Victoria Francis was born on February fourteenth and almost any father would have called her his âlittle valentineâ. Her father, however was comfortably drunk and nestled between the thighs of a panting, blonde-tressed librarian in the next state. He never heard of the birth, nor would he have cared much; the impregnation of Victoriaâs mother was the conclusion of two weeks of nurturing the eighteen year old womanâs naivetĂ© with his natural charm. He forgot about Barbara as soon as he left town in search of the next job. The young girl had been crushed because she thought he truly loved her, and when she missed the second of her monthly cycles, she was mortified. In 1930, good girls did not become pregnant outside of wedlock. Barbara was bustled off two hundred miles away to live with Aunt Elizabeth in the small, sleepy town of Greenville. Barbara would have the baby there, away from the watching eyes and wagging tongues of Hillâs Corner, and then return home. Barbaraâs parents told everyone she had eloped with the drifter and moved to Greenville. Elizabeth told her friends that Barbaraâs husband had left her, and that she had nowhere else to go. When Victoria became old enough to ask about her father, Barbara would tell her the same story. As the months passed, Barbara learned the Hillâs Corner gossip line had already chewed up and spit out their version of her plight, and after Victoriaâs birth, she refused to suffer the indignity of returning. Besides, the economy was in a shambles and there was no more work in Hillâs Corner than in Greenville. Aunt Elizabeth was a teacher, and did have a small income. They planted a huge garden, and Greenville became her new home.
Her aunt had never married, and was of a strict, fundamentalist faith not given to demonstrated affection. The gentle touches and whispers of love between two people would not have been seen in the household even if she had been married. Victoria was, from birth, one to express her feelings in a physical manner, and at first, her sloppy baby kisses were readily accepted by both Elizabeth and Barbara. One day when she was six, Aunt Elizabeth scolded her for such displays, and said she should be old enough to see the devil in her soul. She ordered Victoria to go to her room and pray for forgiveness. Barbara returned from a neighborâs and found the little girl crying into her pillow. Victoria ran to her, and in sobbing spurts, told of her auntâs upset at what had seemed normal until then. On that night, Barbara tucked her into bed and instead of the nursery rhyme they usually shared, Barbara told her a story of a pretty princess who was rescued from peril by a strong young man.
âSomeday, a nice young man will ask you to be with him, too, and youâll live happily ever after, just like in the story.â Victoria fell asleep with thoughts of the princess and the young man.
The next day, Victoria told her aunt about the story, and Elizabeth frowned. âYou shouldnât listen to such drivel. Itâs more of the devilâs work, and your mother should know all about that. Iâll have to speak to her.â
At her bedtime the next night, Victoria asked Barbara to tell her the story again.
âI canât, Victoria. Aunt Elizabeth was really mad at me. If she finds out I told you another story like that one, she might make us leave.â
âI promise not to tell anybody, ever, Momma. Just tell me the story again.â Barbara began the tale as Victoria lay back on the pillow and closed her eyes. She never broke her promise.
In a few years, Victoria didnât need anyone to tell her stories; she read them herself. She became a rather quiet child who was more comfortable reading a good book than cavorting with friends. In the spring of 1940, Barbara found employment as the local librarian, and this pleased Victoria. She could read as much as she wanted, and always had a love story from the library beside her bed. Victoriaâs reading taught her some of the ways of men and women, and in lieu of friends, it was to her mother that she turned for explanations. As she grew older, she and Barbara became almost as sisters; when womanhood approached, Victoria began asking her questions that Elizabeth would have called more devilâs work. Barbara supplied the answers she thought the girl would understand, but could never fully answer Victoriaâs most persistent question.
âMomma, how do you know if youâre in love?â
âI donât know how to tell you that, sweetie. Itâs like youâre so full when youâre with him, and so empty when heâs away, I guess. I thought I was in love with your father, but...well, youâll know because itâll be something youâve never felt before.â
Victoria became a woman at the age of thirteen, and grew into a lushly curved vision of ripe femininity. She began getting invitations for dates with the local boys, and Barbara allowed her to accept after her sixteenth birthday. After she spending the first few evenings wrestling with her companion to keep his roving hands at bay, she stopped going out. By her graduation day, Victoria had become a handsome woman who had never experienced so much as a kiss. With the money from a summer of working at the local grocery, and the money her mother had saved over the years, she was off to college and independence for the first time in her life. The night before Barbara drove her to the university, she knocked on Victoriaâs bedroom door.
