We were just married and in the car, on our way to the cabin where we would spend our honeymoon. I was nervous -- I felt like I was suddenly sitting next to a stranger and I couldn't think of anything to say. Perhaps Robert was nervous too, because he seemed to be going very fast. Much too fast.
I didn't want to say anything and seem like I was wining. I didn't want to start off that way. Then, I got an idea. I kissed him on his cheek. On his chin. On his nose. Light, small kisses. At the stop light, I kissed him full on the mouth. "Bring it down a few notches and I promise not to stop," I whispered in his ear. His eyes didn't leave the road, but I saw a small grin playing at the corners of his mouth. And when we started moving again, we stayed well below the speed limit.
I kissed his eyes and his cheekbones and his neck and licked his ear. Then I noticed his hard on. That wasn't my intention. I only intended to think up a creative way to prevent us from being killed before we even had our honeymoon.
But since I was the cause of this discomfort, I thought I should really do something about it. It was only fair. I'd heard of people who gave head while driving. I'd never dreamed of doing such a thing, but I found myself reaching down to unzip his fly.
Suddenly his hand shot out grasped my arm so quickly I gasped in fright. He held me there in his unyielding grip until we pulled over into a nearby gas station. He stopped the car and turned to look straight into my eyes with a hard, steely gaze, still holding me tight. "I will never be the kind of guy who does that sort of thing." He let go of my arm and gripped the steering wheel with whitened knuckles and stared straight ahead, as if he couldn't even look at me anymore. "I didn't think you were like that either," he said, before slamming on the gas angrily and peeling out of the parking lot.
I sank back into my seat, rubbing my arm. I didn't know what I could possibly say. I felt so awful that he felt betrayed, as if he was tricked into marrying one person and suddenly discovered he was now shackled to another. As if daddy's little girl had turned out to be a whore. It wasn't true -- I'm not really like that. One thing just led to another, I wasn't really thinking about it. I didn't plan it that way -- I didn't even really want to do it, I just thought maybe I owed it to him to do it. But I didn't know what to say, how to explain to him that I didn't mean it and that he hadn't been betrayed. I sat there miserably in my seat all the rest of the way to the cabin, too miserable even to care that we were racing there at breakneck speed.
He still didn't speak to me or even look at me as we arrived at the cabin and checked ourselves in. I had been nervous before about the "honeymoon" part. I mean, I had never made love before. I wasn't a virgin, but I'd never I'd never had sex by choice, either. Now, I wondered if we'd even sleep in the same bed, let along sleep together.
But when we got to the room, Robert lit the fire. He turned down the lights and began undressing. I put on the negligee I'd purchased just for tonight. Robert didn't put on anything. He came toward me in the half light and stroked my cheek with his thumb. He put his hand behind my head and leaned down to kiss me gently, then more deeply. I was relieved and threw myself into it, kissing him passionately and fervently. I still felt bad about what had happened and wanted to please him desperately. So I slowly bent down on my knees before him, intending to take him into my mouth.
