THE FAIR PRINCESS AND THE HOODED MYSTIC
By Dawn R
Author's Note: In my twenties, I read and enjoyed The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice, writing as A.N. Roquelaure. As I started to write this fairy tale, I realized that with my tongue firmly in my cheek I was mining from the same vein of gold. Enjoy!
Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a fair princess called Philomena Victoriana Gloriana Mud. Like many royal families, they had in a time even longer ago run a remarkably successful protection racket, which resulted in their owning all the land therefore earning the right to call themselves royalty. But throughout the embittered population their name was Mud.
Her elder brother took to calling her Philly and made a neighing sound whenever he was around her. The then three-year-old princess struggled with the pronunciation of her name and eventually decided she'd rather just be called Philme (as in filmy), which sounded rather cute. Her father, the king, had died a year ago, and now the kingdom was ruled by her mother, Intoxica.
Her mother ruled with an iron fist and established a new moral code as an absolute law. No sex before marriage and no completed coitus after two children had been born to a family. Married couples might still continue to enjoy a little heavy petting, but heaven forefend they should get carried away. You might believe this would be hard to monitor, but as all the people lived in houses made of the clearest glass, the police, known colloquially, as the Peepers had little trouble enforcing it. Oh, and the penalties for offenders were unspeakable and indescribable; so, we shall neither speak of them nor try to describe them. Oh, and one more rule, you may only enter by the front door, and everyone knew exactly what that meant.
Although the royal apartments were not made of glass (rank brings some privileges), the princess was closely chaperoned by her governess, an aged lady in waiting, who did not believe in the benefits of the young getting sex education. Indeed, it is highly probable she had never had any, either theoretical or practical, herself.
As it happened fourteen days after Philme's eighteenth birthday (note she is now over eighteen), the poor governess died. Being of a practical disposition the princess cut her up and fed her to her cats. Well, not all at once, little bits at a time, while she kept the rest in the icebox.
As Intoxica, who had her own wing of the castle and took no interest in her child trusted everything to the governess, the princess now found herself with a great deal of freedom. "What about her elder brother, the heir to the throne?" you ask. Well, unfortunately he had died of a surfeit of lampreys, when he was only fifteen. This was a not uncommon malady among the royalty in those days. So, our princess is actually the heir to the throne, which she will inherit when her ever-caring mama dies.
Having exercised her new-found freedom to binge-watch everything of interest to an eighteen-year-old on TV, the princess at last left her room to wander the hallways of her wing of the castle. Opening a door, she had not opened before, she found herself looking into a broom closet. What was more interesting was the fact that there were two people inside, a comely youth not much older than herself and a serving-wench possibly five years or so older on her knees sucking on his...thingummy.
"What are you doing?" she demanded.
The startled youth was speechless, but the wench rose to her feet and said, "His penis is very swollen, your Highness, and I was trying to ease his discomfort."
"No need to be so ceremonial, just say, milady, when you address me." said the down-to-earth princess.
Now the princess was not totally familiar with the word penis, but it did seem his thingum was indeed very swollen and it was sticking upright from his hose. "Perhaps if you could help me, milady, it would soon be cured. Now, although the princess was spoiled rotten, she had a generous heart and was always willing to learn new skills in a good cause. "Show me how." She commanded.
The wench helped her to kneel and place her hands around the young man's thingum. It was indeed very hot to her touch and she sincerely hoped it was not infectious, but braving all, she took it in her mouth and began at the wench's urging to suck on it vigorously. The sensation on her lips was quite pleasant and the youth began thrusting eagerly towards her with moans of obvious discomfort. All too quickly her mouth was filled with a stream of creamy liquid, which she quickly spat on the floor.
"Well done, milady. I think you have brought him much relief. No need to spit so hard, his emission will not hurt you."
"Thank you, thankyou!" breathed the young man.
"See the swelling is going down as we speak. You have done well, milady."
The princess felt quite proud of herself, as she rolled the interesting flavour around in her mouth.
"What is your name?" She asked the serving-wench.
"Destiny" lied the wench, using a name she used in her occasional evening employment.
"What a lovely name!" said the princess. "I am in need of a chief lady-in-waiting and I would be pleased if you would accept the position." She continued politely.
"It would be my honour and pleasure, milady."
The princess wondered meanwhile, if anyone would ever hear of her good deed and was suddenly ashamed at such a selfish thought.
Apparently, good news of good deeds travels fast for when she emerged from her room on the following day, there were five young men pleading for her help. "You'd best come inside" she said and ushered them into her chambers. "Drop your hose and let me see who is worst." They did as she commanded and she saw three of them were in sore need of help, the other two slightly less so.
With a sigh she dropped to her knees and began providing the necessary succour. Each in turn was successfully relieved and she was beginning to hope this stuff they emitted was not fattening. As she finished the third, she was shocked to see how much the state of the remaining two had worsened for both of them were already leaking a clear liquid from the tip of their respective thingums. Truth to tell she was beginning to tire, but remembering she was not called fair for nothing, she moved over to them and wiped the tip of the next one and before she could take it in her mouth his peeny...thingum shot a load of the creamy liquid on to her throat and the front of her blouse. "Now I shall have to change." She said angrily as the poor young man began to weep.
The last man's thingy was rather longer and bigger or perhaps just much more swollen, and she felt her mouth stretch as she sought to accommodate it. She sucked and swirled her tongue around it as her mouth adjusted to the size and he gently moved it back and forth. It took a while but finally she was rewarded with such a torrent that she knew he had been in need indeed.
Her good deeds gave her a great sense of satisfaction, but she was appalled when she opened her door the following morning to find was a long line up of men of all ages at her door. "This thing is spreading fast" she thought "maybe I should call the World Health Organization".
How to cope? She rang her bell and asked the maids who appeared if any were willing to help her in her task. All seemed surprised, but there were a half dozen or so, who went willingly to work. When she looked up it seemed they each had a short line in front of them of the most young and attractive of the men, while she had a slightly longer line of older and in some cases quite elderly men. Indeed, she sent more than half away to wash themselves before she would minister to them. It took time, but all were finally cured.
The next morning there were even more and what was disturbing was she recognized that a number of them must have gotten re-infected, because she had cured them before. Her jaw hurt and she realized she was overwhelmed and told them sadly they must seek remedy elsewhere. Because she was a fair princess, she asked Destiny to do her best to see they were helped, but also instructed her that they must come to her door no more.
The following morning, she woke up in bed with a strange not unpleasurable feeling between her thighs and almost in the pit of her stomach. She knew she had begun to feel it while ministering to the sick and discounted it as contentment from the good work she was doing. But now it was stronger and could not be ignored. She found her hand wandering to the area that the good governess had told her was forbidden until she was much older.
But now she reasoned she was much older, and she felt the moisture coming from that secret cave. She took her hand mirror as she had sometimes done before and looked at the little hooded mystic who guarded her cave. She stroked his hood and face and it felt wonderful. As her excitement grew, she let her fingers explore inside the cave until she found a treasure more pleasurable than the mystic. She was helpless to stop as she began to pant, and moan and the good feelings grew. Her muscles spasmed as she reached an unimagined climax.
She lay back again questioning whether this was in any way normal or had she contracted the disease that the young men had been suffering.
Reluctantly she confessed her fears to her newly appointed lady-in-waiting. "Milady, it is not serious but now you have experienced it once, you may well experience this feeling quite regularly."
"Is there a cure, sweet goodie?"
"There is no cure, but there is a remedy, if you choose to try it. It may seem strange, but it is also another way to help the men."
