Confessions From an Affair

(It's 1942 and Jack spends his last night at home with his pregnant wife before going off to war)

Fat!

Ugly!

These were the thoughts that rang out in my head as I stepped out of the shower and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was eight months pregnant and I would have sworn that it was some alien's image looking back at me.

It wasn't just my stomach. My face was swollen to the point that I looked like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter. My breasts, which were never that impressive to begin with, had also swelled to the point where that I was aware of their weight for the first time in my life.

This was to be my husband, Jack's, last night at home. His unit had received orders that they were to deploy to Northern Africa in two day's time. Tomorrow morning he would have to report to different quarters with the rest of the soldiers for last minute preparations before they were transported away.

Jack had tried his best to have his orders delayed until after the birth of our child. Unfortunately, the United States was way behind in their schedule for entering the war and they needed every man that they could find. I don't know which thing made me more upset – the fact that he was leaving to fight in a war or the fact that he would miss the birth of out first child.

I tried my best to bury my heartbreak. I wanted tonight to be something special. I was consciously doing everything in my power to not think it, but there was a tiny voice in my brain that I just couldn't make go away.

This may be the very last time that we ever made love.

I rubbed the towel over my wet hair vigorously in an effort to drive the voice from my head.

No! I must NEVER think anything like that!

I finished drying off and donned Jack's robe. It almost made me cry when I thought about how I had to borrow his because mine had grown much too small for me. Thinking that there wasn't anything else that I could possibly do to magically improve my appearance; I opened the bathroom door and walked across the hall to our bedroom.

As I entered the room, I found Jack busy packing items into his large duffle bag. When he noticed my entrance, Jack stopped what he was doing and gazed at me. I wanted so much to run away and hide! I thought that I looked as big as a house and that no man on earth could possibly find anything about me to be appealing.

Much to his credit, Jack's face broke into a smile as he looked at me. I felt very self-conscious, but I was eternally grateful that my husband would be so sweet to me. Jack straightened up and turned to face me.

"Peg, you are the most beautiful thing that I have laid my eyes on," he said.

I laughed and tried to make a joke out of it, "Maybe if the US Army knew how bad your eyes were, they'd let you stay home."

Jack looked at me with a puzzled expression and slowly shook his head. He walked slowly across the room to me and took my face in his soft hands.

"Don't say that," he said tenderly, "Don't you know how beautiful you look to me?"

My heart felt like it was going to melt. I knew that he was telling a bald faced lie, but it was so touching that he'd go to such extremes just for me. I started to tell him so –

"Jack, you are such a – "

He wouldn't let me finish.

"Shhhh," he whispered, "You are the most beautiful wife that any man could ever wish for. And knowing that you are carrying our child inside you makes you look even lovelier in my eyes."

I searched his eyes - and if he was lying to me, then he must have been the best liar on the face of the earth. Tears welled in my eyes as I gazed back at him. Through the lump in my throat I softly said, "I love you, Jack."

Jack's eyes looked directly into mine. Slowly, he dropped his hands and loosened the belt of my robe.

"I want to see all of you," he said quietly.

I made no motion to stop him from what he was doing. I felt the tie on the robe come undone and the robe fell open – exposing my swollen belly. Jack took a half-step back and raised his hands to the collar of the robe. He peeled the material from my shoulders and I let him drop it to the floor to stand completely naked before him.

Jack's eyes wandered slowly up and down my body. I was feeling very self-conscious again and I knew that I was blushing all over. He lifted his hands to my belly and touched me tenderly.

"I am going to love the two of you so much," he said.

I could I feel that I was about to cry at any second. How did I ever deserve a man such as this? Jack looked at me with such love and tenderness in his eyes. I couldn't possibly describe to you how happy I was to have his baby inside me. Unable to find any words, I just placed my hands over his on my stomach. In that moment, he had done the impossible – Jack had made me feel like I

was

truly was beautiful.

