Lunch was delicious as always, but Lauren had trouble concentrating on the food. On the walk over she and Brent had decided to tell the girls together. Of course, she was never sure exactly how much Elise understood of such things. But perhaps that was a mixed blessing since Megan took the news particularly hard. In the end, she had understood far better than most teenagers would. She had though extracted Lauren's promise to come back to them as soon as she could.
She snuck a look at Brent as he talked with Elise about her pony. Of course, she was coming back here. Was it really less than seventy-two hours ago that she had stood in her office trying to memorize it? It all seemed so meaningless now. This was what mattered...her family. Grandmam. Her girls. And yes, him.
That had been the problem. Nothing was ever right without Brent by her side. Life was never complete. She was never truly whole. And tonight she was going to tell and show him that.
She glanced over to the table where Simone and Jill were laughing and teasing their husbands. Though she could not hear what they said, the love they shared emanated from their faces.
She frowned as she pondered what Brent had said. She tried to think of even one couple among her friends, who shared that bond. She could not. She knew that far too many of them were merely going through the motions. For the children. Financial reasons. Or only to avoid the 'scandal' of divorce.
Certainly she had never actually seen a couple like Simone and Samuel. Over a quarter of a century. And the happiness radiated in both their faces as they leaned towards one another giggling like teenagers. Was part of that the depth of trust that Brent spoke about?
"Earth to Mom. Mum?"
Lauren turned back to Megan with a smile, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Did you say something?"
Her daughter shook her head and rolled her eyes, "Dad asked if you wanted to join us in the barn for a while. We're going to let Elise play with her pony."
She returned the smile but shook her head, "How about I join you all later?" She glanced back to see Jill kissing her husband as she rose from the table and headed back into the kitchen. Simone began to collect the dishes off their table as her husband gave her round butt a light tap. "I have some research I need to do actually."
Brent stared at her with his brows knitted together, but he just nodded as he bent to kiss her, tenderly, "Alright, babygirl. Catch up with us when you finish your research."
"If the two of you don't mind, I'd like a bit of time," Katie stammered as she looked down at her hands that seemed to be trembling on the table.
"Of course. Is everything all right?" Brent asked.
The young woman looked up and gave a slight nod, but Lauren saw the tears glistening in her eyes. "I just need some time to think about some things, that's all."
"Sure, Katie. Take all the time you need. Take the rest of the day off. I'd like the chance to spend some quality time with Elise before I leave," Lauren answered. "Just know I am here if you need to talk," she tried to reassure the younger woman with whom they had become so close in such a short time.
Katie nodded her head as she stood, "Thank you, Dr. Masters. I may take you up on the offer...later." She walked over to Elise and used the picture cards that the school had introduced to explain to her daughter.
They had been lucky to find someone as dedicated and loyal as Katie to care for Elise. It was almost as if she loved her as much as they did. While she had not had any experience with young children, especially additional needs ones, Katie Alexander had impressed her from the beginning. And when she came to the second interview in jeans and a t-shirt, immediately getting onto the floor with Elise, Lauren had known she had the right person for the job.
She frowned as she realized for the first time that as close as they had all become to Katie, she knew next to nothing about her background. Just that she was pursuing a Master's in Education and that she came highly recommended by her professors.
But her affinity for their child spoke of something more profound than just book knowledge. Did she have a brother or sister on the spectrum perhaps? Was that why she was so good with Elise? Her brows knit together more as she tried to think of a single time that Katie had mentioned her family. Or even her life before coming to Oxford. But she could not.
Katie rose and said her farewells with a solemnness that Lauren had not noticed before. She promised herself that even if the carer did not seek her out, she would make the time to do so herself. She nodded her farewells as Brent collected their girls and disappeared into the bright sunlight with them, laughter echoing in their wake.
"I'm glad you have come to your senses, child," smiled Grandmam, who had been surprisingly silent for much of lunch.
"I never could keep my secrets from you," she reached across the table and covered her grandmother's hand with her own.
