There's a little while to go before everything completely unravels, so you can relax. I'm telling you about one of the happiest periods of my life. Maybe it was the happiest, I don't know. It's hard to judge something like that. I went to bed that night full of melting happy tenderness. I could hardly have felt any better, could hardly have felt any more positivity for Ed, for the relationship growing up between us. I knew that I wanted him long term. And I would put the work into making that happen. Romeo hopped up onto the bed, something he does sometimes not to be with me as such, but just because he finds it comfortable there. He turned his back to me. Softly, I sang him a song, a lullaby, because I couldn't not sing. Even the large damp patch on the duvet, which I had caused in the throes of myself-pleasure, didn't bother me one bit. In fact it was a nice memento of what had gone on earlier, what I had done. With all those happy thoughts and many more, I fell asleep.
The next day, Friday, I dodged the girls at lunch so that I could call Brian. We had arranged to catch up, and I was bursting to tell him all about recent events, and as soon as we'd exchanged the briefest of pleasantries, I recounted the story. Or at least most of it. I played down my infatuation a little, so that he wouldn't scold me for getting carried away. And I didn't go into full detail on the intimate events which had taken place. But I gave him plenty to chew on.
"Wow, that's really something. So unlike you! Are you alright?"
"Yeah I'm alright, why wouldn't I be alright?"
"It's just so... out of character. You're normally so, erm..."
"- boring?" I said, interrupting his attempts to find a non-insulting adjective for me.
"No, I wasn't going to say that. I was going to call you cautious. Careful."
"Okay, sure." I was out in the courtyard between our office and several very similar offices. Some days I felt like a clone working a clone job in a clone building. But not on that Friday. On that Friday I was safe from those depressing thoughts.
"It's normal to be a bit like that, after the luck you've had. Anyway, sorry, yes, I am happy for you, and he sounds bloody good. And I'm glad you're finally getting some, you've been out of it for ages. You need a good seeing to every now and then just like everyone else. And I know better than anyone how frustrating it is when you can't find anyone decent to do it with!"
"We haven't actually done 'it' yet, as such," I said, kicking a piece of gravel. "But I know we will soon. I want to. I just want it to be right."
"Cool, makes sense. When are you seeing each other next?"
"I'm over at his house tomorrow evening, dinner with his housemates."
"Scary."
"It is a bit. I don't know what to expect. But it should be nice, I think."
"You'll charm the hell out of them," said Brian with a confidence that inspired me. We chatted for a bit longer, about a new project at his job, and the various ways in which his sister was driving him mad with her various life crises, and then we said goodbye. He told me to be myself, to enjoy meeting Ed's friends, to be brave about the whole thing. And I said that I would be.
The rest of the day was easy. I did my thing on spreadsheets and systems and even some old-school paper files. Daisy came by my desk to check on some things and said that I was looking 'all rosy and chipper', clearly fishing for gossip pertaining to why on earth I was smiling so much, but I fended her off with my extremely vague responses, and she got bored and left me alone. At home I messaged Ed and he sent me the address, and time, for Saturday, along with some nice words about how much he was looking forward to me. I fed Romeo and fed myself, and hunkered down on the sofa beneath two blankets, and with hot water bottle, to watch a documentary about politics in the USA in the build up to the last presidential election. That's one of my secret pleasures. Although not truly a 'secret', more something that nobody would be curious enough to find out. I like the depth of it, the layers of intrigue. Something about the drama and division calls to me. Perhaps I should be worried about that. But it's not important, it's not relevant to this story that I'm telling you. I won't mention US politics again. Probably. I probably won't. What I'm saying is that the Friday evening was a chilled one, and I felt happy, and excited for the next day, feeling that I was about to take another step forward with Ed, and that meant a lot to me. A level of optimism that I hadn't reached for ages. And that night I slept beautifully.
"How do I look?" I opened my arms to Romeo, showing him my final choice of green corduroy dress, down to the knees, black tights, brown brogues. Black cardigan over the dress, that I hoped to be able to shed if the house was less perilously icy than my flat. Romeo just stared back at me, from his bed by the radiator in the corner. "Okay, well I think I look nice. I think I look very presentable." I picked up my handbag and slung it over my shoulder, then took a long last look in the mirror. I'd put my hair into a bit more order than usually, I'd straightened it and it hung down to the small of my back. I liked it like that, and liked the dark brown against the dark green of the dress. I made a mental note to do my hair like that more often, and then put my bag down again and went back to the loo because I needed to wee again. Nerves, probably. A minute later I was out of the door, stepping out into the dull cold afternoon, but grey skies could not get me down, no sir.
I got the bus to his side of town. It's not really in the town, although it's got the postcode. I was curious to see somewhere I knew by name only, but of course it was essentially just like the town except a little bit quieter. The same terraced streets of red-brick houses built for millworkers around a hundred and fifty years ago. I checked my phone for the location, and walked there slowly because I was early. I'm almost always early, and I've been like that forever. I hate the idea of keeping someone waiting, or having to rush. I don't like the stress of it. I'll happily arrive early and have a little saunter round, and take it easy. I'm well aware that it's impolite to arrive more than five minutes early as well, so don't worry, I never do that either. And so it was that I ended up ringing the bell dead on six pm, just as I'd been asked to. It was answered by a skinny man with a baseball cap and a faint moustache. He looked me up and down.
