Hindsight

It is very hard to understand what happened and why; however, it did and the consequences that followed were devastating. The long-term impact can't be measured with any yardstick known to exist. The impact had to play itself out and only hindsight could be 20/20.

Red light runners are a bane to cautious drivers everywhere. In this city, they are more the norm than the exception. There are more rear-end accidents in left turn lanes here than in most other cities. Stopping when a turn arrow changes to red is a safety concern because some idiot behind had no plans to stop. Car insurance rates are astronomical here.

A couple weeks ago, my wife was headed to work and crossed into an intersection on the green light but some asshole in a BMW decided he had more right away against the red than my wife with the green. They charged him with manslaughter and fourth offense DUI. I decided to go to civil court and fight for every cent I could soak out of him and his insurance company. Son of a bitch killed my wife and his only excuse was he was running late to meet his wife. Now, he has plenty of time doing nine to 25 in the state prison. He can meet his wife on visitation days. Fuck him!

The civil case dragged on for 18 months even though witnesses provided all the evidence needed to prove him at fault; his lawyers and his insurance lawyers dragged their feet balking at every claim. Long story short, they didn't win and the loss was worth 17 million to me.

All I had to do was try to start my life over again and in my 60s that isn't as easy as it sounds. I moved away from the area after selling everything at bargain basement prices, moved to a more rural town, and set up housekeeping.

**********

A heavily wooded area abutted my new property and the woods met a state park and wildlife preserve not far away. I took up nature walking, photography, and sold some prints as a freelancer. One of my pics became the cover photo for a regional parks magazine.

On one such walk, I encountered another hiker in the woods. From the distance it was not easy to distinguish whether the person was man or woman, it was the cool of the autumn and heavier jackets and coats covered most distinguishing features. We were walking toward each other with our gaze on the forest. Our cameras were at the ready for that perfect shot; we were not paying attention to the other as much as on the natural scenes unfolding.

When we were about 200 feet from one another, a shot came into view and our instincts took over, we went for the shot. I had brush blocking a clear shot; I tried to side step for a better view just as two deer popped up their heads in alert. It was all camera shutters and shot taking for a brief second or two.

The person called out, "Did you get it?"

"Not sure," I yelled back, "too much brush for a clear shot. You?"

The female voice replied, "I think so, won't know until I download onto my computer."

That broke the ice and we continued to walk toward each other. We extended hands and introduced ourselves. She gave her name as Mary, "Hi Mary, I am Ray. I live near here and walk these woods often."

We both noticed our camera were similar DSLR cameras. "Let me see the shot you got Mary." She held up her camera screen and let me look at the series of six pics she got. "These are good! Not lucky shots, as far as I can see. These are practiced shots."

"Well, some practice but there is always luck involved." Mary smiled proudly as I complemented her pictures. "Turn about is fair play, see yours?"

I returned the favor letting her see my shots. "Wow, check out this framing through the brush and branches. I'd like to see these on a big screen."

We talked for several minutes about our photography hobbies and favorite places to hunt for shots. We were getting comfortable with one another so I took a chance. "Mary, I live just about a mile back this way," I pointed. "This may be a little forward, but I'd be glad to let you see these on my monitor. You can pop your's up too."

"Would the offer include a hot cup of tea and a warm hearth?" Her affirmative answer made me feel good like I haven't felt in a long time.

"Cup of tea, warm hearth, and a couple tea cakes as well. Shall we go?"

"Yes, I think we shall." Mary strode along side me as we walked toward my house at the edge of the woods.

I'm not good at guessing age, yet I presumed Mary about 33 to 35 years old. She stood about five feet eight inches tall compared to my 62 years and just over six feet one inch. We chatted about nature pictures and how much fun it is to get "that perfect shot."

Suddenly, Mary came to a halt. "Ray. Are you Ray Mattissen the freelancer whose photos are published in the regional parks magazine?"

"Well, just a couple."

Mary's excitement boiled over. "Of all the people to meet on the trail, the guy whose photos I try to replicate. Now I'm having tea with him."

We walked at a brisker pace and the distance seemed to half itself with company at my side. "Let me get the door open." I held it open for her and bade her to go in. It is warm in here so take off that jacket and have a seat. I'll get water on to boil. Have you ever had King Cole tea? It is from Canada, the only tea my mother ever drank."

