Our eyes meet. It's just a casual glance on your part, but the intensity of your dark eyes causes my heart to skip a beat. I reach down to raise my neckline to hide the tell-tale flushing spreading across my chest. As I do, my fingers almost imperceptively graze my breasts and my nipples harden at just that slightest touch. Horrified, I glance up, praying you haven't noticed. You're still looking at me, but now your expression seems curious---you almost look as if you're embarrassed for me. Why, at all times, does my body have to betray me this way? What is it about you that causes such a raw and visceral reaction in me? I look away and try to compose myself. I smooth my blouse and run my fingers through my hair, but as I do, I can't help but imagine what it might feel like to have your fingers in my hair, your hands caressing my throat, your fingers tracing my lips as I suggestively flick my tongue over the tips of them.
What is wrong with me??? I've got to get myself together. I'm behaving as if I'm an oversexed teenager, when in actuality I'm an adult woman---a married adult woman---and you're a married adult man. I take a deep breath and force myself to once again quickly glance in your direction. This time, though, as I look up I casually brush my hair away from my face in an attempt to camouflage my glance. You're no longer looking my way. You're engaged in a conversation with one of your colleagues, and I'm relieved, but at the same time disappointed. Okay. It's time for me to bring myself back to reality and tell myself how ridiculous all of this is.
"Get it together! You don't even know him. All you know about him is that he's a seemingly great guy who just happens to be happily married. You're supposed to be happily married, too, remember???"
I do remember---but I also remember how long it's been since I've felt such an intense physical response at just the sight of a man, if I ever have at all. Oh, don't get me wrong---of course I've felt strong physical attraction before, but this is different. Just the sight of you has caused a burning under my skin (and between my legs) that usually doesn't happen for me until I've actually gotten to know someone. Usually, attraction for me at first almost completely relies on a man's personality. Only after I get to know a man, and find the things in his personality that tick all of my boxes in my compatibility survey do I really develop a strong physical response. So, I ask myself, again, "what is it about you that's causing such an intense physical reaction in me??
Well, okay...lets start with what I know about you. From all appearances, you're a dedicated family man/father, involved in your community, a well-loved teacher, and an ambitious leader. Let's be honest, for most women those attributes are incredibly attractive. Now let's talk about the purely physical attributes you possess which round out the picture. Why do I find myself unable to type those physical attributes without pausing to touch myself? Ugh... explaining this just seems like a lost cause...