Then Debbie's phone rang, waking her up. "Do you need to get that, Honey?" I asked.
"Yeah, I probably should! It's probably my mom wondering what the fuck happened to me!" Debbie responded.
As I stood up, she rushed over to her shorts, grabbed her phone, and enthusiastically exclaimed "Hi Mom!"
"Hi Debbie!" I heard a fairly gravelly but feminine voice respond. "Marissa said you went to Tammy's early this afternoon. Are you still there?" I figured out during the conversation that Marissa is Debbie's 14-year old sister and Tammy is Cassidy's mother.
"Uh no, hold on!" Debbie then whispered to me "Get another blunt!" I grabbed a blunt and a lighter, and handed them to her. She lit the blunt and positioned me so that we were standing side by side, with me on her right. I put my left hand on her left shoulder while she held her phone in her left hand and the blunt and the lighter in her right hand. We shared the blunt during the conversation.
"Okay," Debbie said and she put in a FaceTime request. Her mother immediately accepted. I saw a beautiful woman about my age who was 5'5" and 230 lbs. with a face almost identical to Debbie's, and thick blonde curly hair that went almost down to her waist. She was wearing a light blue sleeveless shirt that read "Florida" and had a drawing of a beach. Her arms were heavily tattooed, much more than Debbie's or Cassidy's. Debbie held the phone so that her mother could see both of us from a little below our chests on up. Seeing her daughter topless and with a much older man, Debbie's mother grinned, looking very surprised but not at all upset. "Mom," Debbie said, "this is my boyfriend and our new weed dealer!"
"Hi, I'm Anita!" she said enthusiastically.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you!" I said.
"You too!" Anita then spoke to her daughter "Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend, Honey?!"
"He just became my boyfriend today!" Debbie said, gushing in a manner typical of a teenage girl in love for the first time.
"I can hardly wait to hear this story!" Anita responded grinning.
"Well, after I went to Tammy's, I suddenly got hungry and went to McDonald's." Debbie then reached down, grabbed her shirt, and held it so that her mother could see it. "He was there and he noticed my shirt and this tattoo (motioning her upper left arm toward the phone), so he bought my lunch, and then we sat down and talked and everything was awesome, and he showed me a blunt and invited me to come back to his apartment and smoke it with him, so I did, and we totally fell super hard for each other, and he said he'll give us all the weed we want, and he'd give me all the tattoos I want!"
"How old are you?!" Anita asked me, smiling.
"45!" I said.
"Wow, so am I!"
"I hope you approve of me being with your daughter!"
Debbie quickly interrupted with "I hope all the weed he's going to give us makes you overlook the age difference!"
But Anita said to me "The weed is awesome, but as long as you always treat my baby girl like a queen, that's good enough for me!"
"I promise I will!" I said.
"And try to get her to stop smoking cigarettes while you're at it!"
"I will!"
Debbie then interjected "Hey, I've only smoked one cigarette in eight hours since meeting him!"
"That's a big improvement! Now when are you coming home?!" Anita asked her daughter.
"Well, we're both way too fucked up to drive, so I hope it's okay if I spend the night here!"
"Of course it is, Honey; the most important thing is that you're safe."
"I'm very safe as long as I'm in my super awesome boyfriend's arms!
I then added "I'll make sure she gets to school on time tomorrow morning!"
"I appreciate that," Anita said. "I'm so proud of her that she's going to be the first person in the family to graduate from high school!"'
"Yeah," said Debbie, "and I'm also proving that weed doesn't lower your IQ! I've been fucking doing it since 6th grade and I still fucking make the honor roll every nine weeks!"
"Anita," I asked, "Do you approve of your daughter's extremely filthy mouth?!"
"Well, mine is almost as bad!" Anita responded. "And seriously, her filthy mouth, and her cigarette smoking, are just about the only two bad things about her. She's such a wonderful lady, and that's much more important than anything else. She's an incredibly sweet and caring girl and she never does anything to hurt anyone."
"Unlike that fucking dumb ass bestie of mine!" Debbie interjected.
"So what happened at Tammy's?" Anita asked.
Debbie then responded in a typical teenage girl fashion - excitedly telling the story, talking very fast, and giving lots of details. "Okay, here's the situation! Well you remember when Cassidy got locked up on Friday, she called me from the police station and just told me that she got arrested for stealing some electronics from Best Buy, and she asked me to ask her mom to go bail her out?!"
"Right" Anita said.
Debbie then continued "Well, I called Tammy and told her, and she was fucking pissed off, but she said she'd go over and bail her out after work. And I didn't call either of them yesterday because I figured they'd both be in a rotten fucking mood, and I'd just wait to see Cassidy on the school bus on Monday and she'd update me on everything. But anyway, while you were at work this morning, Cassidy called me again and told me that she's still in jail and to go back to her apartment and beg and do everything I can to get Tammy to go bail her out. So I went over about 12:30 and Tammy told me the whole story. It turns out that Cassidy left out a lot of fucking shit!"
"So is it worse than what she told you?" Anita asked.
"Oh, fuck yes, about 50 times worse!"