"If you tell me you are from New Brunswick, I'll scream."

"Save the scream. No I was raised in Iowa but my mother was from NB and I still have relatives there. Are you from New Brunswick?"

"Little town of Bath..."

In interrupted, "Right on the banks of the St. John river. Mary, what is your last name?"

"You know Bath? My last name is Brennan." Wonder and astonishment crossed her face as she realized we had an unexpected connection.

"Mother's name Rose?"

"No, Rose is my aunt. How do you know Rose?" The realization that we were related streaked across her face.

"We will have to do the math later. Rose and her husband live in Rose's family home of my aunt and uncle Rita and John. We are first cousins making you a cousin somewhere along the line."

I began noticing how attractive Mary was even in her warm fall sweater and thick pants to ward off nettles. I wondered how attractive she was in a dinner dress.

"An Allison descendant. We aren't not that closely related then, the Brennan connection is somewhat recent for me." Mary's surprise didn't fade as she strode into the kitchen hearing the teakettle begin its whistle.

"What brings you so far south and west, Mary? I wonder, is it fate?" I warmed the teapot, through out the warming water and replaced it with a tea bag and fresh hot water. As the tea steeped, I retrieved the teacakes and set a plate. "The first cup of tea I drank was in Rita's kitchen behind the old general store."

Mary settled into a chair at the kitchen table and began sipping her tea; a sad look crossed her face. "I'm escaping from a not good marriage. He seemed to think punishment is the best way to get results. I finally called the cops on him after the last punishment."

"That's sad Mary. If you don't mind me saying so, I think you are an attractive person." The complement worked, Mary's face brightened.

"Attractive, even in my fall hiking clothes? Get your eyes checked Ray."

"Well, there is an attractive woman in there somewhere and I bet she wants out." I didn't pursue that line any further.

"It's been a long time since she appeared, and, yes, she does want to come out."

"After our tea, I'll drive you to your motel. Then, if you are willing, you can prepare yourself for an evening out. There aren't too many nightspots in a small town but there are a couple good restaurants just about 15 minutes away. Better than something to go from the gas station."

"I don't have a little black dress but I do clean up nice. I'm in the Way West motel. Tell me about the restaurants near by."

The smile held on her face while I told her about the places in mind and what their fare is. "Call it," I said.

Mary chose the seafood and I called in. "We're set. How about more tea?"

Mary turned down a second cup, "If you don't mind, I would like to use the toilet."

We got in the car and drove off to Mary's motel and she slipped out with her smile still affixed. "Mary, I'll pick you up at 6:30 for dinner at seven. I am very pleased to meet you and really overwhelmed that you accepted my invitation."

"You're overwhelmed? I'm ecstatic to meet one of my favorite photographers and, well, can't believe how we are connected. The world is really a strange place."

"Six-thirty, Mary. See you then." I watched as she went to her room then I drove off.

**********

Since Mary was traveling, I presumed she wouldn't have many formal clothes. I made the decision to wear tan dress slacks, an open collar shirt, and wear my blue blazer. I hoped the choice was right.

I arrived at the motel at 6:30, must be punctual. I knocked on the room door and waited for Mary to answer. The woman who opened the door was not the same Mary.

"You said you clean up nice. Why did you lie? You look astonishing." Mary wasn't wearing a little black dress; however, she wore a blue skirt and beige blouse. She had a comfortable wrap ready to put on.

Mary gave me a little spin and her skirt flared out. I couldn't help but look at her legs as she spun. She didn't display more than a bit of leg but it was enough.

"You aren't so bad yourself. Almost like we planned to coordinate. Ray, how come you don't have a woman in your life?"

"Unless I'm way off, you are a woman." I avoided the answer until Mary persisted. "She was killed in a car accident years ago."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"Legitimate question, and not really a pry. We are both partner-less except for tonight. Let's get after whatever the night offers." I picked up her wrap and held it for her slip into. We stepped out into the fall darkness and the drive to our dinner spot.

In the car, Mary settled into her seat and smoothed her skirt over her legs. I was not immune from looking as she took her seat; I saw a little more glimpse of leg. Was she giving me a little flirt with that display? She pulled her seat belt across her lap and the shoulder belt helped emphasize her breasts. I smiled as we drove off.

