CHAPTER 1
Dillon James is just your everyday loser. He'd not gone to college, still lived at home at the age of twenty-four and his job was selling men's shoes. He made time for himself by reading only the comic strips in the newspaper, loved to fish and his main intellectual activity was sitting on the bench outside the city art gallery talking to his pals.
On the romantic front Dillon maintained a casual relationship with Betty Irons who also dated most of his mates and for all of his shortcomings, his mom loved him while his dad preferred not to talk expansively about his son.
His sister Rose confided to her friends that Dillon was the best sex partner she'd ever had, and speaking in the most intimate sense, she knew plenty of guys and it was not widely known two of his mom's married sisters were in a position to confirm Dillon really delivered a great bang.
Alas the owner of the shoe store took ill and died after overdosing on contaminated shellfish and the business collapsed as a result of the money owned to his creditors being four times greater than his realizable assets. The new owner of the premises, Steve Daniels, converted the business in to a cell phone store and asked Dillon if he'd like to stay on and sell phones.
The lean, dark curly-headed affable guy drawled, "Oh yeah, great. Is the pay any good?"
The basic pay rate plus the bonus rate based on personal sales made Dillon's eyes gyrate. He was definitely interested and when Steven said he'd send Dillon to a half-day sales course to bring him up to speed on the products being stocked, Dillon jumped on to the payroll.
He learned things at the sales course, such as some women match the cover of their phone to their eyes or their hair or that it must fit into the pocket for cell phones in their handbag or they had to have a password enabled phone book so their husbands couldn't scroll through and learn the names of casual lovers or party pill suppliers.
It was a learning curve for the young man and came to an end during a client's demonstration.
"This can't be your smallest phone," complained the senior high school student. "I could get it up my vagina."
"Bullshit," Dillon snorted, believing the 18-year-olds were lining up to steal a couple of phones rather than buy them.
"Show him it's true Jill," said her friend.
Jill squatted and most of the phone had disappeared into her depths. That's when Steve entered the showroom after looking at his security monitors and yelled, "What the hell is going on here?"
"This prospective client wanted to test just how small this model of phone really is," Dillon explained, quite unperturbed, knowing it was store policy to allow phones on display to be tested and he'd unhooked it for his customer.
"Young woman get the hell out of her and take that phone with you," Steve roared. "Dillon you're fired."
Dillon protested his innocence unsuccessfully and collected his jacket and his hastily made-up termination pay and left the store.
An attractive woman who appeared under forty got out of a parked car he'd just passed and called, "Dillon."
"Yes ma'am?"
"I'm Jill's mother. She is upset that her stupid behavior has cost you your job."
"Don't blame her, blame the store owner. It is store policy to allow prospective customers to test the phones as they see fit."
"And seeing the phone disappearing into Jill's um, thingy, didn't shock you?"
"It surprised me ma'am, that's all. I'd not come across such a quirky test before."
"Well the phone needs cleaning up but it goes. Are you able to clean it for Jill?"
"Yes of course."
"Then please come home with us."
In the car Jill shyly apologized to Dillon for doing such a stupid thing with unfortunate results for him only to be told by Dillon not to worry. "These things happen."
Jill's mother introduced herself as Denise Coleman and as they reached home her husband Keaton drove in behind them. Jill introduced the two men.
Denise related the phone test story and Dillon was surprised Keaton merely grinned and then taking the phone wrapped in a handkerchief he unbundled it and sniffed and said "Jesus" and laughed.
Jill wandered off and Keaton said, "Come in for a beer before you start working on the phone. Were you carnally attracted to my daughter when you saw where she was stuffing your phone?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course, she'd under the minimum age for me and that's my standard. A guy has to have limits."
"Oh yes of course. Look I have a cell phone that doesn't work. Could you take a look at that?"
"Yes sure."
Mrs Coleman began starting dinner and invited Dillon to stay and eat with them. He accepted, pulling out his phone and calling his mom to advise he would have dinner out.
"You spoke very nicely to your mother."
"That shouldn't be surprising Mrs Coleman. She's one of my favorite people."
Mrs Cole man appeared really surprised at that comment although said nothing.
She set up paper towels on one side of the kitchen bench for Dillon and placed the wrapped phone on a towel.
Keaton arrived with two beers and a wine for his wife. He watched Dillon wave away the rubber gloves his wife was offering and asked were the gloves too thick.
"No but I don't mind pussy juice on my hands providing I wash before eating."
"Oh God," Mrs Coleman said, spraying the plants on the shelf against the kitchen window with wine she'd just sipped.
Keaton bellowed in laughter and Dillon, trying not to laugh, apologized to her for making her laugh at the wrong time. She said not to apologize; that what she'd just heard had been funnier than most jokes people told her.
"You are so natural and so relaxed," she said. "Most men would never use the word pussy in front of a woman unless they knew her extremely well."
"Mom always says my irreverence will get me into hot water."
"Good use of the word," Keaton said, pulling out his disable phone from a kitchen drawer and placing it on the bench. "I'm going to watch a bit of TV. Come in when you're finished here Dillon."
"Ma'am..."
"Call me Denise please. There is no need to turn conservative just because Keaton has left the room."
"Um I need cotton buds and if you have it, 100% pure 200 proof ethyl alcohol."
"You are in luck. I have both and use the alcohol to clean my best jewelry."
"You are a real handy woman to know."
Denise smiled, standing rather close to him. "Just how well do you anticipate getting to know me Dillon," she said, almost whispering.
"I-I-I oh God," he said, blushing and looking shocked. It occurred to him that Denise was far more relaxed and approachable than her husband, in fact very approachable.
"Oh Dillon, I'm sorry. I was only teasing."
He nodded and they both looked down at Denise's hand on his forearm.
She removed it, unhurriedly and inside two minutes returned with the items he'd requested. Meanwhile he'd taken the other cell phone to pieces and located the problem.
Jill's new phone had spill-resistant buttons so the cleaning operation was a breeze.
"Will it always smell of pussy juice?" Denise asked.
Dillon held Jill's phone for Denise to sniff. Her nose made three twitches and her full lips parted. Dillon looked at those lips in astonishment, realizing those lips were not dissimilar to pussy lips side-on, pussy lips not showing the inner lips that is. He'd already learned that looking at the shape of some female's butts was not dissimilar to looking at their breasts straight on in instances where the cleavage was minimal. He regarded this as an amazing discovery.
She said softly, "I only smell lingering alcohol."
"As that goes only the normal smell of a phone will remain. You have beautiful lips."
Her lips opened at she gazed at him with her hazel eyes suited to her olive skin and brunette hair. "Thank you. I appreciate that comment from one so young. Are you twenty-five?"
"Early next year."
"Oooh oh so young. Are you sexually well experienced?"
