Unrequited, affair, longing, early attraction, workplace romance, confusion, temptation. No actual sex...yet, but maybe moving forward...
There were a total of three hugs in the length of a four year relationship. The professional relationship. VERY professional. Unfortunately, I'm being serious. The relationship stayed professional.
My whole team was fabulous - we worked well together, communicated, and understood our values. We kicked ass.
In working with our clients we encountered dangerous and unpredictable situations and scenarios on an almost daily basis, although the bulk of the heavy lifting landed on Stevie's shoulders and on mine. I'm the team lead, and most experienced supporting our clients' unique needs. Stevei's experience is also considerable, which meant that we meshed well in the office and on billables.
Although our age difference was not insignificant, the issue was never relevant.
After several years of physical danger in the field through violence and exposure to toxic chemicals, Stevie reached for his dream - becoming a firefighter.
What an incredible opportunity to move toward his dreams. The immediate professional ramifications for my airtight team were front in my mind. Interviewing and training replacements would take time and bureaucracy to track interested parties down. Not many can do what we must.
It wasn't until a few weeks later I recognized more frequent interactions. More complimentary and personal interactions.
Upon seeing me manage a client issue, he showered me with praise - my creativity, strength of will were notable - and he admired my methods and gall.
Sometime later, I found a sticky note of mine covered with another. My note read, "don't forget to file your paperwork, dummy!" Stevie's note, stuck in order to cover the final word, finished the sentence with, "wonderful person who makes mistakes."
All of these encounters (few though there were compared to how often we spoke during each day) rung a tiny little bell in my head. I sometimes felt eye contact lingered too long, or the smile was about something I might have missed. However, I can't be trusted with social cues.
Stevie often finished his day around three minutes after everyone else had left. Usually it was a quick report and he's off. Usually. Some days he would linger - talking about work, sharing a DIY project, or completing paperwork. When he did stay, we were occupied - in conversation about client contracts, safety protocol, or plumbing advice.
Everyday before he left he asked, "is there anything I can do to make your life easier before I leave?"
