Karen lay in bed propped on her pillows, head resting on one arm while her other hand kneaded the tender folds hidden in her slippery delta. Her mind raced through the events of the night before like a video on fast forward. She could neither pause nor slow it down. Scenes replayed again and again, dreamlike, the soundtrack badly out of sequence. Frenzied fingers kept up their futile work, desperately she tried to clear her mind and bring herself back to the present.
The illuminated red digits of the alarm clock proclaimed it to be 7:06am in its extra large, three inch display window. She had been home only four hours and slept not a minute. The little boys in the far bedroom were beginning to stir and would soon be up and sneaking into the den to watch Saturday morning cartoons. The teenagers, in the other room, would sleep another four hours. Karen needed sleep too but knew it was not going to happen.
"Happy Birthday to the smartest member of the family," read the front of the Shoebox Greeting card. Karen plucked it from its niche in the tiered display and opened it, "But that's kind of like being the most civilized monkey in the zoo." She grinned and decided this was the perfect card for her sister's birthday. Katherine held the highest degree of education in the family and they were very proud of her but she was still a very difficult person to buy for. This card suited her to a tee.
Karen started toward the checkout, not paying any attention to the tables and racks of clearanced books, cards, and stationary. She found what she was looking for and was ready to get home where the dinner dishes were piled in the sink and the laundry was stacked on top of the dryer, awaiting her return. There were only a few other people in the store and it seemed as if everybody wanted to check out at once. Karen fiddled with a rack of bookmarks, the other impatient hand placed on her hip.
"Hi," came a whisper from behind. Karen's ears did not recognize it at first but her body remembered the intonation immediately. She slowly turned toward the voice and returned the greeting. She couldn't believe it was him. "How's it going?" he asked in a tone that let her know that he wasn't sure what to say next but did not wish to be silent either.
"Just fine." She gave the banal but polite reply, nodding her head at the same time as if to make it more believable. Her brain would not function properly at this moment. The best she could do was to echo his very words, "How are things with you?" but she was unsure if keeping this conversation going was a good idea.
"Fine, fine," he responded also nodding for emphasis.
The line ahead had disappeared but Karen hadn't noticed. The cashier cleared her throat with an impatient growl and Karen dropped the card on the counter. "Four fifty nine," she muttered to no one.
The moving van finally pulled away, leaving the family at 1205 Noble Avenue alone in their new home. Boxes were stacked everywhere and Mrs. Parks was in a hurry to get the unpacking done.
Karen was busy organizing and decorating her new room. It was huge and accommodated all her furniture well but she couldn't figure out how to hide the bright moon-glow-blue walls and carpet. "How could anyone sleep with the street lights shining in and electrifying all this blue?" she wondered out looud, and what would her new friends think? She new that her mother would be painting and having new carpet laid throughout the entire house in a short time. Hopefully her room would be first.
There was a distinctly masculine knock at the kitchen door. Karen heard her mother using her upbeat we've-got-company voice and from the faux "happy to have a diversion" sound of it, she surmised, it was a neighbor making an introduction. Karen returned to the chore of setting up her room until her mother called for her. "Oh great," Karen grumbled, obeying her mother's command.
The introduction marked the onset of a very long un-relationship. Jake had a pretty rough reputation and neighborhood gossip soon reached Karen's parents. They forbid Karen to socialize with him but this did not discourage her overly, she regularly managed excuses to see him anyway.
The cashier handed Karen a pen to sign the receipt. Karen quickly tucked her card back into her handbag and turned to say good bye but no sound came from her mouth. Instead, she smiled and quickly fled the store into the cool misting rain.
Halfway across the parking lot, he caught up with her. "In a hurry?"
"Uh, no, no not really." Not really in a hurry to return home, as expected, where four children awaited help with their homework before she could attempt to conquer the evening's chores, she meant.
"How about coffee?" he offered.
Karen knew accepting his offer was contemptible but before her good sense kicked in, her lips began to move, "Sure, that would be great."
They ordered chocolate raspberry, no cream, no sugar. His favorite too, he claimed.
The tiny shop beside The Book Mart was crowded. It was chess night and players of all ages huddled around the tables. There was little conversation in the room. A little whispering and an occasional group "awe" could be discerned as each player negotiated his next move. Karen and Jake leaned close to each other over the barely two foot square table to prevent having to talk above a whisper. Even still, a little chortle now and then earned dirty looks from the players at the next table.
They talked about the pathways they had taken in the past twenty years. Life had been a constant struggle and a series of not so good decisions for both. There were multiple marriages and children, responsibilities and priorities that brought both contentment and contrition.
They had talked for over an hour. Lying in bed this morning, Karen tried but could not remember any part of the conversation shared. Her hand fondled her breast, gliding down her abdomen until it reached thick dark curls. She twirled and twisted them around her fingers. His sparkling peridot eyes allured hers. When she could pull them away, there was the subtle movement of his lips as he spoke that would not allow her to concentrate on his words. As a teen, she had dreamt of touching those lips to hers. What would they taste like? She often had fantasied. Now she knew. Her stomach jumped and her finger circled and teased her swollen nub.