âVictoria, Iâve worked to give you the opportunity I never had because..., well, youâre old enough to know now. I was your age when I met your father. He said he loved me and wanted to be with me. I wanted so much to be loved, to feel like I belonged with somebody. He said I was beautiful and that we could get married as soon as he made a little more money. I was in heaven, and when he said that two people who feel about each other like we did didnât need to be married to...to be intimate, I wanted that too. We sneaked into my room one day when nobody else was home. The next day, he left town, and Iâve never heard from him since. The only thing I have to remember him by is you. Do you understand what Iâm telling you?â
âYes, but I already know that, most of it anyway. Grandma told me.â
âGrandma told you? She promised never to say anything to you about your father. Sheâs the reason we came to live with Aunt Elizabeth, so she wouldnât be ashamed of me...and of you.â
âMomma, donât think to badly of Grandma. She worries about me because of what happened to you. She thinks it was her fault. When I visited that week last summer, we had womenâs talks, as she called them. Thatâs when she told me, but she was only trying to tell me to be careful. She didnât mean any harm. Momma, you could have told me this before. It wouldnât have made any difference to me since heâs never been around. He might as well be dead.â
âI thought it would be better if you didnât know, so you wouldnât have to be ashamed with your friends. Aunt Elizabeth and I have taken care of you since you were born, but now, youâll have to take care of yourself. All those things I told you about boys were true. If I had been smarter...â
âYou were smart enough. You just got taken in by a jerk.â
âYes, but it made me feel stupid then, and still does sometimes. I donât go out with men, because I donât trust myself to make the right decisions. You shouldnât be that way, but you have to be careful that youâre sure before you....â Barbara took her daughterâs hand in her own. âVictoria, I see so much of me in you. Life isnât like those fairy tales I used to tell you at bedtime, and it isnât like the love stories you read. Once upon a time never happens, and the prince doesnât always take the girl away to the castle. If you met a man like I did, it might be hard to tell the difference between the real thing and what he wants you to think.â
âDonât worry, Momma. Iâm not going to hop into bed with just anybody that comes along, and Iâm smart enough to see past the words. You said the best thing I could ever give my husband is myself, and I intend to save that until Iâm married. Iâll only fall in love once, for real at least, and I want to save myself for him. I promise you that, just like I promised I wouldnât tell Aunt Elizabeth about our bedtime stories, remember?â
âYes, Honey, I remember. Just keep your wits about you, OK? You havenât had much experience with men, and I wonât be there to help.â
Victoria was as good as her word, and although she had a few dates during her four years at the university, none of the men ever really made her feel as though he was the one. She spent her time studying, and graduated four years later with her degree in elementary education and a teaching certificate. The last semester of âpractice teachingâ had been thrilling and had confirmed her decision to follow her auntâs vocation. Any other occupation would have been meaningless after sheâd spent fifteen weeks with the twenty little boys and girls that made up her second grade class. She came back to her apartment each night with the thrill that sheâd seen a difference in this child or that, and the satisfaction was overwhelming. The more secret reason for her conviction was the squeeze of a small hand, or the hug from a little boy or girl that said, âThank you for helping meâ.
She started teaching at Greenville Grade School the next year, and found that her third grade class was both more fulfilling and more discouraging than she had ever thought possible. The children were wonderful, but the parents were often not all that interested in anything besides having a state-paid baby-sitter. One boy in particular drew first her interest and then her heart. Jimmy was a bright student, and it was difficult to keep him challenged with her normal classwork. When he became bored, he became a disruption to the rest of the class. She had tried to obtain permission to get Jimmy placed in the next grade, but his parents met with her and the principal, and said they didnât want him treated differently. His father went so far as to say she should just âmake him behaveâ if he acted up in class. She went home from school that afternoon and cried out her frustration into her pillow.
The Christmas pageant was an evening when every parent came to see their child play a singing Christmas tree, a dancing candy cane, or star that recited a poem, and was the height of the school year. Every teacher wrote the little skit or chose the song for the class and designed the costumes. The children worked on their presentation for weeks, and by the evening of the pageant, every parent had heard their childâs song or skit so often it was committed to memory. Still, they dressed in suits and dresses and came to watch and applaud. Victoria was proud of her class, and was especially proud of little Jimmy. He had shown a talent for singing, and she had given him a short solo in their song. On the evening of the performance, Jimmy arrived in his normal T-shirt and jeans instead of the white shirt and tie worn by the other boys. Victoria had no time or means to fix his attire, but Jimmy sang his part as if dressed in the robes of a choir boy. As the parents began to leave with their children, she noticed Jimmy walking out the door and ran to congratulate him.
âHey, Jimmy. You did very well tonight, and Iâm really proud of you. Iâll bet your parents are proud of you too.â
âNaw, they couldnât come. My Uncle Jack here brought me.â