Author's Note: The Danforth is the historic Greek district in Toronto. Also, it is
very
difficult to make a living doing online sex work alone, and what happens in this story should be taken as the exception and not the norm.
Tashelle Brathwaite's lungs burned and her thighs threatened to explode. It felt like she was all but dragging her body through the longest stretch of Lakeshore Boulevard she'd ever run, and this was her fourth Toronto Marathon.
Just hammer another nail in my coffin,
she silently cursed what seemed like the thousandth person to jog past her, although a part of her knew she was probably closer to the front of the pack. Most parts of her didn't even know what hour it was; just that she'd soon be reaching the designated cheering station and then the finish line.
BRATHWAITE, a massive, colourful placard off in the distance shouted, telling her the ordeal was almost over, as her dad and brother were waiting there for her. Austin also said he'd show up with a surprise, and Tashelle hoped to god it was a cooler full of electrolytes.
Every inch of her dark oak skin glistened, and her bounce-crochet ringlets bobbed atop her head as she turned the corner onto Spadina Avenue—and then broke into a grin upon seeing that Austin had made it. But his parents were there too, and she'd only met them twice.
What is he... why is he...
Even her brain was out of breath, or maybe it was hallucinating because Tashelle swore her boyfriend was trying to climb over the barriers onto the path... and now he was holding his arms out...? She nearly fell over as she looked behind her, her bearings off kilter while she wondered if he was alerting her to some danger coming up from behind. But then she turned back toward him and stopped, mortified.
No,
she thought, unable to decide which part of this was the worst. The fact that he was down on one knee or the fact that she was losing seconds.
"Tashelle Brathwaite," he started above the roar of the crowd. She looked to her right and noticed a TV news crew coming toward them. Then Austin took out a ring box and opened it.
Oh, helllllls no,
she averred, gently shaking her head and gunning it toward the finish line just 200 metres away. She wasn't even sure anymore whether she was running toward it or away from Austin, but she was sure she was going to be told what was what by everyone in her life real soon.
"Six hundred-and-sixth!" her brother, Viv, exclaimed when her results came in. He gave her a hug and a sports drink, then turned her away from where their dad and Austin's family were standing across the crowd.
"I can cover for you if you want to make a run for it," Viv told her. "Pun totally intended."
"And why should I do that?" Tashelle managed to get out between gulps. Austin was visibly distraught and his parents looked like they were trying to dissuade the news crew from sticking around.
"You snubbed your boyfriend's proposal in front of half the Toronto Marathon."
"Viv, I'm not gonna get into how I'm so exhausted I think I'm gonna die," she said. "I'm not gonna talk about all the people I watched throw up on the street over the last few hours. What I am gonna ask is, why does
anyone
expect me to manage someone else's feelings 10 minutes after I just finished a marathon?"
"Tashelle, you've been dating this man for a year-and-a-half," Viv tried, "and you're talking about him like he's some fling?"
"He's been dating
me
for a year-and-a-half, and he didn't know what a huge moment this is? Even flings would have been more considerate!" As if right on cue, Austin approached them, his parents and Tashelle's dad in tow.
"I can't believe you did that to me," he spit out. She could sense a few eyeballs were turning toward them, even in the ruckus of celebrations at the finish line.
"Austin, let me ask you something," she redirected him, unphased. Her fatigue from the race removed any effort she could have made to filter her thoughts. "What would you have thought last year at your law school graduation, if I'd gotten down on one knee after you were handed your degree? Right on the stage?"
"I—what does that have to do with anything?"
"Would you have been thrilled? Or would you have been put off that I was taking that moment you worked so hard for, and making it about myself?"
Their conversation fell away below the roar of those flanking their loved ones as they crossed the finish line. Tashelle waited for an answer, not looking at her dad either because she knew after years of experience he'd be taking Austin's side.
"You embarrassed me in front of thousands of people," Austin persisted.
"You made me lose seconds off my time and would have made me lose minutes more if I'd stopped. For an event I've been training months for, and run every year for the last four years."
"Tashelle," her father's baritone Jamaican lilt cut in, "you can't do this to a man, dear. It was important to you, yes, but his parents are here too. Do you expect him to just stand here and take this?"
"No, papa, I expect him—and you—to stand there and blow it out of proportion." She took another swig of her drink and wiped her brow with the towel Viv handed her. "About 14,000 people run this marathon every year on average. Do any of you, except Viv, know where I finished just now? Do any of you care?"
"Tashelle, maybe it was an error in judgment for Austin to pick today when you're obviously so distraught." She knew Austin's dad was trying to sanitise how his son had fucked up, but all she really wanted was an apology or an acknowledgement that she'd finished 606
th
out of 14,000 runners, and she wasn't hearing it.
