WARNING: This story contains poetry! Not much, but some.
This connects only VERY tangentially to my other stories, so feel free to kick back and enjoy it. I've written it for Lit's annual Nude Day contest, so read all the entries and vote up your favorites!
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I popped a new piece of gum and looked over into the corner of the studio, where Grundle sat with his feet up on the console and his nose buried in his phone. As I sometimes did, I wondered about his life: here he was in a little room with three naked people (two of them svelte, eager fillies, which I knew was the kind of thing he was into), running sound and lighting for a show with every kind of raunchy question imaginable, and yet there he sat, watching the clock, unwilling or unable to raise even the slightest hard-on in his black basketball shorts.
That's what you get when you produce sex shows for four years, I guessed: a case of terminal boredom. We paid Grundle a hundred an hour, and these days he could get these things taped, edited, pixellated, and posted in like three hours, start to finish.
I stirred as Elliot aimed the mic toward his mouth and lobbed another softball at our guest. "And so what's your favorite sex position, would you say?" He said it with that old-radio plumminess he often found buried in his vocal cords; El had always had a fantastic voice.
The guest was a young lady named Kaylen, who must have had a last name. But I'd forgotten it. She was on the show ostensibly because she'd just come back from a summer internship on some island off the coast of god knew where, where she'd counted puffins or something, but in reality the show was taking its usual course: guest comes in, everyone gets nude, we open with some innocuous questions (about puffins, in this case, and islands), we play a song, and then we all start talking about sex.
A lot.
"Well," the puffin lady mused, scratching at her pubes, "I mean, doesn't everyone say doggy?"
"Yeah, but I was just wondering whether being on a bird-covered rock in the Atlantic might have made you think of anything more creative. Or something." They chuckled at each other, already fucking in their minds, and I found my eye wandering to Grundle's clock. Fuck. Eight more minutes of runtime before this recording of
Nude Mood with Bubble and the Whang
would be safely finished, and the
real
show could start. I zoned out as they prattled, a fake smile on my face for the benefit of the cameras.
I had an itchy butt, but I'd long since learned not to scratch there on camera. If I did, the eventual webcast would get a flurry of online comments about me picking dingleberries, or whatever. The camera caught just about everything. And what it missed, the commenters surely found.
She was in the middle of some sort of answer, with me giving appropriate coos and smiles, when Grundle lit up his little yellow light. I waited for a pause in her story, some bullshit she was spinning about masturbating in a tent during a nor'easter, whatever
that
was, and then I lifted my lips to my mic and cut smoothly in. I did check my notecard first, to remember her last name. "So, for those of you listening live? You've just heard from Kaylen Rapp, a grad student in the College of Arts and Sciences, right here on
Nude Mood With Bubbles And The Whang.
We record new content every other Wednesday, then upload on Fridays, so be sure to check us out."
"We want to thank you, Ms Rapp," Elliot added, clean, with no dead air, "for your enlightening comments. We're now going to move into the... well, call it the 'afterparty' segment of the show."
"We call it Sloppy Seconds," I added, putting the usual sass in my voice. I was chewing my bubblegum loudly, as usual.
"That's where we see if anything develops from sitting here nude." He laughed. "See if we can, you know, have a little fun. If you're up for it."
"Oh, I'm definitely up for it." You could hear the truth of that in Kaylen's voice: this chick was the German Army in 1939: she had a very flexible definition of the term
boundaries
. "Definitely."
"Sweet. Well, then this is the point in the show where we sign off on the Comm Department platform and move the party over to our Pixboox Passion Pit..."
"...which you can join live with your Pixboox Plus account," I finished. "Sign up today for special offers and bonus content, including the Whang and I getting up to a few shenanigans on our old show
Kinkytime
, which is fully archived over there. Among other gems, you can watch the time the Whang spread peanut butter on his dick to see how well it would work as anal lube."
"Hell yeah," Elliot gloated. He'd told me once that the best two years of his entire life had been when he was banging me on the webcam, and it gave him a little thrill every time I plugged the archives. "If I recall correctly, creamy beat chunky. Right, Bubbles?"
"Well, we definitely wound up creamy, Whang," I cooed. The guest was glancing back and forth between the two of us, transparently uncomfortable thinking about me and him fucking.