"Why the big smile, Ray? Are you enamored?" Mary appeared to choose her words carefully and I tried to be equally careful.

"If you mean that I am experiencing a strong interest, then yes, I am. To find an interesting person with the same interests in nature photography who is also an attractive woman and even a distant relative makes enamored the right word."

"Ray, I haven't missed that you also seem smitten by the package your description of me comes in." Mary made a slight adjustment to her seat belt.

"You had my interest on the trail in your bulky hiking clothes. I'm sorry, yes, the package you come in is pleasant to gaze upon." Hopefully, I wasn't being too honest yet what I said was true from my perspective.

"No apology needed. I feel like a woman tonight and your gaze helps me affirm myself."

It was as though Mary was a new blossom opening after a bad ordeal in a bad marriage. I had no thoughts of anything other than helping her bloom a bit more. Of course I thought about sex, I'm still alive and well. Yet, we are related, not closely, and, if my presumption was correct, sex might push things. Or, was the sensible older man coming out of me?

"For the next couple miles, I'll keep the gaze on the road." Mary eased her hand across the center console and touched my arm. The feel of her fingers, even through the barrier of my blazer, sent a shock through me and she must have felt it.

The coy conversation suddenly evolved into outright sensuality when Mary asked, "Was that a shiver of surprise or excitement, Ray?"

I glanced across at her, her hand still touching my arm. "Unexpected surprise followed immediately by excitement. I am only human you know."

"Ray, I am human, too."

Arriving at our restaurant, I opened Mary's door to help her alight from the car. As she spun to exit, her hand stretched out to mine and much more leg, and thigh, and hip greeted me. I took her hand as she set foot on the ground; I didn't release her hand as we walked to the door.

"Yes, Mary enamored."

**********

Dinner was North Atlantic Salmon, fresh, pink, and juicy. A couple autograph seekers interrupted us. The owner tried to keep them away, yet it didn't bother us. I made a couple introductions on Mary to friends.

"This is Mary Brennan from Canada, New Brunswick exactly. Her photography is very good and I bet she'll have a cover photo before long. She got a shot today that makes me jealous."

This rural area is not known for exciting nightspots and it seemed the evening might conclude early. Mary suggested I stop at her motel briefly.

"Just wait in the car, Ray."

Mary was only a few seconds in her room coming back out with her cameras and a small tote.

"We can finish the evening sitting around your wood stove, stoke up the fire, and share some photo ideas." Now she leaned across the console planting a gentle kiss on my cheek. "And, I am in no rush to get back to the motel."

There was no innuendo in what Mary said and no missed meaning on my part. I had plenty of wood for the stove; I wondered if I had enough wood for her completely unveiled desire.

"Mary, just so you know, I've been alone for a long time." I left it up to her to interrupt my meaning and smiled a happy smile at the prospect.

Mary rested her arm on mine just as before dinner, "You won't be alone tonight."

As the crow flies, my place is a short distance from the motel; unfortunately, I have to drive the car on the streets. Yet, the distance was memorably short knowing that my night would be much more memorable.

With the car parked and Mary safely deposited in the living room, I stoked the fire and put a couple logs on. After, I filled an old steel basin with water and placed it on the stovetop. "Helps keep the humidity higher and more comfortable."

We did huddle around the stove and actually did look at pictures. When we came to the shots Mary took at our meeting, I realized she had pictures worthy of publication. After some debate, I convinced her to send a couple pics to an evaluator who would promote them if he felt they were good.

The night was closing in, later than I usually stay up, yet I had no desire to rest or sleep. Our conversation flowed as though we were old friends catching up on our lives.

I felt Mary move closer and I slid closer as well. Sparks flew when our hands touched. As if my long dormant instincts took over, we locked in an embrace and passionate kiss. Mary's body molded to mine and we sighed together.

"Ray, you have all night to stop that," Mary smiled.

I lied back and drew Mary close, we turned on our sides facing the other, and wrapped ourselves in our arms. Passion grew as we kissed and hugged. Our hands roamed without care touching the other intimately. My fingers began working the buttons of Mary's blouse and I felt her hands touching my rapidly hardening cock.

