Later that year, Joel Hodgson launched his Mystery Science Theater 3000 Kickstarter. Cautious as I was, that didn't stop me from going out to every one of my professors asking if they needed help with
anything
, because I wanted to give as much as I could. I managed to collect two hundred bucks for various odd jobs around campus, all of which went to the revival.
I almost called Ji-yeong about it, but I asked Mom to pass it on instead; she needed her space, and as sure as I was that she'd be excited to share this with me, I thought maybe it wasn't worth violating the space she needed right now. I figured I'd see her next month, and we could geek out about it then. I was excited.
But when I came back home for Winter Break, Ji-yeong had conveniently gone back to Seattle to finally settle Chad's affairs. Mom went with her for support. Dad stayed here. And the jig was up; it was obvious something profound had happened between me and the girl down the street.
"...You're not mad, are you?" I asked, while we were putting up the Christmas tree in the den. "Or even just disturbed?"
"Why would I be? I mean, did you two have a relationship like that before she left for college?"
"Absolutely not. I mean, I always had a big crush on her, but it's not like she had one on me too."
"Well, there you have it. I don't see a problem; neither does Mom. Yeah, technically she babysat you, and if this was happening when you were 10 or even 14, we'd be pissed. But you were one way when you were kids, you both grew up, and now you're another way. Let's take a break."
We sat down on the couch. Or rather, I sat down while Dad went into the kitchen and came back with two bottles of Sam Adams, already opened. Then he sat down and passed one over to me.
"You know how proud I am of you?" he asked while I took a swig of beer. "You know how hard it is to let go of someone you love, even when you know it's the right thing to do?"
"I dunno," I told him. "There was a moment when I first realized how this was going to happen, or how it
had
to happen. And then I just...mellowed out. I guess I eventually realized that I didn't want the relationship we were going to have if she stayed."
Dad nodded. "Well, before your mother and I got married she was up for this fellowship in England, and I pretended like I was okay with it. At this point we'd only been together eight months, and I kept trying to tell myself that it wasn't long enough to get attached to her...but I was.
"We had this very elaborate 'last date' planned, where we were going to do everything we loved doing together: go to the movies, dinner and dancing, walk on the beach at sunset, then I'd drive her to the airport. Well, while we were on the beach, I just broke down and begged her to stay. I told her that I'd spent the past couple of months looking at it from every angle and I just had no idea how to be without her. She talks me down, and we finish the night as planned.
"I got home that night and I didn't sleep
at all
. I kept telling myself that it was for the best, that she deserved to be successful, who was I to stand in her way, you know. 4 AM, there's a knock at my door...it's her. She couldn't get on the plane. She spent all night just driving around the city in a rented car, trying to figure out what to do, and finally she just decided she had to see me. We were married a year later."
"That's a hell of a story," I said, unable to close my jaw. "I thought you only saw that kind of romance in movies."
"Was it romantic, though? Really?" Dad sank into the couch, his head dropping back in a sigh. "Don't get the wrong impression, Pete: We're still in love. Our marriage isn't perfect, but even when it's bad, it's never bitter. Still, sometimes I lie next to your mother at night and I wonder if I stopped her from doing something...
more
than this, you know? As far as I know she has no regrets, but frankly, I'm afraid to ask."
Dad braced his arm around my shoulders. "You're a better man than I was, Pete. That's one of the best things a father could hope for from his son."
I'd never describe my dad as "emotionally distant," but we never had a heart-to-heart like this before. Even now, I still can't really describe how it made me feel. I was glad he opened up to me, though; it made him a little more human in my eyes, and I guess it made me feel a little less conflicted about the situation with Ji-yeong.
So naturally, things took a sharp left turn from there. "Hey," he asked, "there's been this faint smell, I don't know if you noticed it, did you...do we need to, um, steam clean these cushions?"
I didn't know how to answer that. Which turned out to be answer enough.
Dad nodded, and quickly rose off the couch. "Don't let your mother find out," he said, before shock-shuffling to his office to see where he could rent a steamer.
* * * * *
Over winter break, I interned at Back Porch Studios, a new-ish developer in Boston. They were developing a free-to-play PC game,
Dominion
, that was already doing pretty well in Steam Early Access. They liked me, and were willing to bring me on full-time once I graduated. The pay was about comparable to what any entry-level code monkey would get—that is, shit. And I preferred to be doing the epic narrative-driven games that got me interested in the form in the first place. But it felt like that was the realm of the big studios that I was a little squirrely about joining right off the bat. This was close to home, and I liked the atmosphere around them; if nothing else, it seemed like a good place to get my feet wet before transitioning to a more established studio, or maybe even kickstarting an indie career.
So as my final semester at Bedford marched on, I became laser-focused on my last handful of classes and getting my thesis finished so I could graduate on time and start my job. I barely remembered Game Night, I struggled to keep up with Bernadette's occasional texts, and I had to flat-out set reminders to call Mom and Dad each week.
As often as I talked to my parents, they only brought up Ji-yeong once. I was told that she finished liquidating all of Chad's assets in Seattle and was going to use some of the money to try finding herself on a road trip through the US; a journey that she decided to chronicle on Instagram. She never took any selfies, but the pictures she did post seemed to count for more than your typical "#blessed" crap. I considered making an account just to follow her, but in the end, I felt like she needed space. Honestly, so did I; hard as it was, I never went back to that page.
I pulled through, of course. Graduation weekend loomed, and I was slowly moving out of my dorm with the help of my parents, who took a whole week off so they could take their time and bask in the SoCal sun. Friday was going to be the day to unload all the non-essentials; I was watching
Deja Vu
on Bedford's movie channel, waiting for a knock on the door to tell me that the truck they rented was ready to load. Once I heard it, I got up to let them in. "Guys," I said as I opened the door, "I know Southland traffic is insane, but—"
She'd cut her hair.
What was once long and plain was now this sassy prep-punk pixie bob that somehow seemed to suit her just as well as her old Honor Student hairstyle. She was also wearing a tight tee-shirt that advertised a BBQ joint in Austin, Texas. Other than that, she was exactly as I remembered her. And "Holy shit!" she was standing right in front of me.
"Your mom and dad'll be out in a minute," she replied, grinning, "they're just grabbing some
boxes!
"
Ji-yeong nearly shouted that last word before laughing her ass off as I lifted her into a big hug. "Holy shit," I exclaimed again, "I've missed you so much!"
"I missed you too, big guy," she laughed. She still smelled of sweet jasmine, too.
"You're on a road trip!" I said, putting her down.
