I guess it's no surprise to most people, but I thought college would be more quiet and dead in a lot of ways, but every week is the same thing. Maybe a guy or two streaking through the halls at all times, a dorm room filled with drunken idiots constantly hollering at no one about nothing, trying to stick their manhood anywhere and the women who should just put a sign that says "Open for Business" hanging from they're hips trying to suck anything to arouse the boys - even if they're not horny, but that's sorta a laugh because so far everyone with a penis in this damn place always seems to have a permanent flag pole in their pants.
As an 19-year-old woman, I guess it doesn't bother me so much considering the type of friends I had back in high school. What pushes my buttons is that my roomie doesn't seem to understand that not everyone on the entire campus wants to know where he's stuck it and how many girls he's apparently "plowed through" over the week. Really, if his tiny brain can't comprehend that I don't think his skills on how wet he can get a girl in five seconds is impressive, then I have lost hope for all of mankind.
Tonight happened to be the night before a huge English test I had to cram for almost four hours straight earlier before my body was aching to be engulfed by my bed, but I guess Cody had some other plans for us because as soon as I was over-the-hill asleep, he came barging in like a madman, falling over anything that presented itself in the way of his jumbo feet. Normally, Cody came home drunk or at least half-assed drunk and would stumble to his bed before crashing into it like a building, but tonight he seemed a lot more lively and scatter-brained. I had to turn my light on after I heard something crash to the floor, which I found out was a mug of his.
"Cody, what the fuck, dude? It's one in the morning."
I glared at him, trying to rub the bright from my eyes. He didn't seem to notice I was there, I'm guessing, because he jolted from where he was crouched, picking up the glass, and stared at me wide-eyed.
"Jamie, you's don't lived here."
I sighed as he slurred his words and rolled my eyes.
"Okay then, tell me where I do live then?"
"I don't know, but dyke's don't get to live in my room."
My eyebrow twitched up at that remark, wondering where the hell he gets this stuff from before I spoke up again.
"What makes you think that?"
"You never have any guys o-over and er'body knows you gotta fuck at least one stud before someone goes to thinkin' yous lick pussy."
I laughed out loud on that one because in all honestly I don't think I heard a more ridiculous statement in all my life. By this time Cody had started fumbling through his drawers, intent on finding something when he started going through my drawers and to be blunt, he was pissing me the fuck off now. I was already standing by my bed when he started in on his bullshit story on sexuality, so it took me no time to hurry over to him and slap him upside the head. It didn't cause the reaction I wanted, he barely stopped looking long enough to acknowledge the fact that I had smacked him. So I did what any sensible woman would do: I screamed so loud in his ear that he had no choice but to save the value of his eardrum and stumble backwards.
"What the fuck, Jamie?!"
I picked up my clothes that had fallen out during his hunt and turned to face him, giving my best glare and using my index finger to poke him in the chest.
"Look, fuckhead. I already have bad luck of sharing a dorm with you and quite frankly, your drunkass is pissing me off more than usual. Don't lay a hand on my goddamn stuff again or we have a problem, got it?"
I hoped by the look he gave me it meant that he was at least a little worried and taken back by my half-assed threat. He gave no response, but a sort of grunt and he shoved passed me to get to his bed. I smiled to myself since I know if I had said that while he was sober, he wouldn't have backed down so easily. Considering his size also made me a little proud of myself, him being a whooping 6'1 and well built was like comparing a huge oak tree to a twig. I'm the twig in case that little metaphor didn't get you caught on.
I'm only 5'4 and sure as hell skinny like a twig. It's more of a curse than a gift like some girls here make it seem. I have some muscles, but not enough to actually beat the famous Cody Barren. I'm sure my smack to his head back there pretty much made that clear enough. I looked over at him while he snorted and then farted. I sighed, rolling my neck back and forth before going back into my bed. Why I get myself into these shitty situations is beyond any one's normal train of thought.
-=-=-=-
"Wake the fuck up, bitch!"
My eyes slowly dragged open and immediately shut tight against the stream of sunlight beating down against my face. I turned off the alarm on my phone that Kasey, my good for nothing best friend, kindly made for me without telling me how to set the ring so now I'm stuck with it. Have been for over three months and it's such a nice way to start the day. I sat up in my bed and tried to untangle the sheets from my legs for what seemed like ten minutes. Grumbling, I headed for the bathroom, punching Cody's foot as I passed to wake him up. All I got was loud, abrupt snort. Fine. The hell if I'm gonna be late for class because he's a drunken fucktard. After I showered, brushed my teeth and combed my hair into a tie, I heard a very loud crash come from the room. I ran out as fast as I could to see Cody standing by my dresser that was now laying on the floor with splinters of wood sticking up and out of it, clearly shit now.