The Orangery was airy and lit naturally from the south side by floor to ceiling French Windows. These were now folded back alternately, along its whole length. A cooling breeze shifted the tied back lace curtaining and fans were dotted around the inner edges to further cool the room. It was large, fifty foot wide and nearly a hundred feet long. The high ceiling, vaulted and plastered, was sixty feet above the guests, it's covering of pale cream paint was interwoven with hand painted flowers. People mingled and talked in low tones, the occasional loud voice or rumble of laughter not really disturbing the peace.
Two people, unattached to any group, moved listlessly around and through the throng, until as fate decided, they met between two groups of happy chattering party goers.
"Hi!"
"Hi!"
They glanced at each other then around at the gathering. People with drinks and nibbles engaged in sparkling conversation, suits and cocktail dresses abounded. His DJ looked rumpled and well used, her knee length black dress, scoop necked and sleeveless looked stunning. He was six foot two, and a hint of grey at his temples betrayed his age, his messy hairstyle and boyish good looks showed a man turning towards middle age, a hint here and there of a crease, a line, or a wrinkle. She looked radiant, clear skinned, tanned lightly with little makeup, a single gold necklace at her neck, her blonde hair a stylish shoulder length, her legs long and tanned ended in feet encased in flat pumps. At almost six foot one, she was in every way his equal.
They glanced back to each other, she smiled, he smiled,
"I'm Josh, Josh Greening, Professor of Business Studies."
"Bill, Bill Gates, my sisters the Academic Bursar,"
"Oh! Issy is your sister then? She's a great lady, very efficient and neat, her husbands here too, I understand."
"Yeah Geoff. He's a great guy, love him to bits, he and Issy are so good for each other."
They looked away, then back, she smiled, he thought then blurted out,
"Hhmmph! Bill's an unusual girls name, whatever possessed your parents to... Sorry that was rude, entirely wrong, I apologise, mouth in top brain in neutral."
"No it's OK, no need, honestly. My given name is Wilhelmina, bit of a mouthful. The family shortened it to Willy, then Billy, then Bill." She shrugged and grinned.
"Issy is Isolde, although she pretends it's Isadora," she smiled, he smiled.
"Very Teutonic!"
She glanced round and back, smiled again at him. Silence! They tried to avoid direct eye contact, and glanced away again.
"Look don't feel you have to try to small talk with me, if you have someone who you want to see, you toddle off and go," he said with a concerned look on his face.
"No! No! it's just, well, I don't know anyone here and I'm over from home to visit and Issy insisted I come along, but I don't feel I fit in here that's all."
"Well you don't, you're far too pretty for one thing, and about fifty years too young for another." He grinned and took a small mouthful of wine.
"Oh my! that was a bit unexpected, are all Englishmen as candid as you?"
"No and yes but for future cultural reference we say "British" not English, it's a little too xenophobic for us to call ourselves English. We are, after all, a multicultural society here. We have diverse ethnic backgrounds and the British mongrel's made up of many individual breeds intermingled."
She giggled uncontrollably and her tall body shook with laughter. Several nearby heads turned and surveyed the sight of poor old Professor Greening blushing as an extremely attractive young girl laughed at him. They giggled and whispered, enjoying the professors discomfort.
"Bill are you OK?"
Issy walked up to her younger sister and placed a maternal hand on her shaking shoulder. They looked similar in many ways, both in features and height. Both were extraordinarily tall and willowy women, both looked, no shouted 'Class' he thought.
"Yes thank you Issy, Professor Greening is a most interesting and astute man, I could learn a lot from him."
She instantly dissolved again, as Josh Greening spluttered into his wine glass a huge grin on his face.
"Do Not! embarrass me or yourself Bill. Get a hold of yourself. Remember you are not at home now!"
Issy's rebuke was issued through gritted teeth as she leaned into her sister.
"Don't worry Issy, I'll take Ms...errr?" he stalled then continued, "...outside, or I may call you Bill?"
"It's Ms Gates, but yes of course, if I can call you Josh?"
"Absolutely, well let's away then, full speed ahead."
Josh crooked his elbow and Bill slid her slender arm through it. Clamping it tight Josh steered them through the room and out onto the patio outside the Great Hall, as Issy stood, mouth open watching them as they disappeared.
Stepping outside,into the late afternoon sun he was quite pleased to see all the heads turn and chins drop as he steered the exquisite creature on his arm out of sight.
"Well that was a right to do wasn't it?" he exclaimed as they stepped outside the building.
"I'm so sorry Issy is very protective because she thinks I'm going to screw up again."
"Again!"
"I have a rap sheet as long as your arm."
"What a lovely phrase, mixing English and American, so descriptive."
"Thanks,"
She walked slowly with him along the patio outside the building, looking across the sun dappled sloping grass lawn to where it met the river. A few lazy craft moved gracefully along the waterway. Several people, strolled, as they did, following paths dotted about the lawn and riverbank.
"So what is it that you do so badly Bill?"
"Well, there's the incident with the dessert at Thanksgiving, the time I tore my "New Dress" at a Society Ball revealing my underwear, and the small but inconvenient panty wetting when I was nine."
"Oh Dear! sounds awful."
"That's only the headlines, I've done far worse."
"Ah!"
"Yeah, I am one of natures true fuck ups, oh sorry!"
He grinned, and patted her arm.
"No worries, welcome to my world. I too am a master of the stupid. I could have done my PhD in fuck ups. I am a Triple A rated clusterfuck master."
"Wow, that is some resume my friend, wanna give me a swift overview of the history?"
"I'm afraid I'd be boring you, well more than I am at present."
"Come On! you are not boring me, I find this a fascinating topic. It's kind of building up to a seminar or something. 'Great Clusterfucks, a history', know what I mean?"
"Maybe we should call a Conference, invite the inept, if they can make it of course, and discourse on great fuck ups we have witnessed, caused, got damaged in."
"You may have a point there Prof. what say you and I find a bar and discuss this important and upcoming Symposium?"
"Well there's a pub just round the corner, much frequented by the students, especially those on my courses, where we can talk in relative peace and quiet, and eat if you wish."
"Won't it be kinda busy, what with the students?"
"Ahh, now here's the curious thing; on a Friday and a Saturday evening, they go to the Students Union, since it has a Happy Hour from four thirty until closing time."
"Helluva Hour!"
"Indeed, Drinks fifty percent off, that's two for the price of one. Jugs of beer at seventy percent less than the normal price are always very popular."
"How do you know all this Prof?"
"I used to be a student here some while ago, I remember the headaches vividly. And I performed some of my most embarrassing cockups at the SU on a regular basis."
"Do tell?"
They had turned off onto a path by the side of the College and shortly he steered her down a narrow passage until they came to a building that lay slightly back from the rest, creating an inner court with tables and chairs. A small narrow doorway set in the wall of the building served as the entrance. Although the entrance to the pub stood shut, there were a myriad of small lights inside at the windows, together with strings of fairy lights hanging from the wall to the wall of the next building, creating a semi Victorian feel to the paved area set back from the alley.