"No, child," she smiled. "From the moment, I held you; I knew that you were special. Perhaps the only good thing that Bridget ever did," Lauren saw more unshed tears in her grandmother's green eyes. "Promise me that you'll hurry back here to those babies and that man?"
"Of course. Just as soon as I speak with my colleagues, one way or the other, I will be back on one of Brent's planes. You have my word on that," she squeezed the hand that seemed colder than usual. "But between Katie and now you, I'm beginning to worry," she admitted.
Her grandmother smiled and chuckled, "Nothing to worry about here, darling — just time. My old mind has been playing tricks on me. Thinking as us old people do of the past. My regrets. My failings. Most of all, your mother."
She looked down at their hands joined together on the table, "I know that my daughter made some bad choices, dear. But she wasn't a bad person. She loved you."
"I'm not excusing what she did, child. I could never do that. But..." Her grandmother paused, looking deep into her eyes, "She never meant to leave you with him permanently. It was just supposed to be a few months while she got settled. Built a new life for you. But things happened. Things that she had no control over. And months turned into years. Years into a lifetime."
"Don't let that be you, Lauren. Not now, not when true happiness is so close to hand. Promise me. Promise me that you will not allow that to happen to you," Lauren was surprised at the strength of her grandmother's grasp as she clung to her.
She studied the woman's face that seemed to have aged in just the short time they had been here. There were dozens of questions racing through her mind. Things she had always wanted to know, but been too afraid to ask. She knew that this was it — her chance.
But she was not sure if she had the courage, the strength to face the answers.
Still, she had to know. Had to put some of her demons to rest. Otherwise, how could she truly move forward into the trusting, loving relationship that Brent spoke of? "Tell me, Grandmam," she barely managed to squeeze the words past the lump in her throat.
Tears spilled down her grandmother's weathered cheeks as she nodded, "Maybe I should have long ago. Maybe if I had all of this would not have happened. I don't know. I never will. But you're right; it is time. Time for the truth to come out."
Lauren did not push her as the tears tracked faster down her cheeks to fall onto the top of their hands entwined together on the table. Old...thin skinned, bruised, prominent veins and wrinkled. Lauren noticed for the first time, the deeper wrinkles beginning to form around her own knuckles. The tiny lines and creases that were multiplying with the years. Time was passing. She too was not as young as she once was. The years ahead stretched out and whizzed by her in an instant as she waited for words that she knew might forever change their course.
"I know that you were never close to your father. James Masters was not the kind of man that knew how to show his emotions. If he even had them," Lauren saw her grandmother's throat constrict. "I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but the truth is that people were never anything more to that man than his possessions. Just something to be owned and used."
"Your mother was just another of those things," she shook her head. "I tried to tell Bridget. From the moment she brought that man home I knew. What was a forty-two-year-old bachelor doing with an eighteen-year-old woman-child?"
She chuckled and shook her head, "But I don't have to tell you how futile it is trying to tell a teenager anything, especially one as bright and headstrong as Megan and her grandmother. Or you, child. The only difference is that you and my grand-daughter have far better taste in men than your mother did."
"But your mother was never anything more to James than a breeder. A sweet, young, virgin to bear his children and look good on his arm at the right sorts of events," Lauren was shocked at the bitterness and vitriol she heard in her grandmother's voice.
"In exchange, he gave your mother all the things that she had always wanted. And for a time it was enough. She gave him you, and he gave her a diamond bracelet. He showed her a necklace and told her that she could have it too when she gave him a son."
She shook her head, "But that is where the trouble began. Bridget had trouble conceiving again. One year became two then three. And when she finally became pregnant, she lost the baby."
"Of course, to your father, it was his dynasty, nothing more. But to your mother, it was a baby. I don't know how much you remember of those early years, but your mother truly loved you. She did her best. Spending as much time as she could with you, even though James insisted a 'lady' did not raise her children. That was the job of nannies."
"Things began to fall apart then. Bridget was shattered by the miscarriage. She became depressed. Pulled away from you too, child." She sighed and looked down as more tears fell, "But she did her best even then. She brought me down to London from Loch Lomond so you would have more than just a cold nanny."
