After Luna departed, I returned to my well used bed and tried drifting off to the sleep that neither of us had allowed. I smelled her on the pillows and thought about her wonderful hair that I had enjoyed so much.
I liked calling her Moon, but my mind would have to shift to Luna now that I knew her real name. I understood why she'd made that modification and wondered if she used Moon for other situations. I hoped that I would be able to see her again soon; I wanted to spend more time with her.
I had a difficult time accepting her remarkable comment about my bisexuality. I'd never met a woman so open before. Most of my female sexual partners eventually got used to the idea of my bisexuality and some were accepting very early, but none had been seeking a bisexual man.
While women found me attractive, this part of me was an unwanted surprise. Luna's attitude was a difficult concept for my brain to take in. I chose to let sleep takeover.
I awoke rested and smiling, taking in the satisfaction of the night's activities and still feeling Moon in my bed. Eventually, I left the bedroom and enjoyed some coffee to start my day at noon.
While enjoying my wakeup brew with thoughts of the night before, I used my laptop to send a missive to Luna. We hadn't exchanged phone numbers yet, so email was the only way to reach her. I told her how much I had valued our time together and hoped for more.
I also thanked her for staying so late and worried that she'd be tired during her school time. I ended the note, "Thinking of you..." But then I decided to include my phone number at the end. She could decide what she wanted to do with that information. I wanted to keep us moving forward.
It was not until dinner time that I received a response from Luna. There was a text which said, "Hi. Thinking of you too..." I wondered where she was and I immediately responded asking how she was. "Tired but good," was the quick reply. "Are you home now?" I queried and she replied, "I'm in my bed and likely to fall asleep."
"Wish that I were in your bed with you," I entered with full honesty. "My children are in their rooms on this floor, so that can't happen." Now I understood the full protective nature of this woman for her children. She might have given me a phone call, but her voice might be overheard.
She would keep me at arm's length about anything to do with her children. They wouldn't know of me until some future time. I began to feel that this was like being with a married woman, which technically she was. "I'll text you more later." I sensed that she was already drifting off to her much needed sleep. "Pleasant dreams," I replied while envisioning her snuggled alone into her feminine bed.
What was her room like? Was her bed soft with lots of pillows like many women? Would I get an opportunity to be in her bed naked with her? I would have to be patient and allow this new attraction to unfold in its own time. I hadn't texted much before but I could foresee a lot more texting in my near future. The positive energy was filling my mind and my house.
On Saturday morning my phone announced a new text, "My ex has the kids and I can visit, if u r free." It was music to my ears. I hadn't anticipated a return so soon and that suggested that she had truly enjoyed our time too.
I responded that I didn't have plans and would be more than happy to see her again. "Great!" "Come for dinner and more..." I suggested. "Does that mean I can get more massage?" she entertainingly queried. "I'd love to have you on my table again." I was enjoying this texting and the speed of communication.
I knew I would enjoy her naked body even more and it seemed as though that was imminent. Luna accepted my dinner invitation and I was fortunate that she didn't have any food issues, so I could plan what to provide.
"Are you feeling rested?" I texted and she declared that her body was ready for more time with my hands and more. I was cheered to receive these words and expressed my own readiness to have more body time with her. Luna cautioned that she needed to complete her study work in order to be free for the evening. I ceded any remaining time and suggested that she text me when she was on the way.
I decided that I had everything in the house for a simple Italian pasta and salad. I always had bottles of red wine in the wine rack and I checked to make sure that I had the makings for a martini if she wanted to have one.
I chose to keep myself busy with cleaning and putting fresh sheets on the bed. The current sheets were from Thursday night's excitement and truly needed to be replaced. I had indulged myself with a second night of sleeping with the scent of Moon still lingering in my bed. I wondered if that nurtured my feeling that I was falling in love or was just it another clue that I was already in that state and seeking affirmation.
For me, being in love meant just wanting to spend time with that person. It didn't matter what was happening. Non-sexual time was just as happy as sexual time. Touching her or looking at her were equally stimulating. My mind and my heart were melding together to convince me that I had discovered rich paydirt for my deep longings.
I had to be careful not to push too far ahead. I wouldn't be untruthful, but I needed to avoid scaring her away. I couldn't be overwhelming, but I didn't want to be unreal, avoiding what might be obvious to her. I was the one struggling with being in love. There, I had said it, I was in love!
Did I feel differently after that realization? Of course, I did. I'm sure that my smile broadened and my body might have weighed ten pounds lighter. The sounds of the birds outside my window were more melodic and the light coming through my tree was more dazzling.
Were the smaller life forms also aware of my change of state in less than 48 hours? Would I relate to all energies differently now? I hadn't fallen in love in almost a decade and maybe longer. Apparently, I wasn't too old to discover that remarkable state of being in love once again.
The future that I had to think about was only the immediate. I wouldn't envision how she might respond if I told her. I wouldn't consider the pain if she changed her mind or rejected me. I would just enjoy the lightness of my current state and nurture my inner happiness, hoping that it would be infectious.
I had had others fall in love with me when I wasn't in that same state, so I could understand how it might be for her. I had always spoken truthfully but with tenderness to those who were more enamored of me than I was of them. I couldn't make her love me. It would happen or not and that was one of the great mysteries of the universe.
But what if she were falling in love with me too? That was too large of a question for me to take on. Now I was truly jumping the gun and not thinking prudently. I was only in control of myself and wouldn't complicate the situation with more "what ifs?" I wouldn't preplan other than the cooking of dinner. I would do my best to be in the moment and avoid any anticipatory thoughts. I would listen when she spoke and not take too much meaning in her choice of words. Just enjoy being with her. Isn't that how you know you are in love?