I lifted my hands and started to undo the buttons of his shirt. Jack's eyes never left mine and his hands never left my belly. That voice was back inside my head again, but I pushed it back into the deepest recesses of my mind. Tonight I wanted to make love to my husband. I absolutely was not going to think about anything other than that.

Jack's shirt fell to the floor at our feet and I reached for the belt on his pants. I quickly undid it and unsnapped his pants. I recalled how much of a chore this had been at the beginning. The awkwardness that had been present during our earlier attempts at making love had been replaced by a self-assuredness that comes from knowing with all of your heart that you want to make love and that your husband truly loves everything about you.

Jack stepped out of his trousers; his hardness pressing against my belly. His evident excitement was one last reminder that he still really did find me attractive. We wrapped our arms around each another and kissed passionately. Jack did not hold me too tightly out of fear of harming the baby, but I clung fiercely to his neck as our tongues slid seductively along one another's

We moved to the bed where Jack whisked the covers back and laid me down on the cool sheets. He climbed onto the bed next to me and we kissed deeply once again. Jack kissed a trail from my lips, down my neck, and finally to the swell of my breasts. I cradled his head lovingly to me as his lips fastened themselves over one of my nipples. I couldn't help but let a soft moan escape my lips.

Jack moved his lips from one sensitive nipple to the other. The whole time, his hand smoothed itself over my huge belly. I could feel myself getting wetter down below. I don't know if I ever wanted to be made love to him more than I did at that very moment.

I let out a gasp as Jack's hand wandered down a little further and touched my moist opening. He dragged his fingers slowly up and down my slit over and over. I was squirming like an animal in heat beneath him – wanting so much more, but letting him set his own pace. I climaxed as soon as his fingers finally touched my most sensitive spot.

Jack lifted his mouth from my breast to gaze into my eyes as my orgasm shook me. I tried my best to look back into his eyes, but my vision became quite blurry while waves of pleasure rolled through me.

"I love you so much, Peg," he breathed.

His fingers continued to play with me slowly. "I love you too, darling, I managed.

My hand moved down to grasp his manhood tightly. While looking directly into his eyes, I begged, "Please make love to me."

Without a word, Jack lifted himself over the top of me as I eagerly spread my legs beneath him. His arms were fully extended to keep his weight off of me and I could see the muscles of his magnificent chest and shoulders straining with the effort.

Jack eased himself forward until I could feel his hardness probing against my opening. I was so wet from his earlier ministrations that he easily slid inside me.

"Ohhh, God...," I cried out.

We hadn't made love in the past three weeks because I had gotten so big and we were both concerned about the safety of the baby. Tonight all I could think about was having my husband deep inside me. I wanted to hold him there forever if I could. He started out thrusting into me gently. I could see him watching my face carefully

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I bit my lower lip and nodded my head. "Yes, darling. It feels so good.'

I used my hands to urge him into more vigorous action. Jack began thrusting into me harder. He still had that look of concern on his face, but now it was beginning to be mixed with another look – a look of growing hunger.

He started to really move more forcefully. I could feel my body being pushed into the soft mattress with each powerful stroke. We both began moaning our pleasure out loud. This was definitely not the time to worry about being heard through the thin walls.

Suddenly, I became aware that Jack was starting to put a little too much pressure on my belly. He was beginning to loose control as his pleasure mounted. I placed my hands against his ribs and tried to hold him off of me. Jack saw what was happening and immediately pulled away from me.

"Are you okay," he asked with much concern.

I hadn't wanted him to stop. I wanted so much for him to enjoy tonight. I felt bad that I wasn't able to freely give myself over to him in my condition.

"Wait," I said.

I rolled over onto my stomach beneath him and drew my knees up towards my hips. I kept my forearms pressed down flat and my bottom now was on display before him. I knew that I had gained too much weight down there, but it was the only position that I could think of where I could take the pressure off of my swollen belly.

Jack didn't need any more advice. He quickly took hold of my hips and guided himself back inside me. I gripped the pillow tightly as he started thrusting into me. Once again he started out slowly to make sure that I was alright.

