The Diary

Please vote and comment. The only way I can grow as a writer is with your feedback. Everyone is over eighteen and I'm not giving anyone any spoilers on this one.

The Diary

Love is strange; it can come from anywhere at any time.

Mar 13

I must start a new diary today. I can't find the old one anywhere. I think he took it; not knowing it's mine. Today I endured another mauling. His friends don't care about anything but their wants. I feel so dirty.

Mar 20

A week's gone by, and I haven't seen him or any of his friends. It's strange how things come to an end. When we first met, I was sure he was the one. Now, I'm not so sure.

Mar 27

No sign of him or anyone else in two weeks. I know I should write more, but I haven't the heart; I'm crying every night. I thought he loved me.

Apr 18

Another mauling! I hate it when it happens, but I just can't stop them. It makes me feel so dirty and unwanted. I'll find a way to make it stop.

Apr 23

I know how to make it stop. I just don't think I have the strength to do it. I must try, to show to myself I can survive without him or his friends.

May 17

Today was something different. Another one of his friends came over, but this one was different. He was kind, soft and gentle. It felt so good. I think I was overzealous with my attentions, but it felt good.

May 30

The stranger showed up again. The two openly discussed things about me as if I weren't there. The stranger took me out again. This time he was gently probing, trying to get into my mind. If he would have me, I would go. Anything's better than the loneliness and abuse I get from him and his friends.

June 1

The little shit! He kicked me out. Just like that, and I was gone. After all the years, letting him and his cronies maul and hurt me, he kicks me out. He comes in here late last night and simply tosses me out on the curb. That a SHIT! What am I going to do now? How am I going to survive? Young and homeless, the things you're taught how to not let happen and here I am, both young and homeless. I should have never left home. Maybe someone can help me. I'm going to camp right here and have a good cry!

June 2

The stranger: His name is Jim, married to Laura. For now, he's my knight in shining armor; I don't care who he's married to. He found me camping on the curb in front of the little shit's house. I could see it in his face, he wasn't happy. How can he not know me and care? Anyway, he helped me up, put me in his truck and off we went. Throughout the ride he talked. He offered and I accepted his invite to move in. Just like that, and I move into another man's house. What have I become? I have no regrets leaving the little shit, but to quickly accept and move into another man's house, it boggles my mind. Jim's getting some sleep right now; he says we've a way to go before we get to his house. I should get some sleep to. I can't help but feel dread of what I'm about to move into. Anything's got to be better then what I've had. I can only hope and pray.

June 3

Today I moved into Jim's place. It's neat and big with plenty of space. It's so late now, I can't think straight, so I'll write some more tomorrow.

June 4

Today I met her, Laura. I'll be the mistress here as well. He spoke highly of me with her here, and like times before, she replied as if it didn't matter. I say, "Her Loss." We'll see what she does.

June 5

I thought for a while he wasn't going to show, but eventually he got here. I guess she's making her demands known. When he touched me tonight, it was with tenderness and curiosity. I couldn't hide my old injuries from him, I let him see what he wanted and did my best to be honest.

June 6

Just like the past boyfriends, this one also only comes when he wants. I believe he thinks I can take care of my own needs. Maybe he'll come and see me tomorrow; I've lived with it for so long, but still, it gets lonely at night.

June 7

I can't believe it! He spent the entire day with me. It was wonderful. I think he cares about more things then just what he sees on me. Jim's touch was soft and careful, and yet demanding. He touched parts of me no man has touched in over 19 years. The gifts he brought, no man has ever spent that much on me, and all at the same time. Oh, they are so lovely. For now, I'm going to sit here and look at all the wonderful things he's given me.

June 8

What a day! All I can say is WOW! I think I'm falling in love with him. First, he dressed me in some of the gifts he brought; next, we went for a run. It felt good to run with someone. Jim's good, but somewhat of a virgin, so I took it easy with him. He slipped a few times, but I was able to catch him in time. Not one curse, kick, or swipe, only gratitude and gentleness as he touched me.

June 9

I think I found my soulmate. Today he showed up and started working on my old injuries. When we went out for our run, I showed him what I was made of. It felt so good to stretch out. I had to be careful not to let him get hurt, but that was easy.

June 10

I'm beside myself in disbelief. Today Jim gave me a new wardrobe. It's so impressive! Laura was here when he started, she even helped, which is the strangest thing I've ever endured. The colors are just like anything I could have hoped for; he has such good taste!

June 11

Today it was just the two of us. It was only for a few hours, and yet, I can feel his love and tenderness as he touched me. He gave me a bath, and while his soft and gentle hands touched my body, I decided I would do anything to keep him.

