I looked up the last flight of stairs as I set my suitcase down, trying to catch my breath for a moment after already having dragged it up three flights.
I was seriously debating on just leaving it there, living out of it as it stayed on my staircase for the next few days until it was light enough to not be such a torture to transport.
This wasn't the first time I was regretting living in a building that didn't have an elevator, but the rent was cheap and it was a ten minute walk away from the campus. You win some and you lose some.
I took another deep breath, picking my suitcase up again, forcing myself through the last flight up as my muscles screamed at me, finally making it then. Making use of the wheels on the suitcase once again, I headed down the hallway towards my apartment, pulling my keys out my pocket as I walked.
I didn't know where to look first when I walked into my apartment, the mess that was everywhere or my roommate/best friend, that was sprawled out half naked on our couch with a fan blowing on him.
"Jesus Christ Ethan."
He raised his head as he looked over to me, still standing in our doorway as I took the state of our place in. "Oh hey, you're back."
"You would know that if you checked you're phone more than once a week."
He rolled over onto his back, scratching his stomach as he shook his head at me. "No thank you."
I went over to where he was, dropping down onto the couch next to him as he sat up, making some space for me.
"I'm gonna go use the bathroom real quick and then you can tell me all about Seattle." He got up, giving em a quick kiss on the cheek before turning away, stretching as he walked out of the room then. I stayed where I was, waiting for him to come back, I wasn't even sure where to begin when it came to my summer.
There was the part where I was left alone to run a cafe with no idea what I was doing, the part where I had run into the father of my childhood best friend, remembered how hot he was and spent several weeks trying to get him to stop seeing me as the kid that used to come around his house, the part where a tree fell onto my house and almost killed me, or the part where I got the father of said childhood best friend to fuck me finally, and then again and again over the last few weeks?
I knew Ethan wouldn't care where I started, as long as I gave him all the details.
This was our third year of living together, having met towards the end of my freshman year at the university when it turned out we had been dating the same guy, both of us quickly kicking him to the curb then as we hit it off.
We had a lot in common, particularly our taste in men, and living with him for the most part was fun, even if he did tend to go into little depressive episodes while letting the place go to shit in the process, he always made up for it by being the best friend you could ask for.
As I had assumed, Ethan ate it all up, wanting more details than I was willing to give. "You got a picture at least? I wanna know what he looks like."
I shook my head at him. "No photos sorry." I let out a small sigh, already anticipating his next question. "And he doesn't have social media either, I already checked."
I gave him a cheeky grin. "Just think Henry Cavill but with tattoos and a five o'clock shadow."
Ethan raised his eyebrows at me. "Damn, lucky."
I didn't say anything back, daydreaming for a moment as I thought about the night before, the way he had made sure to give me a proper send off on my last night in Seattle.
"So when you going to see him again?" Ethan asked after a moment, bringing me back out of my thoughts.
"We're not."
"What? Why?"
I let out a sigh, shrugging my shoulders sadly. "He says I shouldn't waste my time on him, the age difference bothers him." I gave Ethan a small side eye, knowing he was going to get a kick out of this next part. "And also, I used to be best friends with his daughter, she would kill us if she ever found out."
Ethan's mouth fell open for a moment before he guffawed, swatting my arm with the back of his hand. "Lexi, you did not."
"Oh, I did." I gave him another cheeky grin, winking then. "Several times."
Later that night I was lying in bed, beyond exhaustion at that point after my flight back to Phoenix that morning followed by spending the rest of the day to clear out Ethan's depression cave so that the place looked like an actual apartment again, and yet unable to fall asleep.
I had spent the last weeks falling asleep next to Daniel, my bed felt empty and strange, like it wasn't even mine.
There was nothing more that I wanted to do right than roll onto my side, place my hand on his chest, feels his hands on me, hear his voice, whispering low and seductively in my ear.
I couldn't even call him since he had refused to exchange numbers, saying there would be no way we would be able to stick to our no contact deal if we were to do that. He was right, I would have already called him if that were the case.
I never should have agreed to it, should have spent more of my time trying to convince him that the whole thing was idiotic. The age difference didn't bother me one bit, I know when an older man is trying to manipulate me and when he is genuinely interested in me, or like to believe so at least.
And I knew Daniel was nothing if not interested, it was already obvious from just the way he would look at me. There was a desire in his eyes in those moments that I had never seen I another man's eyes when looking at me.
The way he would smile to himself, watching me when he thought I wouldn't notice.
The feeling of his hands, so frequently finding their way to my waist as he inhaled slowly, as if he was taking all of me in in one deep breath.
I eventually gave up on sleeping in my bed, grabbing my blanket then and heading into Ethan's room where I then nudged him, trying to get him to move as he was stretched out across his bed.
He peaked an eye open at me, making a small groaning noise. "What?"
"Move, I'm sleeping in here tonight."
He did as I said, giving me some space as he flopped onto his back, speaking groggily. "What's wrong with your room?"
"Everything."
He made a small mumbling sound, already returning to his dreams as I got settled next to him, feeling a little better as they space next to me was filled at least.
The next weeks continued much the same, even after classes started up again, no matter what I was barely able to get Daniel off of my mind.
Not only was this problematic for the obvious reason, I was in my last year of university, the one year that really mattered, I had several internship opportunities coming up and this kind of distraction was the last thing I needed.
Even Ethan was slowly growing tired of it, no longer interested in me crashing in his room on nights where I couldn't sleep, finally snapping at me in the third week of my turmoil. "Either find a way to contact him or go find a guy that bangs you good enough so you forget him already."
I knew he was right, even if his second suggestion didn't sound like much of an option to me at that point, I had to find a way to move on.
What was I going to do though? Send him a post card and ask him to call me?
A different option hit me later that evening when I was in the shower, it was a little out there but worth a try at least.
I went back into my room after my shower, leaving Ethan to himself in the living room as I flopped down onto my stomach on my bed and reached for my phone.
There were two landline numbers I remembered from my childhood, mine, and Cara's, having dialed it on the daily after school.
My mom still had her landline connected for whatever reason, so maybe Daniel would too.
If not, there's always postcards, right?
I put the number into my phone, hesitating for another moment, this was borderline crazy and I knew it. The thing though was that if I didn't do this I was going to legit go crazy.
I hit the call button and brought my phone up to my ear, nervously pinching at my bottom lip as it began ringing.
There were several rings before he finally picked up, sounding baffled on the other end.
"Hello?"
I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out as I realized how insane this actually was, Daniel spoke into the other end again after a moment. "Hello?"
"Holy shit, I can't believe it actually worked." I finally spoke, not wanting him to hang up on me, there was a pause on the other end before he spoke again, quieter this time. "Lexi?"
"Yes." I answered him, letting out a short nervous giggle then. "I can't believe you actually still have your house phone."
I heard him laugh quietly on the other end. "To be honest I forgot I did, it took me a minute to figure out where the ringing was coming from." He continued after a short pause. "It's nice to hear your voice though."
I smiled to myself as I rolled onto my back, feeling a lot less nervous now that I was talking to him.
"Yeah? I thought you might get mad or think it's weird."
"It's only weird because I was just thinking about you." Daniel replied, still speaking quietly, as if he didn't want someone to overhear us.