"Yes, indeed we did," he leered, then turned back to Kaylen with his cock visibly harder. "So, before we sign off here and drift out of the Nude Mood, there's only one question to ask: would you rather pop the Bubbles?" He raised an eyebrow. "Or bang the Whang?" I blew a big pink bubble, the gum already losing its flavor.
I was fully expecting her to pick him, which would mean an hour or so of the two of them webcamming, Elliot and I getting paid for every depraved act the Passion Pit audience wanted to suggest. It was a great business model, and it sure beat just me and El doing it every few days like we used to. Female guests usually wanted to bang the Whang and male guests chose to pop the Bubbles, as a rule, but there were exceptions. Elliot sometimes ended up with a dick in his ass, while I occasionally wound up with my tongue in someone's cooter. Kaylen Rapp did not strike me as the kind of girl who'd like me.
She surprised me, then, when she crowed, "Oh, I'll take both of you!"
I glued on a huge, fake grin as I nodded at the camera. "Well, great! Let's get it the fuck
on!
" I was not enthusiastic... but I was a good actress. Webcam girls learn that skill really quick. So, while the play-out music started thumping and Elliot beamed at our guest, I let my mind wander toward the logistics: this woman was a hottie, with a nicely rounded ass and tits almost as sweet as mine. Where would the cameras go? Who'd suck what? Where would Elliot's penis end up? Who'd take the cumshot?
Threesomes were always a little difficult.
"Okay, guys." Grundle slapped a button, then messed with some of his dials. "That's a wrap on the webcast. I'll get set up for the livestream, then you guys can fuck. Or whatever." Elliot stretched, needing no time; he was already halfway hard. Our guest, fingering her nipples, looked speculatively at his genitals.
"Now I know why they call you the Whang," she mused, her voice rich with the kind of playfulness a lot of women used on Elliot. "Before I came in, I figured you'd be Chinese."
"Yeah, a lot of people do." He shrugged. "When we picked the name, we didn't really think of that."
"Did you pick it?" She was ignoring me utterly, which didn't surprise me. That was fine; I was checking my texts.
"No. She did." Presumably, he'd nodded at me. It was true: I'd given him that name when we'd first started out doing the webcam thing, because he was massive down there. "I'm the one who picked hers."
The woman paused, then sniffed. "Bubbles." I was still in my phone, but I could feel her eyes on me, judging. "I can figure out at least two reasons why you chose
that
name," she laughed, and it wasn't a kind laugh. "What's your real name?" Kaylen asked. I was having a hard time not thinking of her as Puffinslut, though Gingerbitch would have been just as appropriate. I laid my phone aside and sighed my way over to their side of the little studio. Time was a'wasting.
"She's Christa," he replied once I didn't answer. His eyes rested unabashed on her tits. "I'm Elliot."
She laughed. "Like in
ET?
"
"Yeah, but with a bigger dick," he leered, starting to jack himself. Elliot's ability to produce a reliable hard-on was legendary, but I'd seen it hundreds of times over the years. I didn't even bother watching anymore. "Phone home, baby."
I interrupted Puffinslut's giggle. "So usually, when guests do us both, we don't bother opening it up to suggestions or audience requests." It was the dozenth time I'd given this spiel. "Usually, when it's one-on-one, the livestream viewers in the Pit get to pay to tell us what they want to see, but we've found that there are just too many moving parts and pieces with threesomes."
She stopped her examination of Elliot's penis and looked slowly over my body, plainly offended that I was not ugly. "Whatever," she shrugged, smiling sweetly, "as long as I don't have to eat out your cunt."
I arched an immediate eyebrow. I had been doing this far too long for customer service to be all that important to me. "Look, you're the one who said she wanted both of us. I'm just as happy to sit off to the side and do my homework while you let El nail you. This is on you."
"Honey," she said after a moment, her voice dripping with contempt, "I think I'd like you to lick my asshole. Deal?"
I shrugged, ignoring the ill-will behind her smile. "Why not." Rimjobs made for excellent content; we'd clear four figures, easy, if Grundle could get a close-up of my tongue in her shitter. "Just do me a favor and clean yourself out first? You can use one of the wipes on the table," I nodded.
She fumed, but I didn't care. I had work to do.
* * *
So important to know!
Certainty, so necessary
To the face we want to show: