The alarm sounded at 6:30am. Saoirse and Neil got up and ready with barely even a word between them in their sleepy states. They went downstairs to find the others and loaded all the boards and belongings onto Neil's car before driving down to the beach. It was much busier than Saoirse had thought, with other surfers also there to catch the sunrise, dog walkers and joggers and a sunrise yoga class on the beach.
The weather was quite mild which Saoirse was glad of, she didn't like getting up early, dark mornings or getting cold and wet; much less to get into the sea! She chuckled to herself thinking how it was exactly what Neil thrived on and wondered how they were a match at all. She was apprehensive but looking forward to the experience. They suited up and entered the water to start paddling out. Mike led the charge while Jay and Neil hung back to support Saoirse, and Emma followed behind them. They went out further than Saoirse had imagined but it probably wasn't as far out as she thought. They stopped and paddled to stay in place as the sun started to come up. Neil set up his GoPro at the end of his board and moved the top of his board almost alongside Saoirse's to try and keep her steady in the water. Saoirse felt quite vulnerable and her body was tense, she couldn't really relax because she had to concentrate so much on controlling herself. Paddling on the board was a bit more difficult with her life jacket on; paddling so as not to drift, staying afloat, not getting too tired or cold. She also felt like a burden to the others who kept turning to check on her. They made it all look easy, they just chilled out on their boards, watching the sunrise, laughing and joking with each other. Neil and Jay took turns supporting Saoirse and guiding her how to move her body to manoeuvre herself on her board and her board in the water. She wasn't as fit or adept as them. She was shocked to discover she felt more at ease with Jay than with Neil. They paddled back in to the shore, got changed and piled into Neil's car. Saoirse sat in the back passenger side beside the window, Emma at the opposite side and Jay sat in the middle.
Jay could tell she was subdued. "You were great there, you know." Jay said discretely, turning his head to her. "Especially for someone who's had only 6 hours on a board. Ever!" he smiled. Saoirse looked at him and smiled shyly, she still felt embarrassed or nervous or awkward, she wasn't sure which. "You did really well." Jay nodded at her. "You go girl!" he said quietly in an over-the-top American accent, putting his hand up subtley for her to hi-five.
Saoirse hi-fived him half-heartedly and smiled awkwardly. "I still feel a bit...embarrassed or something," she shrugged, her eyes started to well up with tears. "I don't know." A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away and bowed her head.
"Embarassed? You should be proud of yourself, grinning from ear to ear!" Jay said louder with a chuckle that halted the conversation between the others in the car. Neil looked at them in the rear view mirror, frowned, and then turned his head quickly to look at them before turning back to the road.
"What's happened? Saoirse, what's up?" he asked softly but concerned, looking at her in the mirror.
"Nothing, no I'm fine." she said, sitting up straighter, wiping her eyes quickly and smiling with her lips pursed.
Jay started "She was saying that..."
"Jay, don't!" she pleaded softly, putting her hand on his wrist.
"It's alright." he said quietly to her. "She was just saying that she felt embarrassed and I said she should be proud at paddling out with only 6 hours board time. That's all." he said to the others, realising he was compounding Saoirse's anxiety and trying to recover the situation.
"Yeaaaah!" Emma nodded, looking across to Saoirse. "Fucking right! There's no way I could've done that after a few lessons." she said.
"That's impressive Sha-Sha," Mike said, turning round to his left in the passenger seat to look at her through the gap between the seats. "I'm impressed." he said, smirking at her. They all agreed. She smiled at Mike and he turned back round in his seat.
Emma leaned across Jay and clasped Saoirse's hand. Just as she started to talk, Saoirse saw Mike lean over and say something to Neil, who shook his head. "You definitely shouldn't feel embarrassed! Be so proud of yourself Saoirse!" she smiled. "I'm the least experienced of us 4 and I've been surfing for nearly 8 years! You're doing great!" she said. "Don't be so hard on yourself, lovely!" she smiled and squeezed Saoirse's hand. Saoirse smiled gratefully at her.
Neil looked at Saoirse in the mirror. "Was it scary?" he asked. She looked at him in the mirror and nodded. "Yeah? Did you do it anyway?" he asked with a smirk. She nodded shyly. "Yeah you did," he smiled "and you fucking bossed it!" he said. The others cheered and Saoirse smiled shyly. "Well done, gorgeous." Neil said sincerely as he reached his left hand behind him through the seats to fist bump her.
"The only person who should be embarrassed here is Neil." Mike said. "He spent all morning hoping he'd have the chance to do his impression of The Hoff, isn't that right mate?" Mike teased. They all laughed.
"Fuck off!" Neil laughed dismissively.
Mike started to sing the Baywatch theme song. "I'll be ready, never you fear. No don't you fear. I'll be ready..."
"Fuck off!" Neil shouted, nudging him. The others laughed.
They arrived back at the Air B&B and Emma went straight to the kitchen to make sure she had everything she needed for brunch, Jay and Mike sat and discussed ideas for their next trip and Saoirse boiled the kettle, setting out cups on the counter for everyone. Neil put a tea bag in each cup and fetched milk from the fridge. "D'you want time on your own?" he asked in a low tone as Saoirse poured water into the cups. She shook her head. "Wanna sit outside with me?" he asked, looking at her. She nodded as she poured the milk. "Ok," he said, guiding her towards the patio doors. "Teas are on the counter, folks. Come and get 'em." he said loudly, walking through the living room as he followed Saoirse out onto the patio and shut the door behind them.
It was a much warmer day already than the previous 2 days. The sun shone brightly on the patio and warmed their skin. They sat in silence as Saoirse blew on her tea. The birds sang loudly in the trees, the distant sound of the waves rumbled on the beach and the end of season bees flew around the sunflowers in the plant pots. "Sorry for being embarrassing in the car." Saoirse said, breaking the silence. "Crying I mean. Not really sure why that happened." she said, looking into her cup.
