Reflections Ch 01

This is a story about an older man reflecting on his life. It could go in several different categories. I'm posting it in chapters due to the length. I hope you stay with me on this one. Thank you to Estragon for editing it and making it a much better read.

Chapter 1

I needed a few minutes to be alone. I went into the office at the church to reflect upon my life. I have had plenty of ups and downs in my life and made a lot of mistakes. I also did some things right. I'll tell you a little about my life.

I just turned sixty-five a few months ago and my life was like a ride on a roller coaster. My name is Bud Brown. I was born and raised in Ohio, just outside of Cincinnati. I come from a very wealthy family. Our family made our riches in real estate. My ancestors owned thousands upon thousands of acres of land. It was passed down through the years and most of it was eventually sold off, but before it was all gone our family was rich.

I have a step-brother, Bob Jr., who is five years older than I am. I also have a step-sister Edie, who is three years older than I. Dad married his first wife when he was nineteen after she got pregnant. He tried to make it work and they even had a second child.

According to Dad, she married him because of the family name. When I was older Dad had told me he wasn't sure he loved her but he married her because he wanted to do the honorable thing. He said he would never know for sure, since she died in childbirth with Edie due to complications.

That's when Dad met Mary, my future mother. He hired her as a nanny for my siblings. It wasn't long before he had fallen in love with her and they got married. I was born within the year. They didn't have any other children.

I always got along with my brother and sister. I didn't think of them as step-siblings. As Bob Jr. would always say, "I was just a brother from a different mother."

Growing up I never did without, but my parents wanted me to know the value of a dollar. They didn't just throw money at me. I went to the city schools; received a good education, and eventually went to college.

A little about Bob and Edie. They both went to college and upon graduating Dad opened up a new land development and brokerage office for each of them. One was in Kentucky and the other was in Indiana.

They each eventually got married and had children of their own. They're grandparents now. Mom and Dad both taught family values to all of us. I guess I didn't listen too well to that part of my upbringing.

When I asked Dad what he thought I might be doing in the future he would always smile and tell me we would talk later. Dad and I were like best buds. In fact as far back as I can remember he always called me Buddy instead of Bud.

****

A lot of readers might have a hard time relating to my life but believe me when I say all people, rich and not, want to meet that special person. Money can buy a world of sex but can't buy love.

I dated in high school and college, and could have had just about any woman I wanted; believe me when I tell you I've been with a lot of women. I became infatuated with many of them but I can't say I ever really loved any of them. I knew many dated me because my family was extremely wealthy and I always bought them gifts.

I would tire of one after a while, and go on to another. I need to tell you up front things that you may not like about me. I was a user of women but I always paid them well, gave many generous gifts and never hurt them personally.

I'll tell you about a few of the women I've been with to give you an idea what kind of life I've led. I'll pass the high school fucks and go straight to the college women.

We'll begin with the fraternity parties. It's a fact that most any woman who attended these parties knew what the outcome would be. They would get fucked, sucked and past around. Any woman that I shared with others I would rarely date on my own.

As a freshman it was like I was in sin city heaven. Every weekend there was a party. I promised my Dad that I would try my best in college and I did keep that promise.

I went to college year around, to get through early. I studied my ass off all week long, racking up the midnight hours, but Saturday was my party night and I needed Sunday to rest up.

I never considered myself as a hunk, but I was a reasonably good-looking guy. I stood 6' 2" and weighed two hundred pounds. I played sports in high school but didn't really excel. Just one of the regular players. I did use the exercise room and the gym to keep in shape.

Back to the weekend parties. I drank beer, even though I was underage, but did my best not to get drunk. I would meet a girl at the party and before the night was over we were having sex. It wasn't in some back room but right there in front of everyone.

The girls would do wet t-shirt or some dirty dancing and I have to admit for a young guy like me it was really hot. Most girls were older than I was but age didn't seem to be a problem.