Holding passion at bay was not easy; however, we restrained. The slow removal of clothing made our lust grow. Mary had nicely formed breasts that must have been large A-cup or small B-cup. Even in her thirties, her breasts stood proudly on her chest, her nipples were already stiffened little tips. My first touch of her naked breast made us both sigh and begin another round of kissing and touching.

My shirt and T-shirt came next and our upper bodies touched. So many years without a woman's touch dissolved into mere memory as a woman touched me and me touching she. My slacks and Mary's skirt lasted only a few more minutes before they met in a heap on the floor.

Now we were lace panty and cotton brief away from naked intimate touching. We knew the time had come for the full exposure. Mary conducted a sexy twist of the hip and her lace panty was off. She dragged my briefs from me and stared as intently is stared at her.

"God! You are lovely, Mary." She blushed shyly for a moment until twisting her body to take me in her mouth.

She paused for a moment to speak, "Ray, its okay if you cum quickly." She then went back to sucking me deeply.

I wanted to taste her but she was not in position so I chose to massage her pussy with my fingers. She got the hint and slipped her legs over my shoulders and lowered her hips to my face. Ah, sweet nectar.

"Oh, god, Mary! I'm cumming!" She didn't lift her head; she drank me as I continued to lap at her pussy. I felt badly for cumming quickly and was determined to get Mary off.

We repositioned with Mary lying and me enjoying the view. My head sunk to her womanly juncture and my tongue licked at her tiny love bud. Cautiously, I probed her tiny opening with a finger and she did not resist. I began using my finger to press against her g-spot and she rewarded me with a loud scream and a wet orgasm.

We were both spent from orgasm and recovering when Mary laid her body atop mine and our kissing and petting resumed. I began to respond although not ready to penetrate her.

Mary sensed it too as her hips started to press into me. I felt her wetness as she rubbed and felt me becoming stiffer. To my astonishment, I was ready for more activity receiving the award of her pussy sinking onto my cock.

Mary whimpered as she accepted me into her. "Thank you, Ray. I feel like a woman." A tear rolled down her cheek and she impaled herself completely.

"You are a woman, Mary. You are a wonderful sexy woman. Let yourself go and enjoy." Mary sat up with me deeply inside her and she let go. Her body bounced on me first at a slow pace but built up to a rapid pace as she approached another orgasm.

I felt her vaginal walls squeeze and release me several times then she let out a cry of pure bliss as she had another cum. I was next right after her. We snuggled tightly and went to sleep next to the fire.

Morning broke with Mary by my side. The fire was stoked and warm, the house comfortable and quiet. I was stiff from sleeping on the floor and stiff where I hadn't been stiff in the morning for years.

Mary noticed me waking and snuggled closely. "The water for humidity is hot. Would you like me to wash the stiffness out of your muscles?"

I smiled at her and nodded my agreement. Mary began a slow sensual massage with a towel rung to damp dry and hot from the water on the stove. It was refreshing and sexual at the same time. She dipped the towel and rung it out several times. In the end she paid careful attention to my crotch making me both warm and clean. I guessed she had already taken care of herself.

My sighs and moans as sore muscles began responding to her attention was the best feeling I have ever had. "Mary, I want to make love with you again."

"I hoped you'd say that. I've lied with you waiting for you to wake."

I stretched out my arms to draw her into my embrace. Her body was soft, smooth, and sensuous to touch. She was eye candy that I could devour all day. "Mary, how long are you planning to stay before going back to Canada?"

Mary straddled my hips just as she had last night. She lined my cock at her moist opening and began settling down on me. Her expression changed as the lovemaking began. She was intent and intense in her need. She panted her answer, "How long do you want me to stay?"

We touched, stroked, and teased the others' bodies as we drove on to another crescendo. Mary began making hard thrusts against me, wanton thrusts of need for harder sex. I pushed up with my hips on her down stroke and she moaned loudly.

"Take me, Ray! Oh god, I haven't felt this alive for a long time." I wanted to change position but Mary was close to her cum, I rode it out with her.

When she calmed from her orgasm, I suggested she sit on the couch and let me make love to her there. Mary struggled to her feet only to collapse on the couch. She leaned back with her cute butt on the edge of the cushions her pussy open and waiting. I knelt between her legs, buried my face between her thighs, and licked her clean of her cum.