(It's 1942 and Jack spends his last night at home with his pregnant wife before going off to war)
Fat!
Ugly!
These were the thoughts that rang out in my head as I stepped out of the shower and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was eight months pregnant and I would have sworn that it was some alien's image looking back at me.
It wasn't just my stomach. My face was swollen to the point that I looked like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter. My breasts, which were never that impressive to begin with, had also swelled to the point where that I was aware of their weight for the first time in my life.
This was to be my husband, Jack's, last night at home. His unit had received orders that they were to deploy to Northern Africa in two day's time. Tomorrow morning he would have to report to different quarters with the rest of the soldiers for last minute preparations before they were transported away.
Jack had tried his best to have his orders delayed until after the birth of our child. Unfortunately, the United States was way behind in their schedule for entering the war and they needed every man that they could find. I don't know which thing made me more upset – the fact that he was leaving to fight in a war or the fact that he would miss the birth of out first child.
I tried my best to bury my heartbreak. I wanted tonight to be something special. I was consciously doing everything in my power to not think it, but there was a tiny voice in my brain that I just couldn't make go away.
This may be the very last time that we ever made love.
I rubbed the towel over my wet hair vigorously in an effort to drive the voice from my head.
No! I must NEVER think anything like that!
I finished drying off and donned Jack's robe. It almost made me cry when I thought about how I had to borrow his because mine had grown much too small for me. Thinking that there wasn't anything else that I could possibly do to magically improve my appearance; I opened the bathroom door and walked across the hall to our bedroom.
As I entered the room, I found Jack busy packing items into his large duffle bag. When he noticed my entrance, Jack stopped what he was doing and gazed at me. I wanted so much to run away and hide! I thought that I looked as big as a house and that no man on earth could possibly find anything about me to be appealing.
Much to his credit, Jack's face broke into a smile as he looked at me. I felt very self-conscious, but I was eternally grateful that my husband would be so sweet to me. Jack straightened up and turned to face me.
"Peg, you are the most beautiful thing that I have laid my eyes on," he said.
I laughed and tried to make a joke out of it, "Maybe if the US Army knew how bad your eyes were, they'd let you stay home."
Jack looked at me with a puzzled expression and slowly shook his head. He walked slowly across the room to me and took my face in his soft hands.
"Don't say that," he said tenderly, "Don't you know how beautiful you look to me?"
My heart felt like it was going to melt. I knew that he was telling a bald faced lie, but it was so touching that he'd go to such extremes just for me. I started to tell him so –
"Jack, you are such a – "
He wouldn't let me finish.
"Shhhh," he whispered, "You are the most beautiful wife that any man could ever wish for. And knowing that you are carrying our child inside you makes you look even lovelier in my eyes."
I searched his eyes - and if he was lying to me, then he must have been the best liar on the face of the earth. Tears welled in my eyes as I gazed back at him. Through the lump in my throat I softly said, "I love you, Jack."
Jack's eyes looked directly into mine. Slowly, he dropped his hands and loosened the belt of my robe.
"I want to see all of you," he said quietly.
I made no motion to stop him from what he was doing. I felt the tie on the robe come undone and the robe fell open – exposing my swollen belly. Jack took a half-step back and raised his hands to the collar of the robe. He peeled the material from my shoulders and I let him drop it to the floor to stand completely naked before him.
Jack's eyes wandered slowly up and down my body. I was feeling very self-conscious again and I knew that I was blushing all over. He lifted his hands to my belly and touched me tenderly.
"I am going to love the two of you so much," he said.