Short Story -- I I: We Explore and Discover
~~~ Gina realizes her sexuality, and I rediscover mine ~~~
A note to the reader:
If you're expecting one of those stories where the "wise, worldly" older man teaches the young woman-child all about sex and it's possibilities -- well, this ain't that story.
Instead, this young woman has very definite ideas of her own regarding what she would like to explore and what she wants to experience.
Also, and, as in most relationships, it's oftentimes difficult to achieve that delicate balance between romance and sexual excitement. But Gina and I are going to try.
- cv andrews
TUESDAY
... Until I heard the sound of my daughter throwing back the curtains and the harsh light of morning assaulted my half-open eyes, and Gina's complaint, "Girl! What are you doing -- it's too early!"
And Terri's response, "Time for you two lovebirds to get up. Lots to do today."
Terri went around the bed to where Gina was waking up and kissed her. They hugged each other and they laughed, then they hugged again.
Then she came around to my side of the bed -- although Gina and I were lying so close that the idea of "someone's side of the bed" didn't really mean a whole lot -- and kissed me, and with her head next to mine so Gina couldn't hear, said, "i'm so proud of you, Dad -- I'm so happy for you... two."
I returned my daughter's kiss, and I hoped she could see that I was happy that she was happy about... about whatever has just happened.
I looked at the clock on the bedside table.
"You're certainly home early."
"Of course! I wanted to see if I could catch you two together. Looks like I did."
Her answer made me wonder -- if Terri hadn't come home so early and caught us, would Gina have moved -- would I have asked her to move -- back to her room. We'll, too late for that now.
And besides, now that Terri knew beyond any doubt, the whole issue of "Do we tell her -- don't we tell her?" is pretty much irrelevant, isn't it?
Despite Terri's eagerness for us to get started on our "lots to do today," Gina and I stayed in bed another ten minutes, just cuddling. I guess I wasn't quite ready to be fucking my daughter's roommate while my daughter was bouncing around the house.
On the other hand, I'm not sure Gina would have minded at all...
I got up and went into the bathroom, and I realized that I was reluctant to wash the smells of last night, and of Gina, off me. I finally gave in to practical necessity and cleaned up, and by the time I went out to the kitchen Terri had coffee going and Gina was already putting things together for French toast...
Gina and I acted like two people who've just discovered each other -- smiling, touching, the occasional kiss in passing -- you know what I'm talking about..
And, mercifully, and to her credit, my daughter didn't give us any grief about it. No smart-ass remarks, no sarcastic smirks. Only the occasional smile, showing that she was happy -- for us, and for our new-found... whatever it was that we'd just found.
And, of course, Terri and Gina spent a
lot
of time in conversation.
But as the day progressed, it started to feel like some of that closeness was fading. There were fewer touches from Gina, and she kind of brushed off my efforts to give her even the most fleeting kiss.
I was totally puzzled, and a sick feeling started to develop in my stomach. What's going on?
As it came time to think about dinner, the atmosphere seemed to get even more, I don't know, subdued.
Nobody was enthusiastic about making dinner so we ended up ordering an extra-large veggie pizza from Geppetto's, opened a bottle of an OK Chianti, and we managed to have an enjoyable dinner. But as the time approached for us to call it an evening, the subdued air returned.
My genius daughter seemed to sense that Gina and I might need some time for ourselves. She kissed each of us goodnight and headed off to her room.
Leaving Gina and me.
"Gina -- I think..."
"El, maybe we should..."
We both smiled, and then, thinking that it would be best if Gina could hear what I had to say and then react to it, leaving her with the last word, I spoke first.
"Gina," I took a sip of my tea, "I don't have words to describe how wonderful it was with you last night, but I'm also thinking that maybe we should take a step back and consider... consider the implications of how we feel... of how we felt last night." I watched for any reaction. "What do you think...?"
She thoughtfully took a sip of her tea. She gazed into her cup for a few seconds, then looked up at me.
"El, I can't really find the words for what happened last night. The closest I can come is 'magical.' And I guess that's the problem -- magic. Since last night I've been like walking on air, and it's a wonderful feeling. But it's also not good, because when you're feeling like this it's not the best situation for making good decisions." She took another sip, then looked over the rim of her cup toward me, like "What do you think?"
I set my tea cup down on the end table and reached over to take her free hand -- the one that wasn't holding the tea cup.
"Gina, I think we're both thinking -- feeling -- the same thing -- that maybe we should take a step back from our... euphoria... and think a bit about... I don't know... think about it."
She squeezed my hand, and she smiled, a beautiful, almost beatific smile. "I think that's a good idea, El -- let's do that, OK?"
Then she looked at me again. "It was magic, though, wasn't it?"
And with that last thought in our minds, Gina went off to her room and I went to my bedroom...
... and spent the loneliest night of my last four years.
WEDNESDAY MORNING
As usual, Terri was the first one up. I wondered when she'd become such an early bird. That certainly wasn't the way it was all through high school, when I practically had to lay a trail of Pop-Tart crumbs out to the kitchen to get her out of bed.
Then I had a happy thought: maybe now she has something more to get up for. At least, I hope that's the reason.
Anyhow, I was sitting at the kitchen table enjoying my second mug of Terri's now-pretty-good coffee when I heard Gina's footsteps coming down the hall toward the kitchen.