I usually stayed with one girl a night at the party. I think for the first few months I thought I was in love with every girl I was with. I would be with a girl for a few weeks and the next thing I knew she was fucking someone else.

One weekend when I was home I actually talked with my dad about women and how did he know Mom was the right one?

"Buddy," he said, "there's infatuation, there's lust and there is love. Lust you feel from your lower regions, if you get what I mean. Infatuation is thinking you really care for someone but not really knowing them. Then there is love, it's a feeling you get after knowing someone and feeling it in your heart.

"You'll know when that happens. There won't be much doubt. You will want to be with her and only her. You'll feel jealous when she's around other men. Take your time, and love will find you if it's meant to happen. Until then, make sure you wear condoms." Dad looked at me and laughed.

I had to wonder if Dad was right, but not about the condoms, I did that for sure. I never felt jealousy at these parties. I was now in my junior year and still partying on down. I couldn't believe how often my friends would share their girlfriends. I often shared my dates and it didn't bother me in the least. I never felt jealous and had to wonder if my dad was right.

It was quite well known that my family was wealthy. Some of the women were acting more lovey-dovey toward me. They wanted us to be more of a couple. I did date some of them over the next year for months at a time. I kept wondering about what my dad had said, "was it lust, love, or infatuation?"

I did have feelings for some of these women and they did look damn good. When it came to sex, they were good. Hand jobs, oral and most forms of fucking, they didn't have a problem with. Experience does count, let me tell you.

My biggest problem was I didn't know if they wanted me for me or for my family's reputed wealth. As I said, it got to be well known that my family was wealthy. Dad had mentioned to me that a lot of women would do most anything to marry a man of means. I didn't have much now but I could be quite wealthy in the future.

It just seemed that whenever I dated a girl, they always seemed to be interested in the family background. It pretty much sent up a red flag to me. I would have loved to meet the right woman and have a loving life like my parents seem to have had. I just wasn't sure if it was going to happen.

I'd been dating and partying for years now. In my senior year I met Marlene. She transferred in from another college. Of all places I met her in the library. We seemed to hit it off and as far as I knew she didn't know anything about me.

We talked and I asked her out for dinner. She accepted and we talked about our futures over dinner. She told me she wanted to be an actress. She was taking courses to help her reach that goal. I have to admit she had the looks but she would have to move to Hollywood or New York to get noticed.

I mentioned that my family was in the brokerage business and big in real estate. I would probably be in the family business. I took her back to the dorm after our date. We kissed and I invited her to the frat party on Saturday.

At the party we stayed together. She was surprised to see how open with sex a lot of the people were. By the end of the evening we were making out but she didn't want to have sex in front of anyone else. I did notice that she looked at one of the frat brothers a number of times.

I asked her if she knew Brent and she told me he was in her acting class. I really didn't know Brent all that well and only saw him at some of the frat parties.

Marlene and I headed back to the house I shared with a couple of friends. We each had our own bedrooms. Marlene and I went to my room and I slowly took her clothes off. When I removed her bra and she only had her panties on I had her sit on the edge of the bed. I quickly stripped down to my briefs.

I had her lie back and kissed her. I felt I wanted to take my time and make love to her. I didn't say I loved her because I didn't know. We'd only met a week before, but my loins were stirring.

I sucked on her breasts and especially her nipples. She had her hands wrapped around my head, pulling me down to her. I went from one breast to the other, sucking on her very stiff nipples. She had large breasts and I began squeezing them and she was getting into it, if her moans told the truth.

She moved up on the bed and I slipped off her panties, baring her full mound. She spread her legs as I buried my face in her soft brown mound, rubbing it all over. I slowly lowered my face to the lips of her pussy and spread her lips with my fingers, sticking my tongue into her soft wet pussy with darting motions.

Eventually I put on a condom and got between her legs and we fucked. Damn, she felt good. After a few minutes with me on top she turned over and I took her from behind. I loved it when she pushed her ass up against my hard cock. It wasn't long before I came.

In the weeks that followed she became a little more daring and took off her blouse at the parties. I think she liked the looks of other men seeing her with me. Kind of 'you can see me but you can't have me'. I really didn't mind because she was only intimate with me.

If she wanted to be shared, it would be over for us. It's just the way I felt about the women I dated. While dating them monogamously I wouldn't be with other women and I expected the same from the women I was dating.

At one party she had drunk a lot and got more amorous. I couldn't believe it when she slipped off her shorts and gave me a lap dance naked. She pulled out my cock and it was really hard. I reached for a condom and she told me I didn't need one, she was on the pill.

I thought with my dick instead of my brain as she rode me to a huge orgasm. I knew I had to have filled her pussy up with cum. Looking back I remember her looking over at this Brent guy but didn't think anything of it.

For the next two months we had sex without using a condom. Then one day she told me she was pregnant. When I asked her what happened, she said she didn't know. She even showed me her used pill case.

She asked me if I was going to marry her. I told her I needed a little bit of time to think. She told me how much she loved me and asked me if I loved her. Of course I said I did, but I wasn't sure.

That weekend I went home to talk with my dad. He was very discouraged with me but told me I should do the honorable thing and marry her if I thought I really cared for her.

I graduated two months later and we got married in a small ceremony before she showed any more. She was quite large even then. I was blown away when we found out she was having twins. I was in kind of shock.

I graduated from college with honors and became an associate at my Dad's firm. Marlene thought we would have a lot of money but I told her we would some day, but for now I had to learn the ropes from the bottom up.

My parents did give us twenty-five thousand dollars to purchase a nice three bedroom home. Of course this was back in the sixties. Instead of buying the smaller home, Marlene wanted a bigger one and used the money as a down payment. I was a little aggravated about it but I knew we could make the monthly payments.

My mom was so happy after the birth of the babies. She offered to watch them whenever Marlene needed help, which seemed to be just about every day. No matter what I did, Marlene never seemed to be satisfied. I worked a lot of hours to support my family. I felt a little guilty not being home more often but I was learning all about the company, in which Dad promised me a partnership some day.

A month after the kids were born Marlene went to the gym to work out. She said she needed to get her figure back. After about six months Marlene said she wanted to go back and finish her acting classes in college. She argued that I was always gone and she was staying home with the kids. Even though my mother had them most of the time, it wasn't worth arguing about.

She went back during the day and took acting courses. I honestly couldn't understand why. We lived in Ohio and other than some community theatre there wasn't much else she could do with an acting degree or certificate.

We hired a part-time nanny who watched the kids while Marlene took her courses. All other times Mom was more than happy to watch the kids. Dad and I had a talk. He asked me how things were at home, along with the love life.

I told him I was trying, but Marlene always wanted more. The money I gave her each week to run the household was never enough. Things didn't seem that good for a couple that was married less than a year.

Dad was always honest with me and told me I should have a blood test done to make sure Mike and Lisa were my kids. They didn't have the quick DNA at the time. I was pissed at Dad for suggesting it but I knew he was right.

I had the tests done and they came back stating that the twins were my kids. I was happy and so was Dad. It was then I realized he loved them too. We might not have spent as much time with the babies but we did feel the love.

After that Dad didn't tell me, but he had a friend follow Marlene over the next month or so. I had to go on overnight trips for the company and still worked long hours. Dad did pay all my expenses out of the business and also gave me a pay increase, which Marlene was able to quickly spend.

I have to admit that I probably spent too much time working but I knew that in the future it would all pay off. My dad was going to make me a full partner in the main firm. He told me that some day he hoped that I would be able to take over the main office.

Then the sky would be the limit for me and my family. Many times I tried to explain it to Marlene, but all she could think about was she wanted the money now and she wanted to become an actress. One day she even told me she didn't want to be a housewife. I didn't know what to think.

As far as our sex life went, we had sex pretty regularly when we were both home in the evenings. Marlene didn't seem to be as interested as she was before giving birth to the kids. She didn't deny me sex; it's just that it was rather routine, like the love part had left.

****

I want to tell you a little about Marlene's family. She was the youngest of five kids born to Evelyn and Ed Davis. They were a nice middle class family. They got along well with Mom and Dad. It was after Marlene and I got married that they told us that she was their wild child. She always had this idea of being rich and famous.

The rest of the Davis family all lived normal lives. They were all married and the Davis's had twelve grandchildren so far, counting my kids, Mike and Lisa. We would see them once in a while, but Evelyn would go over and see the kids when Mom had them, which was quite often.

One day I got back early from a trip and Dad called me into the office and showed me the investigator's report. He even had pictures of Marlene with another man. I recognized him right off; it was Brent from her college class.

According to the report, Marlene went to her acting class, and on a number of occasions she went to the motel with this guy Brent. It was a cheap motel off the beaten path and it didn't have a restaurant, so we knew they weren't going out to eat.

The investigator was able to get a couple of photos through an opening in the drapes. There was no doubt what they were doing. I knew I had to confront Marlene with the cheating evidence. Dad and I talked for a while about what my choices would be. I knew there would be a divorce, I had no doubt there, but I needed to have a plan for the kids. I took the folder and had tears in my eyes as I left Dad's office.

Dad had mentioned that one of the reasons he didn't give me a higher raise was because he wanted to wait and see how Marlene and I got along. He said he had doubts about our relationship but didn't want to say anything at the time.

I went to talk with my mother. She had the kids and I was happy to see them. Mom told me that Marlene said she had a special practice and would be home rather late and asked her if she could keep the kids for the night. I had this gut feeling that she was with this Brent guy.

I mentioned to Mom what Dad had found out and that I would be divorcing Marlene. Mom had tears in her eyes; she loved the babies. My biggest problem was the kids. There was no way I could take care of them full time and work. I sure wasn't going to give full custody to Marlene and her lover.

Mom loved the kids like they were her own. Eventually they called her Nana and my Dad, Papa. Mom and I talked for a while and she said I could move back into their house, which was really huge, and she would help raise the kids. I decided to go see our family lawyer and seek out my options. I got home late that night and the house was still dark.

It was three in the morning before Marlene arrived home. To see me sitting there on the couch was more than a huge surprise.

"Bud! What are you doing home? You said you wouldn't be home till tomorrow." I could tell she was extremely nervous.

"This is tomorrow. I suggest you sit down; we have a lot to talk about."

"Bud, it's late and I need a shower and I'm dead tired. Can't this wait until morning?"

"No it can't. Sit your cheating ass down in that chair right now or get the fuck out of my house!"

She was scared, nervous and also mad. She did sit down and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you? Are you drunk? You have no right to talk to me that way, besides this is as much my house as it is yours."

"That's yet to be decided," I said to her. She didn't say anything about the cheating.

"Marlene, here's what I know. You're a cheating whore wife." She got ready to say something and I told her to just shut up and listen. She could talk all she wanted to in a few minutes.

I told her that I knew she was having an affair with her old friend Brent. I wanted to know when it started. I made sure she knew that we were getting a divorce. If I felt she would tell me the truth, she would get off a lot easier than if she lied to me.

I let her know her options up front. I was going to ask for custody of our kids. We would be moving back to Mom and Dad's house and the kids would be raised there. If she cooperated she and her parents would have visiting rights to see the kids.

If she lied to me or tried to fight custody of the kids I would take her to court and show her infidelity to her family and friends. I opened my folder and took out pictures of her going into the cheap motel, arm-in arm with Brent. I showed her a couple of more pictures of them having sex in the room. I even told her she should have closed the curtains better.

She sat in the chair slumped over. She knew she was caught in the act and it was on more than one occasion. I told her I had most of the answers but I wanted to hear it out of her mouth. "When did this affair begin?" I asked. "You wanted to talk, so now it's your turn. If I catch you in a lie, I'll kick your ass out of here tonight."