I was building up the fire ready for departure, two shovels front right, two front left, when I heard the voice of a buffet steward calling to get my attention. I leant my head out of the cab door and froze, but not from the cold December air. Tilted up at me was a small pixie face, dusted with freckles, surrounded by shining brown hair, and smiling blue eyes. I was speechless. Suddenly I realised that she was talking to me, and I was staring, not hearing a word she had said.
"Sorry -- I didn't hear what you said," I offered, blushing furiously.
"You did seem to lose your concentration," she laughed up at me. "What do you both want to drink?"
I was enchanted by her laugh, but I managed to splutter, "I'll have tea, white no sugar, and the driver would like chocolate. Thanks." My driver was oiling round, but I knew he liked chocolate on these cold Santa Special turns.
"No problem. I'll be back with them in a minute," she grinned.
I was beginning to take in more than her face, and I saw that she was wearing a fetching green hat with a feather. As she turned away I noticed she was all in green. Not only did she have a pixie face, she was dressed as a pixie. Those legs in green tights with a short green skirt were awesome. Then I heard the tell-tale sounds of the safety valves hissing, and had to turn away to put on the injector before the loco blew off.
As I opened the water valve, cracked then fully opened the steam valve, trimmed the water till the injector was singing, and checked the overflow, I was running through what had happened in my mind. That alluring face. My inability to function when I saw her. The fact that I was so focussed on her face that I missed the rest of her until later. What was so strange was the shock.
I'd been dumped by my long term girlfriend. Not such a big deal, unless you know that I'd booked a surprise long weekend in a castle, and bought a ring. She told me she'd found someone else she was interested in. I must admit it had given me a certain vicious satisfaction that he hadn't wanted to go out with her.
That was in the summer. I was devastated as I loved her, and my life had just fallen apart. Fortunately I lived near my parents, and they had taken me in hand. Work had at least provided some routine, and after a month or so of my parents' patient care, I recovered enough to resume some kind of rather bleak social life and return to my lonely flat.
The loco supervisor on the railway had also been a tower of strength, persuading me to come up and do turns at every opportunity. The ordered routine of running trains, and the challenges inherent in the fireman's job stoking the fire, managing the boiler and keeping a good lookout were balm to my ragged soul. He'd also persuaded me to do a couple of weekends on the Santa Specials run in December.
If you've never been on a Santa Special on a steam railway, you've actually missed a treat. All the train staff dress up in the most ridiculous Christmas costumes. Christmas treats are served to all, and the buffet staff are continuously busy while the passengers make good use of the licensed bar served up to their seats. Of course the kids get to see Santa and receive a gift -- they're not bad either!
So it was that I found myself for the first time rather looking forward to being asked what I wanted -- to drink, I mean.
Unfortunately for me, all the other times that day it was a different steward. But I did catch occasional glimpses of her in the distance down the train smiling and helping the children enjoy themselves.
We'd propelled the set into the carriage shed, uncoupled, and I was just about to swing up into the cab to go for fuel, when a breathless voice called, "Are you coming with us to the pub?"
I turned and felt the stab of desire as I realised it was my pixie. With years of experience before I'd found my last girlfriend, I masked my feelings. "Yeah. I was planning to eat there. See you there, I hope. But don't expect us for at least couple of hours -- we've got to coal up and dispose as well as shower."
"We've still got half an hour of cleaning left in the set, so I'm sure we'll still be there. See ya." She gave a cheery wave and turned back to her task.
Must have been my imagination, but I thought I'd seen a glint of hastily suppressed emotion. I couldn't get my hopes up, but damn, it made me hot.
As we shovelled a ton and a half of coal into the conveyer to be conveyed up and drop into the bunker, my driver leant on his shovel for a breather. "My you're going at it a bit. Anyone would think your pants were on fire," he laughed.
I could take a bit of ribbing from him, after all, look at all he'd done to help. As loco supervisor he'd replaced a sick driver at the last minute, and it was a pleasure to be with him on the footplate. I grinned back. "Maybe they are."
He looked serious, "I'm so glad to see you coming out of your shell. It's always amazed me how tough you are. I mean look at you, you're just a slip of a thing, and you beat most of us hollow at this game." He was referring to the fact that this was my second ton and a half of the day -- the previous one being all my own work and shovelled into the voracious appetite of the fire.
I did try to look after myself and not go to seed. Well at least after my parents had put me back together. Although I was 5ft 10, I'd always been a bit of a beanpole, but I did at least have some stamina.
After we'd moved from the coal stage to the shed, we dropped the fire, raked out the bars and the ash, cleaned round and put the loco to bed. Both of us checked that all the valves were shut, cocks open, mid gear, regulator shut, brake hard on. We got our stuff off the footplate and wandered tiredly over to the mess to change out of our overalls and sign off.
As I peeled my greasetop cap off my head, my long blonde hair fell out into the ponytail I'd put it in. "Always surprises me that's in there. Wouldn't it be easier if you had it short?"
"I suppose I like to surprise people." I said. "Bit of vanity if you like. Actually it's not much trouble once I've got it up into the cap, and it stays fairly clean in there."
He didn't wear a cap, and his hair was, well not black, but certainly dark grey with coal dust and smuts.
"I'm off to clean up for supper. Will you lock? Oh, and are you coming to the pub?"
"No -- got to get home. I wasn't supposed to be on today. Have a good time."
I drove off to the hostel and a hot shower. Unusually for me, I spent time drying my hair, and chose slightly smarter clothes that I usually would. Who am I kidding.
When I walked in, my eyes were drawn to her. She'd lost her green pixie look, and I felt again the stab of desire as I took in her unbuttoned coat, soft brown hair and the cleavage at the centre of her fire-engine-red t-shirt. She was buried the other side of a long table, so I turned to the bar and ordered soup, steak and kidney pudding, treacle sponge and custard. Firing gives you an appetite.
And looking at her had also given me an appetite for something else. "Oh God, I can't do this." I thought. They'd all laugh at me if they knew. I'd been there before.
Amazingly when I turned from the bar, she was staring at me, almost with her mouth open drooling. I was so shocked, I froze for a moment. Then without my realising it, a huge smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. When her answering smile lit up her face, I nearly turned into a molten pool on the floor. My legs shook as I walked up to the table, and I was glad to sink down into the only vacant chair.
