"Fuck" Amanda cried out as her cute jean clad butt hit the pavement. Her bag went flying and she realized she was sitting in a cold puddle of water and snow. Biting her lip hard she tried not to cry. This had not been a good day so far and it wasn't getting any better. Standing up she picked up her bag, thankful that it was closed since she really didn't want to be picking up her personal belongings from the wet soggy ground. Brushing back her blonde hair with one hand she tried to look dignified as she waited for her bus. It arrived quickly and she tried to act normal, knowing her butt and left leg had a big wet mark from her trip into the puddle.
Amanda found a seat at the back of the almost empty bus and opened her bag to retrieve her book, opening it to where the cutesy pink and purple unicorn bookmark lay, she began to read her novel. She truly enjoyed getting lost in romance novels, and since her life was far from a picture perfect romance novel, she figured she could imagine her life in the best way possible. Quickly the cute blonde sitting in the back of the bus was immersed in the life of Cassidy Roberts, a fiery red head whose life had been turned upside down when she had fallen head over heels in love with a man who was an undercover police officer. She knew that the story would involve a car chase, maybe a shoot out, but in the end Cassidy and Chase would be together, happily ever after. If only it was that easy.
Amanda looked up at just the right moment, her stop was next. She rang the bell, picked up her things and walked to the door. Exiting the now crowded bus she took the few steps to her apartment complex door. It was a large building, thirty stories, with a combination of tiny bachelor apartments and spacious penthouse suites. Amanda always wondered what the builder was thinking when he designed the place. Her floor, the seventh, had four tiny apartments on either side of the elevators with four large suites in each of the corners. Thank heavens her neighbours were nice, and not snobby and stuck up. Entering her apartment she neatly placed her shoes and coat in her small closet, walking along the ceramic tile to empty out her bag on the kitchen counter. Looking around she bit her lip again, trying not to cry. She pulled out her laptop, turning it on to see if she had missed any emails while on the way home.
"Of course not," she whispered. She glanced at her cell phone before turning off both and getting ready for bed.
***
As the sun rose Amanda was woken up by her clock radio. The sounds of a sultry woman's voice singing an all too familiar song flooded Amanda's mind.
"You and me together/Through the days and nights/I don't worry 'cause/Everything's going to be alright."
Amanda sat straight up and banged her left hand on the snooze button to shut off the radio. Rubbing her eyes she woke up completely, noticing that once again it was cold and dark and snowy. This didn't help her already bad mood.
"Why that song?" she hissed, stomping off to pee and get ready for work.
When the radio turned on nine minutes later it was a different song, something not as sappy and fucking romantic.
Amanda looked at herself in the mirror and realized how much she had changed in a year. Her brown eyes had dark circles under them, she knew it was from endless sleepless nights those first few months after he had left. She had lost some weight, which under normal circumstances she would have been overjoyed with, but since she really had no one to show off her body to, no one to cuddle with, no one to enjoy life with, it didn't really matter.
Amanda's boyfriend William had proposed marriage last year on Valentine's Day. He had rented out the whole restaurant and had gotten down on one knee and proposed. She remembered every last detail of the night. She had played it out over and over again in her head. He had quoted words from their song.
"No one/Can get in the way of what I'm feeling."
He had worn those cute blue jeans that always made his butt look cute. She had worn a short black dress with high heels, an attempt to be a little taller then her five feet four frame. As he waited for an answer she had freaked out. She couldn't say yes. It was too perfect. He was tall, very cute, his blue eyes were always sparkling. His hands were shaking, they both knew that every minute of silence was like an eternity.
"I can't."
That was what she had said. Two simple words that had caused both of them so much pain. She had tried to take it back. She had tried to apologize but it was too late. When she saw the first tear spill from William's gorgeous blue eyes she knew it was over. She couldn't take it back. He had been graceful about the situation, offering to drive her home. She had accepted and as they left the restaurant they almost held hands, but then remembered that things were different.
William stood outside Amanda's door. Being the perfect gentleman he had walked her to her door, making sure she was safe. His face had no emotion, it was empty. He still had the ring box in his pocket, the moment was gone, lost forever. Before closing the door she had leaned over and whispered in his ear
