When Justin was a young 17 year old sophomore in high school he had the same urges any boy his age is expected to have. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't had any luck with the ladies. A bit overweight with glasses, and always a little late to social trends, he wasn't the most attractive kid. He was a shy, intellectual with plenty of friends, many of whom were girls. They felt they could open up to him, but it always stopped short of romance. Those brother-sister like relationships were cherished by the several girls that opened up to him, but tore Justin apart inside.
To the girls, he was a sweet, caring, smart guy they could have a conversation with. They didn't have to worry about getting emotionally involved or manipulated. Justin was happy to help them out with their personal issues when they needed it, but he longed for more. He had a high sex drive, but just one girl in particular had caught his eye.
Amanda was a year younger than Justin and the two had been introduced through a mutual friend. They began to grow close almost immediately, with different effects on the individual parties. To Amanda, Justin was a breath of fresh air. He was a close friend she could confide in when she needed reassurance or advice. To Justin, Amanda was beautiful, sweet and caring. In short - everything he longed for in a woman.
When Justin went off to college out of state the two didn't keep up much. That's just how it is sometimes. He called Amanda a few times in the first month of his absence, but felt awkward because she had never been the one to call him. He figured that she was enjoying her senior year of high school and was getting along just fine without him. "It is what it is," he frequently thought to himself, saddened by their drifting.
He didn't have any more luck with women in college than he had in high school. While most of his buddies were either hooking up with good looking girls on the weekend on involved in steady relationships, Justin often found himself lamenting his plight. He had made several new female friends, but again, nothing had turned romantic.
Oftentimes when friends from back home would call and inquire about his new life, he told stories about how he had gone on a date or messed around with a girl at a party. They'd never know, and there was no sense in letting them feel pity, right? He did well in school without trying very hard, but he longed for what so many of his friends had ... love.
Amanda's senior year of high school ran smoothly. She wasn't popular, per se, but was known by everyone. She was the type of girl that got along with just about everyone she ever met. Because she didn't run exclusively with the "in" crowd, the most popular guys didn't spend much time trying to "hook up" with her. She had friends from every social circle imaginable. Amanda had her hands in nearly every club or school organization imaginable, and had a passion for life that had Justin in awe from their first conversation.
Towards the end of her senior year she began dating Eric. Justin knew of Eric and had talked to him on several occasions, but he was devastated when he heard the news. He knew that sooner or later she was bound to feel for a man what so many men had felt for her ... but Eric? Eric was also widely known, but not what you would consider to be popular. He had a beard, which was unique in high school, and a somewhat scraggly appearance. He was in a band and had a free-spirited outlook on life. This seemed to contrast a bit with Amanda, who was a bit more conservative.
The summer after Amanda's graduation, Justin came back home. Despite Amanda's relationship, he knew he had to see her. He convinced himself that he would just be closing another chapter in his increasingly lonely life.
The two agreed to meet at a pizza parlor near a local college around 3pm on a Friday afternoon. Neither one of them had found a summer job yet, so both were looking forward to spending a lot of quality time together.
"JUSTIN!" screamed Amanda upon seeing her friend for the first time in months. "I've missed you so much! How have you been? What's college like? Are you home all summer?"
Justin couldn't very well answer all her questions at once, but he smiled, embraced her and took the lead in finding a table. The two chatted over pizza for the next hour and a half, swapping stories about the past year and talking about future plans. Justin could already tell this would be one chapter in his life that would be very difficult to close.
Physically, the two couldn't have been much more different. Amanda was 5'6, 110 pounds with medium-length brown hair that she wore both up and down, depending on the day. Many believed her hazel eyes to be her best physical quality, and she always made eye contact when speaking. She had 34c breasts, but kept them hidden underneath her always-conservative dress. Her legs were smooth and tanned from being outdoors so often. Amanda's face was unique. She had bigger cheeks than the average girl and a wide smile that it seemed like she wore all the time. She bore some resemblance to Jenna Fischer (i.e. Pam) from "The Office", and could best be considered cute.
Justin, on the other hand, had a body that he detested. He was 5'10, 230 pounds and looked every bit of it. Justin wore glasses as well. He couldn't wear contacts, as they didn't fit his eyes. "Just my luck," he often thought to himself. He often looked at himself in the mirror in disgust, first from the front and then sideways. He always pledged to lose "X" amount of pounds in a given month, but after a couple of weeks he always gave up. It was just too hard! It's not that he overate. He just lacked the motivation to run, or walk, or lift weights. He much preferred to pick up a book or play a computer game. Unfortunately, his habits haunted him when it came to women. Especially Amanda.
"So what do you want to do tonight?" he asked Amanda, breaking a pause in the conversation.
"Actually," she hesitated. "Eric asked me to have dinner at his parents' house. I'm really sorry, and I feel horrible about dumping this on you at the last minute! Hold on a sec..."
Amanda fumbled through her purse, trying to find her cell phone that was ringing.
"Hey hot stuff," Justin heard her say into her phone. "It's Eric," she whispered to him. "Yeah, I'm just here at the pizza place downtown with Justin. Justin? Oh we're just friends from a while back and we're just catching up. Nothing for you to worry about!"
That really made Justin burn with jealousy. Nothing to worry about? Was he so pathetic that another guy wouldn't be the least bit jealous if he was spending the afternoon alone with his girlfriend?
"He'll be here in, um, about 5 minutes I guess," Amanda said.
"OK," replied Justin, trying to hide the hurt in his voice. "I guess I'll just wait with you until he gets here. I have plenty of other things to do tonight."
That was a lie, obviously. He would probably go back to his house and read or play video games. Yep, pathetic sounded about right.
The two made smalltalk for the next five minutes when Eric pulled up in his brand new SUV. When he arrived Amanda beamed, ran up to his window and kissed him on the cheek. She turned quickly to wave goodbye to Justin, who was watching in disgust and anger.
To make matters worse, Eric looked at Justin without saying a word and let out a quick chuckle. As they were pulling away Justin heard him say, "Why are you hanging out with that guy? The dude's a loser."
Those words stung probably as badly as anything Justin had ever heard. Not that he hadn't been put down before. But the Amanda he remembered from high school would never date someone that was mean-spirited. She was the ultimate optimist, and for her new boyfriend to insult his honor like that was more than he could take.
Justin walked back to his much more modest vehicle and closed the door. "FUCK! SHIT!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, turning the radio up as loud as it would go. He began to sob, tears running down his cheeks. Why him? What did he do to deserve all this? He was lonely and nothing more than a guy that girls felt they could air their problems to. The one girl that he loved, he couldn't have. -------------------------------
The next day Justin resolved to not go down without a fight. At this point he wouldn't be satisfied to simply be a guy that Amanda hung out with over the summer and talked to sporadically over the phone. No, he would air his feelings, come whatever. What's the worse that could happen? She'd reject him, and he could move on without having to obsess about her anymore.