I was way more than alright. I could feel him penetrating farther inside me than usual and it felt so wonderful. Jack also must have liked this new position. He quickly saw that he was not hurting me and started to push into me much harder. I loved the feel of him holding my hips and drawing me back against him with each powerful thrust. I could hear the sound of our skin slapping against each others over the sounds of our moans and groans.

When Jack pushed all of the way inside me, he gave his hips a little wiggle. This was something completely new to me. I found that I liked it very much. It wasn't long before I could feel another orgasm building inside me. Jack sure didn't have to use his hands to draw me back against him anymore. I was willingly pushing back against him as hard as I could.

I pushed my face into the pillow and screamed my pleasure as my orgasm took me. Jack's grip on my hips tightened and I could feel him reach his release even as I was wracked with spasms of pleasure. His hot seed exploded inside me and I never felt as whole as I did at that moment.

After we had both finished with our orgasms, Jack held me in the same position. I could feel his gentle hands moving over my bottom and up my sides to touch my swollen belly. He kept murmuring about how beautiful I was. I didn't think anyone could ever think that my big backside was beautiful, so I twisted around and laid down on my back. Jack laid down on his side with his head propped up on his hand and gazed at me. He once again placed his big hand on my stomach and tenderly traced the contours of its bloated size.

"I still can't believe that our baby is right inside there," he said wonderingly.

I took his hand and guided it a bit lower on my belly. Just then the baby kicked.

"Does that help you believe it a little better?" I asked.

Jack got that adorably goofy grin on his face as he felt the movement. "He's going to be a strong one, I bet," he said.

"Or

she

," I replied.

"No," Jack said, "it's definitely going to be a boy. I just know it is."

I looked at him for a moment. "Will you be disappointed if it is a girl?" I asked him.

"No," he replied, "a little girl that is as beautiful as her mother would be pretty terrific, too.

"In any event," he continued, "I don't think he or

she

is too pleased with the way that we disturbed him tonight."

I smiled up at Jack coyly. "Babies can be very adaptable," I told him, "I don't think she would mind too awfully much being disturbed just once more tonight."

Jack leered down at me. I think his little wife had maybe shocked him a little bit. However, the shock didn't last too long. He took me in his arms and we made love again. It was a sweet and tender coupling this time. There was none of the pent up desires or overpowering hunger of our earlier lovemaking. I think that we both wanted to stretch out what little time we had together. Though it may have been somewhat less aggressive, it was none the less just as incredible.

We slept that night in each other's arms. I had wanted to stay awake all night and just enjoy having my husband here with me, but I succumbed to sleep in the wee hours of the morning. The alarm clock woke us up all too soon. There wasn't enough time for us to make love again. Jack got himself up and started gathering his things. I busied myself in the kitchen, trying my hardest not to think about the fact that I had no idea when I would see him again after today.

After we had some breakfast, it was time for Jack to leave. He joined the other men in formation out in front of our quarters. They all looked so splendid in their uniforms. It was a shame that they would all be leaving us. The sergeant barked an order and all of the men came to attention. The next thing that you knew, they were marching off down the road.

A group of the wives had gathered together. I went over to join them as our husbands marched away. I was shocked that even Millie, that tough talking New Yorker, was helpless to stop her tears.

What would become of our husbands? What would become of us? None of us had any idea of the trials and hardships that awaited us. I said a silent prayer.

"Please, God...Please look after these men. Keep them safe."

I couldn't go on any longer. I was crying just as hard as everyone else. Maria took me by the hand and led me back to my door.

"Don't worry, Payjee," she said, "Everything will be okay. We still all have each other."

I tried my best to smile. I knew that Maria must be feeling the same emotions inside and she didn't need to be worried about me on top of everything else. I thanked her and went inside and closed the door. The oppressive silence enveloped me once again. The silence was only broken by the sound of the heavy thud of artillery coming from the practice firing range.

"Please, God..." I began.

But, I couldn't go on any further. Instead, I let the tears come.

(Please come back soon as the story continues)