Copyright Oggbashan June 2004
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
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It all happened because Janie was proud of my size. I'm not. I'm embarrassed by it. It frightens some women away. It makes other men jealous.
It's not as if it is a record breaker. OK. It is large and thick but it's an everyday big. It may be the largest in our town, but I'm fairly sure it's not the largest in the county and certainly not the largest in the country. It is fully operational. That I am proud about. I know it is big but so what? A normal woman can reduce its size in minutes and use it so much that I can't keep up with her.
I used to get comments in the showers after sport. By the time I was eighteen I used to drive home sweaty and shower in peace. It is the same situation as someone having an unusual name. The joke may be new to the speaker but I have heard them all dozens of times. The town knew I had a big one but since I didn't brag about it or wave it around it was one of the things that everyone knew. It wasn't a topic of conversation any more. That was preferable to being followed by small boys (and girls!) wanting to see it.
Janie appreciated my size. If she hadn't been so proud of it and hadn't wanted to show it off we might still have been partners. She put my tool to good use and she managed to accommodate it. Every woman I have dated has been able to manage after sufficient preparation. I am valued and liked for my foreplay. I have to take a long time to get a woman sufficiently aroused for her to attempt to engulf me. I am proud of my pussy licking and I am really skilled at it. I have to be. Most women lock their pussies tight when they see my erection the first time. After half an hour of pussy licking they start to relax. After an hour of it they would try to engulf a super-tanker. Even if the relationship doesn't develop we tend to stay friendly.
Why? How many men do you know who will pussy-lick for an hour? I'm told it gives the woman a great feeling that a man cares enough for her needs to spend that long arousing her. It helps that she knows that she is in control and I am literally at her feet. I'm tall and well built but all the women I've dated have never felt threatened by me, just in awe of my biggest asset. Once they have accommodated that, the awe has gone. Now I'm older I know that some of the women just wanted me for a trophy. They wanted to be able to tell their friends that they had humbled the biggest tool in town.
I had only been back in town a couple of months after five years away getting my Ph.D. and starting my own business. I'd just sold the business and had enough money to do whatever I wanted. Now that was pretending to farm.
Janie had latched on to me within a week of my return. I hadn't known that almost all the available men had married. I had been vulnerable because I'd been working so hard that I'd had no time for women except as colleagues. Janie hit me like a tidal wave and I was lost.
National Nude Day was near. Janie had an idea that she didn't discuss with me. If she had – I would have refused to co-operate. She wanted to show everyone that she owned the man with the biggest tool in town. She didn't expect me to parade down Main Street with my asset on display so she thought of another way to get me to show off. She knew that almost every attractive woman aroused me. I had to wear loose cut boxers and trousers to allow for the movement. Walking through town on a hot summer's day my tool would be standing up all the time as I passed women in light summer clothing.
We were expecting many of our friends to be around for National Nude Day. It wasn't planned that way. It just happened. Janie was the one with the plans. I didn't know that she had set up an event. She persuaded most of our friends before she set to work on me. I was lying in bed after an interesting evening when she told me.
"Matt?"
"Yes, Janie."
"You know most of our friends are going to be in town in a couple of weeks?"
"Yes?" I didn't know what Janie was after.
"Some of us have decided to make it an event. You know that Mr. Thomas has that clearing in the woods?"
"Yes. We used to go there on our bicycles when we were kids. It was a long haul uphill and a trek through the trees. I loved it. Why?"
"We are going to camp there for a couple of days."
"We are?"
"Yes. We, and all our friends."
"But you can't get to it by car."
"So? We carry everything in. It is only a couple of hundred yards through the wood. Mr. Thomas will move the sheep off before we get there. The spring is drinkable. We can wash in the stream. We've arranged a couple of portaloos..."
"How do they get there? There's no road or track."
"Mr. Thomas will take them in with his mini-tractor. He's measured the path carefully. He can just get through. It's all arranged."
"It is? Why didn't I know?"
"I wanted it to be a surprise. It might not have happened if Mr Thomas hadn't been happy to assist. Almost everyone's children are away so it's an opportunity that won't come again."
"Why are the kids away?"
"Some school trip, I think," she said.
I left it at that. I rather liked the idea of a weekend camping. I hadn't had a holiday for five years and setting the farm up, though a change, hadn't been a holiday. Eventually I might be busy at the farm when I had stocked it with rare breeds, but there was no stock yet. I could leave it for a weekend.
The one thing I didn't know and Janie didn't tell me was that we would be nude at the camp. The others knew and were looking forward to it, reliving their skinny dipping days. No one told me because they all thought I knew. Janie didn't tell me until we were on the way. I was still recovering from the shock when I arrived at the site pushing a wheelbarrow with some of our camping equipment.
There facing me was Louisa, stark naked. She still had the wonderful breasts I'd played with on vacation. They looked wrinklier around the aureoles. She'd had two - or was it three children? She rushed up to me and hugged me before I'd had a chance to let go of the wheelbarrow. Her breasts pushed against my T-shirt. Those breasts had been the stuff of my dreams for years. Their soft reality had the usual effect. She felt my tool press against her.
"I see you still know how to compliment a woman," Louisa whispered in my ear while pressing her fuzzy crotch to my shorts. My erection pushed back hard. I let go of the barrow and grabbed her for her a long kiss.
"Louisa," I panted as we broke, "You're a married woman!"
"So what?" she smiled. "You're an old friend."
I wasn't sure about her emphasis of 'friend' and even less sure when she pressed hard against my erection before breaking away.
"Come and meet some more of your friends," Louisa said, grabbing my hand.
"Later, perhaps, Louisa," I replied, dropping her hand if it was a hot coal. "I've still got two barrow loads to bring and the tent to erect..."
"We'll help with the erection... See you soon." Louisa wiggled her arse as she walked away to join a group of almost every woman I had dated sitting around a campfire drinking coffee. I could hardly keep my eyes away from that group. Some I had difficulty recognising because I had never seen so much of them before and others I had only felt and glimpsed in the dark back seat of a car in Lover's Lane.
I could hear the men folk and see flashes of naked skin as they were jumping into the swimming hole. When we were young it had been the favourite for skinny-dipping because it was isolated and the other swimming place could be seen from the road. As kids we had planted trees and bushes to screen the nearer swimming hole. Those now were an effective screen and the next generation used it for their skinny-dipping. The Chamber of Commerce had raised funds for a real swimming pool so our old place in the woods was unused – until now.
By the time Janie and I had unloaded everything and we had erected the tent with help from a gaggle of naked women I was hot and sweaty. I stripped off and headed for the swimming hole, creeping around the edge of the clearing to avoid close encounters like the one with Louisa. I wasn't sure how I could handle another encounter skin to skin.
I jumped into the water and gasped as the water was colder than I expected. I surface next to Bill, Louisa's husband.
"Hi, Matt," Bill said, "Good to have you back with us."
He held out his hand. I shook it thinking that I shouldn't have had such thoughts about his wife.
"I think you know everyone," he continued, waving his hand around the pool. I looked. I did. These were the guys I had hung around with in school. They looked a little older but not much. One or two had more flesh on them but that was the only change. Several waved at me. I waved back.
"Bill, how long have you known that this was a nude day event?" I asked.