June 12

Today marked the start of a new relationship between Jim, Laura, and me. They both came over, him in leather and Laura in a running suit. He paused to show how clean I was and turned to get something.

That's when Laura leaned in really close and whispered with a smile, "I know you two will play, and that's ok, but if you hurt him, I'll put you in the junkyard myself."

And with that, she climbed on my back and waited. If she only knew how much I loved him. As we headed out, I purred for them both, knowing I found a home where I was loved.

As he softly pressed me, she said, "Jim, she sounds like a new machine. To believe someone thought this motorcycle was worthless is beyond me."

I felt his hands on me as he answered, "All she needed was just some tender loving care."

Today I know I've found my soulmate and a place where I'm loved. Life is good.

June 15

I feel excitement in the air, but I don't know what's going on. They're packing for something big. Jim's attentions to me, with Laura right there astound me. Finally, they leave, and things get quiet, and I put it all together. We are going someplace special. I can feel the excitement they had as they milled about. Where? I don't know; it doesn't matter if Jim and Laura are there. I realized that I couldn't have Jim without Laura. I need Jim. I must have him. He's the light in the darkness I've lived in for so long. She's sweet, kind and lets us play. I wouldn't have it any other way.

June 16

This morning, we started out bright and early. We were driving into the sunrise for hours. Jim, Laura, and I flew down the country roads as if on wings. It felt so good. When we finally parked for the night, the sun had sunk below the horizon hours ago. I watched Jim as he set up a tent in the field, and Laura placed a tarp over me. I think I matter to her as well.

June 17

It's been another long day on the road. Today marks some firsts for me. For the first time I saw the ocean, so lovely in its shades of blue and green. The colors of the wardrobe Jim and Laura gave me. We had to stop early when it started raining.

June 18

Jim didn't seem himself today. He just wasn't himself. He was soft and gentle as usual, but something was different. We didn't ride as long as the other two days. While we rode along, they didn't talk as much. I know we're heading back home as we drove into the setting sun.

June 19

The days on the road must be taking their toll on Jim. He hardly talked the entire ride. And he's making mistakes like never before. I was able to help, and I know he felt it, but still, something is wrong. We'll be home tomorrow, and maybe things will be all right.

June 20

HOME! Yes! Jim and Laura seemed happy to be home. Jim's still not feeling well, but I'm sure he'll get better quickly.

June 21

No Jim, Laura, or anyone. What's going on? I can't remember doing anything wrong. Is he mad at me? I'll just sit here tonight and think about it.

June 22

Throughout the day and night there was total silence. Something bad is about to happen. I can just feel it.

June 23

Laura came into the garage and looked at me. As she got close, I could see it in her tear-filled eyes. Something dreadful has happened to Jim. I could feel her body shake when she touched me. Then, just as quickly, she turned and left. What's happened to Jim?

June 24

Laura came to me early today. As she looked at me, her hands touched me the same way Jim's did. I could feel her tears on me as her sobs erupted like little coughs. I know what's wrong. She can't have Jim. I can't have Jim. Jim is gone. We cried together for hours. Laura was sitting in his seat, feeling him through me, me feeling Jim through her touch. If only she could feel my grief.

June 27

I know Laura thinks of me as part of her family. She came to me as we shared our grief. Today we sat here in silence for a long time. Finally, she decided something and left. It felt good having her here.

June 28

Laura and a friend made some changes to my wardrobe today. I liked what they had in mind. The two stenciled a drawing of Jim's into my tank. Now I know I'll be with Laura and Jim for all time.

June 29

No one came today. Being alone in this big and empty place gave me time to think. Think of Jim, Laura, and everything else. Everywhere I look I see traces of Jim, but not him. Oh, how I miss him.

June 30

Laura showed up in her riding gear with her friend, the one who helped with the stenciling. He showed her, and she did exactly like he said. Shortly afterwards, he left.

Laura walked around and sat on the bench in front of me, "You are my Jim now. You must be. Of everything I can remember, you're the one thing he's wanted the most. When you came here, Jim was the happiest he's been in a long time. It's that happiness you gave him that makes it so important that you be my Jim now."

I could see the tears in her eyes, as my heart swelled as she continued.

"I can't be Jim, but I can be your Jim if you let me," she finished.

We cried together. It was a long time before we could catch our breaths, a mutual pact in place. I watched with pride as she put on her helmet, gloves, and jacket. When she mounted, it was as if it was Jim driving. With a soft and gentle touch, a firm guiding hand, we went down the road. And, just as it was with Jim, I made sure she was safe. I loved him so, and now her as much. Today I will stop writing in this book, and, just maybe, Laura will find it and know the truth.