One day I came across my old diaries when I was spring cleaning. I flipped through them and was fascinated by the details I wrote on the events I gone through in my life. As I was reading the entries flashes crossed my mind recreating back those sweet memories. I only wished I could roll back the time, to be in that period of times I was happiest with my only love. I reflected on the relationship I had in my earlier years. It developed out of the blue from a casual interaction without me making much effort. I would say it just happened and led to a wonderful relationship.
Unfortunately it was cut short as if fate had a way to separate us. While I was in that relationship I saw happiest days. Something got to happen as if by fate. I hardly socialized as I was conscious of myself and sensed that men avoided me. I did not have a boyfriend; probably I would be considered a misandry. I kept to my teaching job. I taught in a boy school, my circle of males were mainly teachers in the school whom I did not have contact outside school hours. I simply didn't have the urge to get close to males and because I was temperamental and explosive by nature and obese not many males found attractive or wanted to come close. Even students kept a distance from me.
Obviously no male found me attractive. I was much a loner with low self esteem. When one day a student came and helped me picked up books I dropped, I was really surprised. I thought I was unapproachable. He was a pleasant looking student and offered to carry my books and paper to the teacher common room. Before taking leave he asked if I needed any more help. It made my day that a male did find me pleasant to engage in conversation. I thought maybe he was being helpful to a distress lady. I never did notice him before.
That was a start to change my life outlook. As usual I carried on my teaching work, went home, marked paper, watched TV, and sometimes played table games. I was an introvert; my life was mundane and quite predictable day in and out. I didn't see the student for a month or so, not that I was on the lookout for him but subconsciously his image often crossed my mind and I thought what he was doing. Then one day after school dismissed I had a load of paper to carry home for marking. Suddenly a gush of wind sent some flying away. I was at a loss how to retrieve them when that student appeared again unexpectedly.
He rushed about chasing them and retrieved all to my relief. He carried them to my car. I was grateful and offered him a ride home. As there were many things I had to carry to my home, he declined saying I better drove home and he would help to carry all the paper and books up to my home. After that he would make his way back home instead. He was such a sweet boy. At least he was not frightened off by my reputation of an unfriendly countenance. He stayed for a drink and we had small talks. He added I was really an approachable lady quite unlike what students thought about me.
"Was I that bad?", I asked laughingly.
I did opened up more and said other than school I had no other activities. I was an uninteresting person peoples especially guy tend to avoid. As if to make me felt at ease, he said he didn't think so.
To prove his point he chirped, "Here I am chatting away merrily with you".
I didn't know I could banter with him so freely. We made arrangement to go jogging the weekend before he left. He made my day. Even my nanny noticed I appeared cheerful and was not my usual grouchy look. She looked at me. I knew what she had in mind but didn't say to make me dejected. I was much older than him. I was back to my sulky look. But I took courage and looked forward to weekend.
He came early in his running gear, waited for me to change and off we jogged around the park in my neighborhood. I was not fit, was overweight and never exercise. I tired out in a short while. I was feeling pain in my joints and limping. He held round my armpits and helped me to the bench. I had never been so close to a male; feeling uneasy about our body proximity though he didn't take advantage of me. He massaged my legs with medication which he always carried when he went jogging while looking at him with sensual thoughts flowing in my mind. He was full of encouragement telling me not to be distraught.
"It get better with time, go for brisk walk instead to loosen the stiff joints".
I looked at him and marveled that he was a thoughtful guy. If only he was my age. Then maybe I could have a chance to find companionship with him. A silly thought at best I day dreamed. Indeed he was a nice companion. He had a way of making jokes of insignificant and mundane incidents, played down severity of things to ease me.
We spent weekend together walking in the park. My short temper mellowed down, more jubilant and glowing cheerfully than before. I stopped throwing my temper around. My nanny, whom I was close commented I was a totally different lady, became so dainty.
"That the way a lady should be".
Nanny said looking at me teasingly. She brought me up and knew my character well. Was he the cause of my change? I knew I was happy when we were together. He walked into my life and as if by fate we clicked so naturally.
From that day we met more often. Going to jog, movies and listened to music at my place. He was a thoughtful guy. He never wanted me to spend on him or on us. Maybe he was a bit self conscious that he didn't have money. So most time we spent time in outdoor activities. He was a cool guy, encouraged me to be less conscious about my plus sized body.
I was most reluctant when he took me shopping for beach wear. He was composed and in control of situations coaxing me to be brave while going from shop to shop picking up a piece which he said suited me. I put it on at home and he was full of praise how I looked enchanting in swim suit showing off my curves and contours.
"You're enchanting, teacher. A pack of eager men will come calling!".