"Distraught?" she repeated. "Sir, I was distraught when he stopped me on the track. I'm over this now. Austin, you just showed me you believe one of the most important and difficult things I could do should take a backseat to an everyday thing you decided to do."
"You're seriously telling me women get proposed to every day?" The race was looking like a walk in the park compared to whatever this was.
"Actually, yes, but they get proposed to during moments that are just about them and their relationship. You wanted everyone to stand up and clap for you." She caught the eye of the news reporter who was hovering nearby, clearly hoping for the human interest story of the year. And before she could stop her hand from waving her and the cameraman over, Tashelle was already watching herself do it.
"So it looks like you just had a doubly amazing day!" the reporter exclaimed as the camera's red light went on. "We're live on NewsPlanet Toronto," she announced to her audience, "at the scene where one of the runners just accepted a proposal in the middle of the race." Tashelle could see the horror in her little brother's eyes and the confusion among everyone else, but it was happening.
"Actually, no, I placed six-hundred-and-sixth and ran a personal best!" she bellowed with just as much enthusiasm above the crowd. "But my boyfriend failed to see how huge that is for me and almost ruined it so I am breaking up with him right now and taking myself out to dinner!" Viv's hands were on his face, her dad's hands were atop his head, and the reporter's free hand was on her chest.
"Austin, you're never going to see me as your equal. I wish you a great future, but I'm not going to be a part of it." She then waved excitedly into the camera with an exaggerated grin and flounced off to a water tent to grab another sports drink.
"You are completely out of your mind and dad is pisssssed," Viv joined her a few minutes later, as she knew he would. "They're begging NewsPlanet not to air what you just said."
"Dad's not that pissed."
"Trust me, he's pissed."
"Remember the time we were at his friend's place and he introduced us and said he wished I'd been a cop like him but instead I chose to be a 'professional asswipe?'"
"How could I forget?" Viv shook his head, unimpressed with how he always fell into the pattern of being the buffer between his father and sister. "You chugged your drink in front of everyone and said, 'well, dad, I guess the wipe doesn't fall very far from the ass!' And then I got you to the car and drove us the hell outta there?"
"Which I expect you to do today as well." The only different thing about this moment was that there was a sports drink in Tashelle's fist instead of a daiquiri. "But on
that
day, dad was pissed."
She supposed it was partly her fault as well—getting her hopes up when she saw him in the cheering section earlier. For a fleeting moment, it seemed like her father was there to support her in what she wanted to do and what she was good at.
If that had been the case, she would have forgiven him for humiliating her at that party for being a videographer. She would have even forgiven him for divorcing her mother, but maybe there was nothing to forgive there. After all, Tashelle and Viv's mom was living her best life with their stepdad in Montreal.
"Imagine I
did
get married but I chose to have Norris walk me down the aisle instead of dad?" Tashelle's eyes glowed fiendishly. She attributed her light, almost exhilarated emotions to the post-race high. She'd probably crash at some point, but not right now.
"I'm going to hold off on imagining that hellscape to ask you something," Viv closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Did Austin do something to you?" The siblings took a glance back to where their dad was still talking with Austin's parents, then Viv followed Tashelle's casual stroll toward the parking lot. "I just want to make sure. You're way too relaxed about this. Did he step out on you or something?"
"Life lesson, my boy," she said, reveling in the cool breeze bathing her skin. This was definitely the post-race high getting out of control.
"It doesn't have to be a single, big, terrible event. What Austin just showed me is what he wants our life to look like. He gets the achievements and I'm supposed to be happy with what he thinks I deserve. Dad was upset because he also thinks that's what a wife should be doing. The moment I suggested we should be cheering for each other, it didn't compute?"
It briefly flickered across her mind the days of celebration she'd planned for Austin when he'd gotten his law degree, and then again after he'd joined his firm.
What he'd appreciated even more was the nights of epic fucking that had followed those days. It was sad he wasn't the type of man to reciprocate, but better she found out now rather than after 10 years and two kids.
"I get it," Viv nodded. "But you kicked that race's ass today and you deserve a party for that. At least let me take you out tonight." It was sweet, and she was relieved Viv would turn out differently from their dad and Austin. But too much had already happened that day and she needed to decompress.
"I love you, and I definitely want to hang out in a few days," she told him as he unlocked his car and held open the door for her. "And I am so thankful for you. But despite how I may seem now, I'm not thrilled this is how it ended with Austin. I need to chill alone for a while."
"Maybe you should keep your promise to the news lady and take yourself out to dinner," Viv said, starting the car.
"Probably. The last thing I wanna do is cook." Tashelle opened his navigation system and started punching some buttons. "What are those Japanese places called? The ones where the chef is right at your table and does all those tricks while making your food?"
