Amanda wasn't in when I got back to my dorm room, and that was convenient. I really needed to buckle down and get some studying and homework done. I hadn't been behind in my work before, but spending almost all of the weekend with Dave put me right at the point where I could fall behind, and I had a killer midterm coming up tomorrow. I managed to get in two hours of studying, enough to make me feel confident about the exam, when Amanda showed up.
"Oh, my God, girl, how was your weekend?" she gushed. "Did you really spend it with that geeky guy from the party? I mean, he looked so freaking
lame!
"
"Yup, sure did, and looks can be deceiving. His name is Dave, he's a sophomore, and he's just plain amazing! I mean, he's not like any guy I've ever met before."
"OK, give it up: how is he 'amazing'?"
"Well, he's better looking than you think. I mean, at the party, he was looking all nervous, but once he actually smiles, it's just a killer smile. Yeah, he really was a virgin, and nervous as all get out, but once I got to actually talking to him, he started to appeal to me. He's smart, and he seems honest, but most of all, and it took me a while to realize what was so different about him, he treated me with
respect.
"I guess that I wasn't used to it, especially the way all of the other guys around here treat women. Sure, he wanted to fuck, what guy doesn't, but I wasn't just a piece of pussy to him. Even when I was naked, yeah, he checked out my body, but really he kept looking me in the eyes, kept looking at me, and not just my tits.
"And when he kissed me, oh, man, it was just so wonderful! They were soft kisses, romantic kisses, kisses that left me hungering for more, rather than the ram-his-tongue-down-my-throat kisses we get from other guys."
"Holy crap, Marcy, you're in
luuuvvv!
"
"Amanda, I don't know, I've always been so hard-hearted, but I think that you might be right. I mean, I don't have any other word to describe how I'm feeling, and I've sure never felt like this before, not with any other guy."
"Well, the big question is, does he know about your past?"
"Sort of, I guess. I mean, he knows I wasn't a virgin, but he didn't ask just how much not a virgin I am, and I sure didn't volunteer anything. And, oh, damn it all, that's been bothering me all fucking weekend. Amanda, I've screwed so many guys, and never thought anything of it, but when I was with Dave, all I could think about was how my past was going to screw things up. He did have a kind of opening to ask me about my past, but instead of taking it, he just told me that it didn't matter to him, that all that mattered was that I was with him then."
"So, what happens when you two are out and you run into some ex of yours?"
"That worries me, a lot, but, you know what? I don't
have
any exes! Yeah, there are guys I've fucked before, but I don't have any actual ex-boyfriends. As far as I'm concerned, Dave is my first boyfriend, he's the only one who ever wanted to be my boyfriend.
"And you're going to think that this is silly, but the first time we made love, I was thinking about how bad my first time was, and all I wanted to do was make sure Dave's first time was great. It was so great, for me as well as for Dave, that I was trying to make it my first time in my mind."
"Oh, good Lord, Marcy, you really are in love! But what about this Dave? Does he feel about you the same way?"
"Oh, I don't know, I think so, but I'm his first, and you know how stupid guys get over their first. I'm sure that he thinks he's in love, and he does seem awfully mature for his age, but what the Hell does he really know?
"But it was really kind of weird. We were just putting up some stuff in his kitchen, and all of a sudden I realized that we were dancing around each other the way my parents used to do, at least before they got divorced. And that was one thing that really bothered me: my parents should never have gotten divorced, but my mom screwed around on my dad, kind of a lot, I think, maybe the way I've screwed around so much."
"So, why'd your mom screw around?"
"I'm not sure. I mean, I guess that she liked sex a lot, and maybe she was just easy. After all, I've been pretty easy myself up until now, and now I've got to stay faithful, and I've never had to do that before."
"Did your dad fuck around, too?"
"Actually, I don't know. I mean, I guess he could have, at least after he found out that mom was, but I don't really know. I do know that he tried to hold things together for a while, but couldn't."
"So, when are you seeing him again?"
"We're supposed to go camping, of all things, next weekend, if the weather holds up. Thing is, I just remembered, I'll be on my period then. And I'll probably text him tomorrow, after my midterm, and see if he wants to get lunch somewhere."
"Good luck, Marcy, 'cause you're really going to need it."
"Amanda, I've already had just the most unbelievable luck. What I need now is the ability to not screw it all up!"