Catherine left her office at the college a bit late in the day, at least late for her, and trudged across the darkening parking lot. On her way to her car, she noticed someone playing basketball on the nearby court. From a distance, she thought that he was familiar. She wasn't just sure.
She also didn't know if that made her feel better and safer or not. That caused a spate of thoughts to race across her mind. She realized that she'd been doing more and more of this kind of thinking lately.
They were thoughts like 'Maybe he's here to grab me!' or 'Maybe this is my chance and my ravisher is waiting for me.'
The thoughts were mental games that she allowed herself to play but she increasingly understood that they were games of desperation.
She was, at least she thought, a not unattractive 35 but there seemed to be no one who was on the make, or looking or sniffing around or any of those cute phrases that are used for guys who are interested and seeking.
She was aware of some of the married members of the faculty who did give her looks but she certainly wasn't heading in that direction.
"A home wrecker I'm not!" she'd frequently say to herself and turn those kinds of offers down flat.
She suspected, with some truth too, that her doing just that, turning those kinds of offers down had gotten her a kind of 'ice maiden' reputation that she didn't feel was justified at all.
Of herself, in those dark moments of personal truthfulness, and glasses of wine, normally late at night, and also normally to the music of Sinatra, she just said that she was simply 'underused'. That was her word.
She didn't feel that she was desperate. The only desperation that she knew was the desperation of there being no more chances for her. That thought crowded her alone times, when she would let it, entertain it, and it made her shiver.
So, here she was, walking to her car, fantasizing about being seized by whoever it was that was playing some basketball. It was a pleasant enough thought, that is, if you were Catherine Little and liked those kinds of thoughts.
This Friday night the world was in balance for her but the balance was precarious. She faced a weekend of nothing to do, and not many creative thoughts about how to do it.
This move to the college town away from friends and family was supposed to be 'good' for her, and here it was, she feared, pushing her toward 'old maidhood'. And her being so largely untried.
In the depths of these kinds of thoughts she even gave some consideration to trying 'girls' but never had the nerve to go to one of the local lesbian bars and 'strut her stuff.'
"Oh, Catherine," she chided herself, "You are all talk, that's all."
Then the fragile balance of her world collapsed in the form of a flat tire!
Catherine wailed out loud. It was the last straw in a pretty difficult week. Without very much of a preliminary, she found herself weeping; it was full out weeping, head in the hands weeping, end of the line weeping, 'why the hell has this happened to me,' weeping.'
It was only as she began to calm down from her weeping that she heard a voice from not too far away:
"Dr. Little, are you okay?" the voice asked in a lovely soft tone.
"Oh, Rafael," Catherine said, looking around and seeing that the one who had been playing basketball was a student of hers Rafael Regis.
He was a handsome boy, almost, she thought, pretty, from the Virgin Islands. His skin a lovely dark brown color and his teeth, when he smiled sparkly.
"Yes," she said in return, "I'm having this little fit here; it's been a hard week, and now, at the end of it, I have a flat tire and don't know anything about fixing flat tires."
She began to sob again.
"Now, Dr Little," he said, "It's not really as bad as all that."
"Don't you try to cajole me out of my weltschmerz, Rafael!" she said a little sharply.
"I'm certainly not trying to deprive you of your 'weltschmerz'," he said, "But I'm going to change your tire for you."
Catherine cried again; this act of kindness was almost too much for her, even though now she didn't know why she was crying.
In the middle of her weeping, she enfolded Rafael into her arms and wept on his shoulder. He didn't know what to do with this emotional professor, his philosophy professor. He kind of dangled his hands down at his side.
"Thank you, Rafael," she said, brushing the tears away, "I mean for fixing the tire and also letting me have my little crisis here."
"Crisis over?" he asked, smiling, and getting a kind of ragged smile in return.
"For now," she said, wiping her eyes and then continued:
"Oh! The tire fixing things. Yes, the trunk."
She opened the trunk and watched him as he fixed the tire and put the spare, a 'donut' on.
"This tire is not very good for driving on, and is only for emergencies," he said. "You should go and get the other fixed right away."
"Ohhhhhhhh!" she said, and he was afraid that she was going to begin again.
He held up his hand and said:
"I'll go with you and make sure that it is fixed and put on your car. You just do the driving, Dr. Little!"
"Would you really? Oh, Rafael," she said. "I appreciate that so much."
"My pleasure," he said, "Damsel in distress and all that."
"Damsel in crisis is more like it," she said, "And I'll work on that, I promise. At least no more of it, while we're together. Are you ready?"
"Yes, ready," he said, and they left.
She noticed just a bit of difficulty with the driving. They found a tire place and he took care of negotiating for getting the other tire fixed, it had a nail in it, and all. It went smoothly.
When the job was done, and they were in the car again, Catherine looked at Rafael and said:
"I appreciate the help, Rafael, especially when I was having my world ending crisis right in your face. Will you please let me take you to dinner? Please?"
He smiled at her:
"Lovely thought," he said.
"The least that I can do for your help," was her response.
"Can you wait for me to wash up a bit and change?" he asked.
"Yes, of course," she answered, "Then I'll need to do the same."
They went to his student housing building.
"Welcome to the stalag!" he said.
"It seems so horrible!" she answered.
"Yes, it is a little worse than it looks," he said with a laugh.
"Oh, dear!" she said to him.
"As you wait for me, please lock your doors," he said. "I don't trust all the neighbors here."
She said 'oh dear' again but followed his advice.
He was only gone about 15 minutes or so, and came back wearing clean shorts and a clean soft knit shirt.
"Spiffy!' she said, "Nice transformation."
"The lady is so polite"! He remarked with a smile.
"Except when she's having a melt down!" was her response.