her finger in front of her right nipple and put her hands on her hips. "So, when exactly will you be ready? A girl has needs, you know?"
They both laughed. Dan wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her lips.
"Room service," he offered as he scanned her face.
She was a little hungry. She let her arms drop to his sides and put her temple on his rough cheek. "Sure."
*
Joanne didn't really want to go back home, but she wanted to change her clothes and maybe take a shower. She smelled like Dan, which wasn't so bad, but she didn't want other people smelling him on her. She needed to get back to her books. She wasn't sure how long they'd been in that hotel room, but it was definitely more than one day. They'd lazed there in bed for a long time with his skin against hers. She had this urge to fill the silence with talk, which was different for her. Joanne couldn't stop once she'd started and talked about any and everything. She elicited a throaty chuckle when she told him what she thought of him when she first met him. She got a few more laughs with stories from her childhood. Then, Jo started to explain what she figured he wanted to know. She started at the beginning.
"Jerry came over for piano lessons. I was horrible. The lessons ended. He kept coming over for dinner. I had a crush on him. What girl wouldn't? He was big and handsome, like one of Dad's paintings. At first, I was so happy he liked me. I mean, he could have any girl on that block, but he chose me. Little old me. That entire summer, we went almost everywhere together. Mom and Dad thought he was watching me. And, they thought he was the best thing for putting up with me. Huh. Well, you know what happened. After that, I tried to gain weight, but he liked me bigger. I tried hiding, but that didn't work, either. You see, he's the son they never had, so he was always there at the house. I couldn't stand being in my own home. I just started to find ways to be gone. I studied. I locked myself in my room and worked on being stronger. I sure was strong last night. I'm sorry I went crazy on you. You waited so long, and I messed it up," she droned on. She wasn't even sure he was listening after a while. She was sure she felt him next to her, but he didn't make a sound in response.
Joanne woke up when room service came. He made her stay under the blanket and fed her from the tray. Pancakes were not a good choice. He got syrup all over her and the comforter. He did his best to get the stickiness off of her arm with his mouth. The syrup added more sweetness to his already delicious lips. Then, they went back to sleep. It was familiar to do that, but it made her thighs warm. When they'd done it with clothes, there was this physical barrier and they had observed a strict boundary in the bed. He used to avoid her breasts. Now, he wrapped his arm around them and held her body against his. His caresses were less controlled under the covers, as well. Joanne couldn't drift off again, but concentrated on the sound of his breathing. When she finally decided to get up, she felt his lips on her ear and shoulder.
He murmured close to her ear, "Don't leave me, Jo. Can't we stay here?"
She said a quick, "No. I need to study. I've got to get home."
The shower at the hotel was too rough on her skin. She only got herself wet and dried off. The lack of a shower didn't seem to make Dan uncomfortable, but that was his thing. He seemed to take pleasure in the fact that she smelled like him. He even offered to go get her books, if she'd take her clothes back off. She held firm and demanded to go home, though she would have probably reconsidered with a stronger effort on his part.
On the walk up to her door, he put an arm around her and commented on the warm breeze. He hadn't done that in broad daylight, before. He'd been smiling a lot, too. 'Does sex really do that to men? I mean, I don't really feel like smiling, but I guess I'm doing it, too,' she thought. He touched his lips to her temple and held his hand out for her keys. That's when she remembered, "I don't have 'em. They were on the coffee table..."
"Not to worry. How much do you want to bet Jesse's waiting at the buzzer?"