"Yes? Can I help you?"
I felt like this was a little joke he was doing, I knew I had the right address. "Hopefully you can."
"We don't want to buy anything, sorry." He shook his head but his acting was sub-par, I didn't buy the annoyance he'd tried to slap onto it.
"Oh, that's a shame. Anyway, I'm Lizzie."
He grinned widely, almost manically, but somehow it was charming. "I know, I was only joking. Gareth. Nice to meet you." He offered his hand and I took it and received a firm and wet shake. "Oh, that's a very clean wet, don't worry. I washed my hands to come to the door. I was chopping onions when you knocked. Come on in."
"Thanks very much. How's your day going?"
"Oh, fairly well thank you. I've been slaving all day at the coalface of the desktop --I'm a programmer. I work from home, it's not a bad deal. Just a bit tiring sometimes. Not that I get an ounce of sympathy. And then Mary came back from her bike ride and told me off for not feeding our snake -- we have a snake. And then I remembered I was supposed to get started prepping the soup, so that when Ed got back we could get onto the pasta bake, and I've been rushing around making a mess of everything."
"Maybe I can help with something?" Normally I would feel guilty if anyone had been put to any trouble for me, but I got the sense that Gareth was jus tenjoying playing to a new audience.
"Oh no, no no no. No. No no no. You come through to the lounge, sit down on the sofa, righ there. I'll call for Mary. Mary!! Mary!!" I wanted to put my hands over my ears as he yelled in the general direction of the stairs, but to do so seemed rude, so I endured it. "Mary!! Lizzie is here!"
Some kind of unclear response was yelled down, and Gareth did a weird little bow and slipped off back to the kitchen. I looked around. This was a big lounge. And nice windows overlooking a significant garden, slightly overgrown but not in a bad way, with thick grass and flowers and a few noticeable weeds. A big stone birdbath in the middle of it, with a feeder alongside. A few little creatures were using it at that moment -- sparrows? Maybe. I now nothing about birds. The room itself had three long grey sofas covering most of the perimeter, and then an expanse of sky-blue carpet. White walls, the shade sometimes referred to as Magnolia. Adorned with framed posters of old films and classic rock albums. One corner held a tall bookcase, the other a small TV. I headed over to the bookcase to investigate. There was quite a lot of what looked to be science-fiction, none of which I recognised but then it's not my area. History books, about the English civil war, the Spanish civil war, the American civil war. Someone here was very interested in internal conflict. I wondered if all the books were Ed's or not. A lot of cookbooks. And a whole row of Victorian fiction, which I was pleased to see. Hoping for sometime later to question Ed on his favourites, I scanned the other spines, and saw an eclectic mix, all kinds of genres. Then creaking stairs announced Mary's arrival, and I turned around and put on a big friendly smile to meet her as she came through the doorway.
"Liz? Nice to meet you, I'm Mary.
"Nice to meet you too. Normally people call me Lizzie. Not that I actually care either way." We didn't shake hands, instead did that awkward little wave, which I really don't like. But she was holding two glasses so there wasn't much choice anyway. My first impression of her was that she was beautiful. Stood there in a short white dress adorned with colourful flours, her legs were long and tanned, climbing up to shapely hips and a waist that went right in, just like I wished mine did. I quickly brought my gaze back to her face. Lovely delicate features, and her hair in a blonde bob, it really suited her.
"Lizzie, okay, I'll remember that. People call me all kinds of things, but that's mainly at work."
"Yeah, Ed told me you work in a bar?"
"Yep. It's okay sometimes. I don't mind it. And Gareth works from home so even with my weird shifts, we get to spend a decent amount of time together. And Ed's great, he really is. He's a great person to live with, we like him a lot. Hey, sit down, let's chill out. The boys can make dinner. Maybe we'll help set the table or something."
She sat at the edge sofa furthest from the door, and I took a place on the one beside it, so that where they almost met in the corner we were half-facing. She really was a looker. But I chased away the instinctive envy. Forget it. Mary passed me one of the drinks, and told me it was port, said that she and Gareth had developed a small obsession with it, and she hoped I didn't mind it but if I did there was some beer in the fridge that she could get me. I said it would be absolutely fine, and had a good sip and complimented it, and she smiled. Wow, immaculate teeth. We talked a bit about my job, and then about the area they lived in, and where they had been before, and other general, safe topics. There was something intense about the way she looked at me. But she was nice -- really nice in fact, and easy to talk to, and calmer than Gareth. I wondered how they had ended up together, and what the arguments that Ed had mentioned revolved around.
We heard the door open, and Ed and Gareth exchange greetings, loudly and with sounds of slapping and bumping.
